March 13, 2007
‘Can I be a successful leader and still be a nice person?’
Eighteen months ago I was hired out of business school by an entrepreneurial services company to set up a new division. I recruited a team of ten, and for months we worked together around the clock to launch the business on time and within the budget. It was a great time – I felt I was leading a happy and focused team.
I now find that two of the people I have recruited are not equal to the job. Both are nice guys, and well liked by the others. I’m not asking what should I do: I know I must fire them, the business can’t afford to carry anyone. What worries me is more general. I am wondering whether I can go on running a lean, fast growing business and still be a nice person. If I have to do what is right for the company the team won’t like me any more. More to point, I’m not sure I’ll like myself that much either.
My bosses say that I have everything it takes to be a great success. Last month I was given a large bonus and a big promotion. I want to make the company a success, but am worried about whether I can do this and remain the decent person I have always tried to be.
Manager, female, 31
It is very possible to lead a business team and be a nice person. It is probably not possible to lead an team and be weak. It is not being nice to risk the investments (jobs, money and time) of all the stakeholders by allowing people to continue who cannot do the job. Dismissing poor performers though should be the last resort. You must tell them of yor concern and invite and support them to improve. You must make clear what standards and achieveents are rewquired (ideally by getting them to specify them for themselves) You should not give them advice, but make support available to them if they desire it (e.g peer or professional coaching). If you try to advise them, they will not own their performance or improvement.
Posted by: Jonathan Wilson | March 14th, 2007 at 8:57 am | Report this commentI made the mistake of trying to be “nice” (actually weak) some years ago and instead of making fifty people redundant, I ended up losing the company and all two hundred people. The only good news is that everyone got new jobs, but the memory stays. As the leader, you are just that, a leader: you are not God and cannot magic things the way you would like them to be. You can work patiently with the team to build the new reality and that means dealing with reality, not shying away from it. That is the nicest and kindest thing that you can do.
The only way to be a successful leader in the long term is to be a nice person that people WANT to work for. Why not try changing the people that are not equal to the job into winners that can do the job exceptionally well. Let them know where they are not meeting the requirements and look for ways to improve their performance via training, mentoring, etc. If that fails they will probably realise that they are not making the grade and will look for other jobs where they will be a success. ( A useful rule of thumb in dealing with subordinates is treat them the way you would like to be treated by your boss.)
Posted by: Chas Cowie | March 14th, 2007 at 11:24 am | Report this commentIf nice is just saying nice things and having creating a clubby, non threatening sort of atmosphere, then no.
If nice is giving people the feedback they need to improve, being honest about their challenges as individuals, then yes.
It seems to me that the people most useful to anyone in a career are those who let you know things about yourself you don’t already know or don’t want to know, in a Johari’s window “blind spot” way. Then you can do something about it. It does require people to disassociate who they are from what they do, not something we are very good at, but there are a variety of ways of helping people to get this.
This seems to me to be the right thing to do if you actually want to help others.
Posted by: tobias rooney | March 14th, 2007 at 11:37 am | Report this commentWe can be more or less nice, and I am not sure whether a fast business like the one you seem to be into has much room for being nice. But the real question is whether you can remain a decent person. You are dealing with human beings that presumably try their best, and they have a right to be treated decently. If you are not up to this side of being a leader you’ll sooner or later come down yourself. And one last thing; if your bosses do not realise this, you better find another company to work for.
Posted by: Lars Hektoen | March 14th, 2007 at 12:24 pm | Report this commentYour people may actually realise that they are really struggling and waiting for an opportunity to talk with you. How you handle things defines you as a person. They may be much better off in another role or with another organisation. training and coaching may only take you so far.
I’ve generally made more mistakes by hanging onto pepole for too long rather than being upfront and resolving problem situations at an early stage.
Posted by: Mark Feeney | March 14th, 2007 at 1:49 pm | Report this commentThe answer is no. You can’t be a nice person and manage a business. That doesn’t mean that you have to be horrible. It means you will sometimes have to be unpopular and not mind about it. It means you must put the needs of business ahead of the needs of individual employees. And if you do that you will make enemies. The simple fact of leading means that you stand in judgement over other people and often the judgements you will pass will be ones they won’t like. IN all, the job simply isn’t compatible with being the nice, popular, roll-your-sleves-up boss that you were in the heady first few months.
Posted by: Lucy Kellaway | March 14th, 2007 at 3:03 pm | Report this commentSo give up any idea that your employees will like you. They aren’t your friends and shouldn’t be. What you should aim for is their respect - if you can get them to realise that the job you are doing requires you to do horrid things from time to time. You need to the right horrid things in as humane a way as you can. And possibly, if you do that you’ll be able to go to bed at night thinking you aren’t such a beastly person after all.
