March 26, 2007
‘My PA wants time off for cosmetic surgery’
Dear Lucy,
My PA recently told me that she had to go into hospital and would be off work for two weeks. I was sympathetic and told her to take as much time as she needs. I then asked delicately the reason for the treatment, to be told it was cosmetic surgery. In light of this I have said she must take the two weeks as holiday. She has responded with great hostility and is threatening to quit. I feel I am in the right, but don’t want to lose her as she is efficient and pleasant and it takes time to train someone else.
Manager, male, 38
Please post your age, occupation and gender with replies — names and email addresses are not required.
The best answers will be published in the Financial Times.
If the reason for the surgery is pure vanity then you can’t set a precedent by allowing this. I’d like to take 2 weeks off to work on my golf swing but I wouldn’t expect to be paid to do so.
Banker, Male, 35
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27th, 2007 at 10:00 am | Report this commentSpeak to HR. This should not be a decision you have to take unsupported.
If there is no policy on this then suggest to HR that one be drafted.
Posted by: Alan Bright | March 27th, 2007 at 11:00 am | Report this commentA friend of mine, just went for a brief, 10 day promised recovery, eye left, she has come out anything, but. Her cornea is damaged by the laser lights used to perform the surgery, and the infection is so severe that it has deteriorated her entire health. She is now out of work for 7 weeks. The cosmetic surgery, while it sounds simple & well “cosmetic” can be quite dramatic, so if I were you, be human, be generous and give her time off. Believe me things are not so black/white, at the end if something goes wrong you might have to deal with her absence any ways.
–
Posted by: Mariam Sultani | March 27th, 2007 at 11:54 am | Report this commentKind Regards,
Mariam Sultani
(i don’t know why people publish their age when responding to problems?)
having recently had eye-surgery myself, i feel it is unjust to term it as purely cosmetic- bad eyesight was something i had suffered from since the age of 7 and the decision to undergo laser eye surgery has changed my life.
in this day and age where society’s pressures have resulted in looks carrying monumental value, calling surgery ‘cosmetic’ is not only incredibly limiting but also naive. before condemning her to having to take this as surgery, perhaps the best thing to do would be to find out the precise nature of the surgery and to consult HR as well so as to make the fairest decision.
Posted by: Theda ten Cate | March 27th, 2007 at 12:10 pm | Report this commentGiven the costs of recruiting and the time needed to induct new people, if there isn’t a company policy in place, why not treat it as a one-off concession, and create a policy for the future? Surgery is expensive and carries a risk, so she must feel very strongly about the ‘defect’ she’s addressing, even if you feel it’s a minor issue. If it goes well, you’ll benefit from having a happier, more confident PA. The change in a past employee who had cosmetic dentistry was astonishing, yet none of us realised it was a problem that had been holding her back until her teeth were fixed. But I’ve heard that successful cosmetic surgery can trigger a desire to have other things ‘done’ so a policy is a good idea.
If it doesn’t go well, creating an atmosphere where she feels she should compromise her health by returning too early could lead to much worse problems for both of you.
Best of luck with it,
Penny Haywood
Posted by: Penny Haywood | March 27th, 2007 at 1:09 pm | Report this commentPR agency owner. female. 40+
Yes, these are relevant because one’s attitude is affected by one’s experience and the conditioning received in one’s formative years.
My sympathy is largely with the enquirer who is being pressurised to change a decision he clearly believes is right (”blackmail” would be an inappropriate term since it it only applies when one has done something wrong). If the PA needed cosmetic surgery in order to do her job, he would presumably have noticed (no, it’s not a question of insensitivity - if she is his PA, then the impact of her appearance on him and his clients/suppliers/customers/contacts is the most, probably only, important way it affects her ability to do her job). So cosmetic surgery is not a work issue. So it should, logically, be undertaken in her own time at her own expense.
Of course she is likely to be upset at his failure to appreciate how important it is for her to improve the appearance of her nose/ear/eyebrow or whatever it is she feels needs improvement. It might help if a sympathetic female reassures her that the manager doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her appearance, but it may be too late.
And in response to a previous comment: there are still a few of us left who get by on the quality of the work we do rather than how we look.
Posted by: John Borgars | March 27th, 2007 at 2:17 pm | Report this commentJohn Borgars, Consultant Investment Analyst, 60
A classic case for arbitration / third party advice, given one person’s need is another person’s greed. As cosmetic surgery is about self esteem, she may be an even better PA for it, but a degree of rigour is needed when answering to a personal whim. I would suggest your granting her one week of time off and any additional time being taken as holiday.
