June 5, 2007
‘My talented managers clash’
I run a small company in the voluntary sector. Six months ago I recruited a finance director, who has turned out to be exceptionally able and already he has put the company onto a much stronger financial basis. However he clashes with my operations manager, who has been with us from the beginning and is the most talented and inspiring person in the company - including myself. They seek to undermine each other in every way - large and small. They will not advance each other’s projects, they fidget in meetings when the other is talking. Part of their quarrel with each other is on policy, but underneath is a deep personal antipathy. I have told them that they need to sort it out. We have all been together on team building courses, which was relatively successful at the time, though as soon as we were back in the office all the old difficulties resurfaced. I do not want to lose either of them, but the endless bad feeling and squabbling is really sapping my energy. Are there any ways of getting the two of them to behave?
Sibling rivalry in the office! Bang their heads together and tell them to grow up, and if they don’t respond, threaten to punish them both. Works with small children …
Posted by: consultant, 39, female | June 5th, 2007 at 5:42 pm | Report this commentThese two individuals may work more effectively together where they have clear common goals. As the boss you can make it clear that the projects that have been unsupported by your feuding managers are important to you and to the organisation as a whole and must be completed successfully. A track record of successful collaboration may lead to a better working relationship - the team building events show what may be possible - although friendship seems most unlikely in the short term!
Despite your flattering words: ‘exceptionally able’ and ‘most talented and inspiring’ these individuals do have some problems and you’re responsible for helping them through this. Make clear to each one of them individually how much you value their contribution but also stress that unless this is made as part of the team it will be severly diminished. Also, explain how you value and intend to harness the strengths of the other individual.
Consulting Actuary, male, age, 43
Posted by: Anonymous | June 6th, 2007 at 8:23 am | Report this commentIf this continues, sooner or later one of them will decide to leave the company as this is not sustainable. Which would you prefer to keep, if a choice is forced upon you?
It’s puzzling that they manage to do team-building exercises yet can’t cooperate at work. Have you thought about getting a sort of team-building expert/consultant into the office to monitor you all and give them some advice on what steps they can take to forge a more constructive working relationship? He could start off with teaching them some manners and some professionalism.
Posted by: A. Anderson | June 6th, 2007 at 10:08 am | Report this commentSounds like they need to grow up, I’m sure they are just both so passionate about what they do that they can’t see value in each other’s ideas. If you put to one (anonymously) an idea of the other, I’m sure they would love it, give it a go.
Posted by: Mr Peabody | June 6th, 2007 at 12:05 pm | Report this commentI suggest that you make them tell you what the problem is. If you are not satisfied with their explanation (i.e. you feel they are avoiding the real issue) then you shouldn’t not let them leave until their admission has satisfied you. Until you know the real root cause(s), there is little you can do about it. Do this individually, otherwise they will either clam up or feign resolution.
I suggest you avoid the team-building avenue in future as I do not agree that it is “puzzling that they manage to do team-building exercises yet can’t cooperate at work”. It is laughably obvious. Getting a tyre across a river only serves to strip out the likely sources of any disagreements, which avoids the problem, rather than solving it. There are few rivers in the average office and more differences of opinion on principles, aims and how to achieve them. Of course, I am assuming you don’t run a tyre-logistics company.
If it really does come down to personaility, rather than disagreement, you must choose. Don’t threaten either of them, as it will only lower their motivation while leaving the problem untouched.
Posted by: Consultant, 28, male | June 6th, 2007 at 1:28 pm | Report this commentGo out one evening you three and observe carefully after couple of drinks. You bound to find out the reason behind the odd feeling during that relaxed moment. As both of them are talented they have big eggo and may be something very tiny happened on first interaction on which none of them giving in. Once you find out ask directly face to face to reconcile or decide whom you can spare.
Posted by: Male, 45, CFO | June 6th, 2007 at 4:07 pm | Report this commentTotal openness is the only way to resolve this in the long term. Your best contribution is to get each of them to be honest to him or herself about their opinions of the other, and then once you have got that clear, gradually help them communicate it to each other. This way you will have the chance to spot and resolve any negative opinions before they start shouting them across the office.
Very likely each has some lack of understanding of the other’s motivation, point of view, skills or simply where they’re coming from. Most criticisms arise from this and where they are genuinely founded, this exercise will help you to give constructive feedback that each can use to improve. The more you can raise the level of understanding the better the communication should become.
Once they really ‘get’ each other, there will of course still be differences of talent, focus, and goals. With clear understanding, it should be straightforward to agree clear boundaries of accountability, and to clarify deliverables that they will hand to each other if they do work together on a project.
It can be hard work to get people to be honest to themselves or you, let alone to the person they’re in conflict with. But put the effort in and your organisation will benefit. This is one of the real contributions that only the leader of an organisation can make.
Posted by: Leigh Caldwell - chief executive, 31, male | June 7th, 2007 at 6:37 pm | Report this commentWhy do these two adult men dislike each other so much? The answer is obvious: jealousy. Each feels that the other is a threat. The old guy resents the new guy as he fears he might steal the top job, or some of the limelight. The new guy resents the old guy for being so obstructive.
Posted by: Lucy Kellaway | June 12th, 2007 at 10:37 am | Report this commentThe sibling analogy is just right. In a family, siblings are expected to adore each other and this makes the antipathy worse. In a company the directors are expected to work happily shoulder to shoulder for the greater good of the business, and this can only stoke the resentment and loathing.
If they are the children, you are the parent: you like both of them equally but are driven insane by the endless bickering.
Seen like this, it is no surprise that team building didn’t work. It is like taking your children to a friend’s house for a party and finding that they behave fine. But the minute they are back at home they are at each others’ throats again, ready to kill each other over the contents of the party bags.
The child analogy also suggests that all attempts by you to make things better are more likely to make them worse. When I say to my children, “Shut up! Stop it! I’m going to crash the car if you keep squabbling in the back,” there is no effect. Pep talks are useless too. I take them to one side and plead: you really should be nicer to your sister, you’ve got so many hairgrips and I don’t see why she can’t borrow your hairgrip … no effect.
The very worst thing you can do is ever to be seen to take sides or offer objective commentary on what they are doing. As you (or your job) is what they are fighting over, any interference from you is going to be like pouring petrol on a fire.
There are only two things that work. One is to keep them apart as much as you can. Just as fighting children can’t fight so much if they are in separate rooms, your directors would benefit from having their roles made as distinct as possible. Try to limit as much as you can the number of projects on which they have to work directly.
The other is to lessen the competitiveness between them. What is the succession plan for when you fall under a bus? If this is clear there will be less to fight over.
And if all else fails, you can at least change your attitude to the squabbling. Tell yourself that there is little you can do, and learn how to detach yourself from it. At home I find a glass of wine works well, though at work that might not work so well. Meditation? Yoga?
Get them to swap jobs for 4 weeks.
Posted by: Banker, male, 34 | June 18th, 2007 at 10:21 am | Report this commentStop blaming them for your shortcomings.
You have allowed them to be self indulgent when you should have pulled them up the moment they got out of hand.
Admit it you’re just a little flattered that they’re fighting over you right?
You need to make it absolutely crystal clear what is expected of them, the direction the company is going in and how you intend to get there. By all means involve them in the discussion but ensure they understand it’s your decision, then if they still refuse to work towards YOUR goals then politely ask them if they’d like a box or a carrier bag to put their belongings in.
Posted by: FD | July 24th, 2007 at 6:48 pm | Report this comment