Sadly being nice is essential but not sufficient.
I hope you have not left these guys to wallow in their problems but have already been through coaching, support and a straight forward conversation that tells them why you are unhappy. You may be surprised at how often people lack any idea of what their boss thinks about them!
You need to be “nice”, have a sense of morals and behave honestly. That does not mean never making an honest mistake but does mean always doing your best for the right reasons.
There is no compromise being making your people happy and pleasing your boss. If you do it properly your people will move mountains to please you. So long as you only promise to move small hills for your boss, everyone is happy!
I am sure that other people in the company are wondering why you have not sorted this problem out yet. Failing to act shows you do not care or worse have not noticed. They will complain if you act firmly but afterwards say you should have acted months ago!
Don’t beat yourself up for doing what is right, just do it in an honest and helpful way.
Posted by: Stephen Walker | March 14th, 2007 at 4:29 pm | Report this commentWhy the dichotomy: successful leader vs. “nice” person?
Posted by: Dr. Wandemberg Ph.D. | March 15th, 2007 at 11:48 am | Report this commentFirst of all, a truly successful leader must be a nice person (BTW, nice person does not mean weak at all!)
Secondly, what is a “successful leader”? A truly successful leader is one who has what it takes to make a “successful leader” of each and everyone around by creating an environment conducive to ideal-seeking behaviour (as opposed to the typical goal-seeking behaviour) within a sustainable path.
Cheers!
I have truly enjoyed reading this particular case study and the numerous responses to it.
Posted by: Mark Willis | March 15th, 2007 at 7:15 pm | Report this commentHowever, I am appaled and disappointed by the last comment by Dr. Wandemberg: I have rarely read such gibberish which can contribute to give so-called expert such a bad reputation ! What exactly does ‘ideal-seeking behavior within a sustainable path’ mean???
No you cannot. The two issues (being nice and doing a good job) are mutually exclusive. To be clear, you can be decent and nice in how you go about firing them and not make it personal but you can’t do an effective job if you worry about how you are going to be perceived.
I’ve done it twice, its not fun and what you have to keep in mind at the end of the day is how you feel about yourself.
A few years ago after firing some members of a marketing team I ran into one of them at an industry function. The nice thing that they said to me was that I never made it personal, it was a professional decsion that in time they came to understand and accept. That’s about the best you can hope for.
Posted by: Nigel Sonariwo | March 19th, 2007 at 8:39 pm | Report this commentI’d like to give a virtual bouquet to Nigel Sonariwo. He avoids the comforting rationalisation that almost all managers fall back on when they have fired someone. They usually claim that in the long term they are doing the fired person a favour by freeing them to get another job that will suit them better. This thought allows them to hang on to the idea that they are nice people really. In my experience truely nicer people don’t go in for self serving lies of this sort. Sonariwo is right: the best that the manager can hope for is to get the sacked person to understand and accept it and not take it too personally.
Posted by: Lucy Kellaway | March 20th, 2007 at 5:27 pm | Report this commentYou can be a “nice” person and a successful leader. Being nice is also being right, being present, coaching, managing performance, etc.
Your team, both successful and unsuccessful ones will judge you more for having the courage to face problems, that by the false pretense of being nice and avoiding confrontation.
In order to be a “nice” leader be sure you:
1. Provide a north for your organization to strive for. Make sure your strategy is a sound one, matching the environment of your industry and the economic realities of your company.
2. Ensure your team has clear objectives, the needed resources and the support from you and the rest of the managerial team to remove any barriers.
3. Follow up and challenge when needed. Things will not happen by miracle once you have 1 and 2 completed.
4. Address performance issues on the spot. Leaving them for later can bring the organization to a performance level that is not desired and you will go on a downward spiral were confidence, performance and overall results will disappear.
5. Acknowledge and celebrate successes.
6. Get/allow for open feedback about your leadership and take action.
7. Keep your team informed and explain changes, deviations to plans, etc. to maintain motivation.
This will surely keep you in the category of “nice” leader. Good Luck!
Posted by: Esteban Uriarte | March 21st, 2007 at 12:30 pm | Report this commentI don’t agree with Nigel and Lucy. The manager _has_ done mistake herself way before employee inadequacy to job surfaced - when she hired her. Hiring whatever comes to hand in first place is another name of manager’s lack of professionalism. And there is bunch of excuses from such managers - from lack of time to prioritizing on getting things done. We have too many people promoted to managers nowadays while they actually should not be managers in first place. And following Lucy’s and Nigel’s logic, they must eliminate problem in first place - they can’t deal with proper hiring, so they must fire themselves. Period.