Consultant, male, 47
Posted by: David Lloyd Owen | March 27th, 2007 at 3:13 pm | Report this commentIt’s called “sick leave” for a reason: if you aren’t sick, you don’t get leave. It has to be a matter for HR now. Anyway, you played it so wrong! After murmuring sympathetically, you should have slipped off to HR and got them to nix it. When your PA got the bad news, you could have murmured even more sympathetically while saying that your hands were tied.
Banker (female, 38)
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27th, 2007 at 4:50 pm | Report this commentIt is obviously important for her but it’s still a personal issue. If you lead a team you have to be fair and consistent. If someone else asks you to have extra time off to spend with their child or to make their lifelong dream trip you have to have the same consideration, or not.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 27th, 2007 at 4:50 pm | Report this commentManaging Director, male, 33.
The win-win outcome depends on your company pay culture. If you pay strictly by the hour, then offer unpaid leave, so your PA does not lose scarce holiday, and has the chance to work back her hours. If you do not pay for overtime, ask your PA to summarise the unpaid hours she has worked in the last year, and allow her time off against that - you owe her. But if she hasn’t been flexible, why should you be?
Male, 51, retired Local Govt
Posted by: Ian Slater | March 27th, 2007 at 5:19 pm | Report this commentEmployees justifiably see personnel policies as legal protections, whether they are or not. If your handbook says your PA can or cannot take off for “surgery” or “sick leave,” that’s it, full stop.
If things are not so clear, you have to decide whether you want to alienate this employee. I don’t see how you can stay on good terms if you put your foot down.
People with little leverage want — and in my opinion deserve — clear guidance. If taking off for cosmetic surgery bothers you (and it does me, by the way), you should get the rules clarified so that it does not happen again.
Posted by: mail, 45, association executive | March 27th, 2007 at 9:21 pm | Report this commentYou are judging her, pure and simple. She was under no obligation to let you know why she was having surgery. The relevant question is whether planned surgery (whether you deem it necessary or not) is covered by the company’s sick leave policy. If not, what are her options?
Female, 39, Human Resources
Posted by: Anonymous | March 28th, 2007 at 1:58 am | Report this commentAny relationship is a two-way thing. It would have been better if your PA had enough confidence to discuss the issue beforehand either with yourself or someone from HR. In the circumstances it would be best to allow her to take a week as holiday and a further week as unpaid leave. Presumably, you will have to pay for a temp to replace her while she is away?
Despite the foregoing, it is necessary to clearly define when staff are entitled to sick/unpaid leave etc.
Temporary PA (66)
Posted by: Anonymous | March 28th, 2007 at 1:38 pm | Report this commentJudging by the lack of information to the contrary, I am assuming that this is a purely non-essential cosmetic surgery. Given this, there is absoutely no way that your PA should be allowed to go on paid leave in order to have this surgery, and she should instead take the two weeks as part of her holiday allowance. By threatening to quit, she is in effect engaging in a form of workplace bullying that should not be tolerated. If she wants to quit, let her; by the sounds of it, you will be much better off without her in the long run.
Finance professional, Female, 27.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 28th, 2007 at 1:51 pm | Report this commentCharles DeGaulle said it best:
“The graveyards are full of indispensable men.”
-Supply Chain Professional (53)
Posted by: Mark Babb | March 28th, 2007 at 3:16 pm | Report this commentI am curious to know why you think your PA is pleasant (she gets angry when hearing a perfectly legitimate objection from her boss) and efficient (she asked her employer to pay her while she will be receiving plastic surgery). Do you also think she’s honest?
Banker, Male, 37
Posted by: Anonymous | March 28th, 2007 at 4:17 pm | Report this commentI guess “efficient and pleasant” PAs don’t get the sort of bonuses common to sometimes less useful managers, so treat it as a bonus and say you changed your mind and apologize. She probably feels you exploited her honesty. Besides, isn’t it gonna be cost effective for your company as well, rather than train a new PA?
Max, PhD student, 33
Posted by: Anonymous | March 28th, 2007 at 10:15 pm | Report this commentIt hugely depends on the surgery we are talking about here. What is now considered cosmetic surgery it can be good health in future. I had breast reduction surgery, while I was young and before it created serious problems with my back. I wasn’t *only* doing it for cosmetic purposes but was also recommended by the doctors. I was a student back then so I didn’t have this problem but it was a difficult time and the last thing I would have needed is a boss being inconsiderate & unfair treating it as a casual whim.
Solicitor, female, 28
Posted by: AC | March 29th, 2007 at 2:29 pm | Report this commentBe practical. You wouldn’t want her back in the office miserable and wrapped in bandages or covered in bruises. Hiring and training someone else would be a hassle if she quits. So compromise and offer her unpaid leave instead. That way she’ll be incentivised to recover as quickly as possible.