Years ago, my then manager had been charged with task to disband the whole team just because some knee-jerk high-level boss decided to shutdown project which he personally disliked. So manager faced nasty reality to kick out 23 persons no matter how good they are, and it _was_ difficult to him on personal level. Moreover, the team has been just hired 3 months ago by another manager, project was fine and there was starting momentum of success in form of money and recognition.
So what that guy did? He took the charge and made a round of pitch for his own people to other managers. I found myself being hired by another manager all of sudden just because he called and made recommendation for me. Whole team has been re-arranged to other places, no matter how or whether they were effective. And to the credit of that guy, I was not kicked to the street. I was in project for next almost 5 years and made critical part of product, which was sold for hundreds of millions at the cost of about about of eighty million.
To make long speech short, it is up to you what you do with challenges and how you turn them into opportunities. Those who look for simplest “solutions” deserve simple “rewards”.
Posted by: A.T. | March 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm | Report this commentCome on, A.T. you can’t extend your personal experience to the whole sector. Applicants misrepresent their abilities during interviews as they just want to be hired irrespective of their ability to do the said jobs. Business functions in uncertainty so when there is a need to downsize, the most inportant qualities are professionalism, honesty and respect. No patronising or all those fiddledaddle like ‘wanting the best for you’ and so on. Being nice in a lot of situations is a synonym for weakness and populism. We need to bring character back into offices.
Posted by: Chika Chukwujekwu | March 22nd, 2007 at 11:41 am | Report this commentIt is not about being nice or not. It is about being professional - if there has been an open feedback system about employees’ performance, then those two team members of yours are aware that they are performing below average. That should make your task more straight forward - if they were given opportunities to improve (given certain KPIs), and are still not up to scratch. We would all hate to be on the receiving end of this, but there are ways of doing things right, not nice.
Posted by: Anne | March 27th, 2007 at 1:26 pm | Report this commentRegarding the comments made by someone about “ideal-seeking behaviour” I would love to explain it here but it would take too long, so please go to: www.geocities.com/juwandem/seminar.html
Cordially,
Dr. Wandemberg
Posted by: Dr. Wandemberg | March 27th, 2007 at 4:45 pm | Report this commentRunning a business well is being “nice” to shareholders and to your senior managers. Being “nice” to employees who need to be fired is being “not nice” to your employer or shareholders –and it means you’re being “not nice” to yourself because any poor performance on your team will hurt you. If you can’t find a way to improve their performance, the decent thing to do is to let them go with as little pain as possible, and pay them well (if you fire them early you can pay them as severance the money you would have paid them over months of agonising about being nice while they weren’t doing the job you needed them to do).
Posted by: Anonymous female | April 6th, 2007 at 12:37 pm | Report this commentDon’t forget, in this age of activist investors, if you don’t do what needs to be done, someone else will impose it on you, and you can lose your reputation and your job in the process.
One more thing: in business being nice = being doormat. Decency is a more rational, profitable and noble goal and one most people still fail to achieve.
Successful leadership requires you to motivate your workers towards the team goal according to one of the following:
1) Theory X: Stick, applicable to shirkers and rebels
2) Theory Y: Carrot, applicable to high-flyers and enthusiasts
3) Theory Z: Neither stick nor carrot because the workers and the team are already goal-congruent.
Z is utopia, and normally short-lived. It’s where you were in the honeymoon days of building your team.
Whichever approach you take to your underperformers, and whatever your action (keep, sack, retrain), you will have done the decent thing if you are transparent and have evidence to support your decision.
Posted by: TK, banker, male, 34 | May 9th, 2007 at 11:59 pm | Report this commentTo me there is a contradiction in question - Why do you ask?-There must be a doubt there if they are good or not! If they are liability, no question, but they were hired, they ARE doing a jobe - so they are not that bad then!! And yes, in this case it is wrong to fire them. You have to work on it, girl! People’s fates and possibly health are at stake here and yes, it is your responsibility!!!
But if someone is like putting the building on fire on daily basis or shows up for work wearing they nighties, lol, then your conscience would not have any doubts.
I think it is clear! - i.e. when you have to take a decision.
Often, however in corporate environments you are forced to make some people redundant and have to be ruthless. And correct, you can’t be nice and decent and at peace with yourself and still consider yourself successful and decent, because you know you ARE NOT! That is the main reason I left banking because this dilema was also at the core of me! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Posted by: anon, banker, female | December 12th, 2007 at 10:53 pm | Report this comment