Director, male, 32
Posted by: Anonymous | April 2nd, 2007 at 12:09 pm | Report this commentI do hope you don’t take the ‘get HR to fix it and pretend your hands are tied’ route. I hope the person who suggested that isn’t a colleague of mine. Seems to me that even if there’s no company policy on this then it is an easier problem than many as there’s a straight halfway house solution: one week holiday, one week sick leave, deal done and let’s get back to work. Presented sensitively I’d be surprised if the PA didn’t agree to this.
Posted by: Ben | April 3rd, 2007 at 11:47 am | Report this commentIf I were you, I’d give her the benefit of doubt. The HR policy is presumably silent on the matter, and the PA probably took it to imply that any medical treatment would be admissible for medical leaves. The understanding may be unreasonable, but then, anything not expressly denied is in effect allowed. I would let her take her sick leave, but take the matter up with HR for a prospective change in the policy to claify whether or not cosmetic surgery qualifies for sick leave.
Posted by: Anonymous | April 3rd, 2007 at 3:40 pm | Report this commentAccountant, female, 29.
I am a good PA, a very good one, and I am fortunate enough to have a boss who understands the value of a good PA i.e. that his professional life would be a shambles without me and that he is pretty much dependant on me. I don’t abuse this position because we treat each other with respect. I think that’s the cornerstone of any working relationship and your original correspondent should remember that.If having a nip and tuck makes his PA happier, more confident and more productive, who loses? The firm will only gain in the end as even if she does stay on, you can bet she’ll get her revenge in other ways. Beware gentlemen - women are a lot smarter than you think!
Posted by: PA, female, 52 | April 4th, 2007 at 9:42 am | Report this commentI’m assuming you’re talking about non-essential cosmetic surgery, as opposed to correction of some form of disfigurement. If so, then I can’t think how she thought this would qualify as ’sick leave’. If the surgery is to fix something which has been causing her distress, and if her sickness record is good, then as a goodwill gesture, I would be inclined to offer her a few days’ compassionate leave with the balance as holiday time or unpaid leave. If however, she’s merely boosting her B cups to C cups, then I’d not be inclined to offer her any concessions whatsoever.
Posted by: Lawyer, female | April 4th, 2007 at 2:50 pm | Report this commentI don’t see that there is anything to deliberate here. If I wanted to hit the gym for two weeks to alter my physical appearance would we be having the same conversation. Of course not. She is taking an absolute liberty! Replace her and be done.
Posted by: Graham | April 4th, 2007 at 7:09 pm | Report this commentThe most important thing is to make sure she is having her surgery in a reputable clinic! Otherwise she may cease being either pleasant or efficient. Joking aside, cosmetic surgery can be painful and the victim may feel low for several weeks afterwards. If she knows this, then she must have strong reasons for having the surgery done. She may come back to you radiant and smiling, although from what you have said of the way the situation has been handled so far, it’s more likely that her new-found self confidence will result in her resignation.
Posted by: Gareth Greenslade doctor aged 50 | April 4th, 2007 at 7:16 pm | Report this commentFunny old thing how modern ways lead us into trouble:
1. You’re on first name terms (I presume)
2. You have the gall to ask her what’s up (schoolboy error!)
3. She admits that she’s having her appearance surgically improved, probably just so you can make that BEFORE check in order to complement her on the improvement (god forbid you fail to notice the AFTER - what a waste of cash!)
4. You feel you should be ‘tolerant’ of her issues (but actually feel more that you’re being railroaded into agreement)
Ultimately, like many, you probably feel that principle is being sacrificed at the altar of PC-style tolerance which has resulted in our value-free modern culture.
Incidentally, the posts mentioning corrective eye surgery, that may be ELECTIVE/PLANNED but is certainly not COSMETIC!
And finally, do by all means let HR take the decision, especially if it will go against your PA. However, unless it’s a ruling on company policy don’t expect the decision to be based on principle - I’ve never met an HR manager that sought to take ‘tough’ decisions without a lot of top-cover that is unlikely to want to get involved.
Posted by: Investor | April 4th, 2007 at 11:33 pm | Report this commentYou may not know the true reason for hospitalization.
Imagine that you are very good at your job, have a good working relationship with your manager and need to take two weeks off work for elective surgery to correct mild incontinence. When you warn your manager that you will be absent for two weeks for surgery, would you prefer it if:
1) She is generally sympathetic and offers to check with HR what certificates you need to ensure that payroll services don’t screw up or make a drama out of recovering statutory sick pay
Or
2) She asks “delicately” the reason for the treatment.
If for any reason you have any difficulty imagining that you are good at your job, just try putting “Hippocratic Oath” into a search engine.
Posted by: Ironybrew, 57, Retired, Male | April 29th, 2007 at 5:20 pm | Report this comment