November 6, 2007
‘I’ve lost enthusiasm for my job. How do I get it back?’
I have been in the same job for seven years, but in the last twelve months have started to feel stale and tired and bored and somewhat burnt out. I used to love the challenges of the job but as I get older I find I’m becoming more cynical about the work itself and am also losing respect for my peers and about the people I manage. I also fear that I may be doing my job rather less well than I used to, although no one seems to have noticed anything. Indeed, my bonus last year was the biggest I have received to date. I could go and work for another company, but I think that as the problem is inside me, I’d just be moving it from one place to another without changing anything. I could stop altogether, but I don’t have any hobbies in particular, and in any case I have two young children in private school and am reliant on the (generous) salary. Is there anything I can do to get my enthusiasm back? Or are there any consoling thoughts that make working without enthusiasm more tolerable?
Senior manager, male, 49
Do you remember the movie “As Good as it Gets”. Well that is the sad reality of life for many of us. Some people have the happy gene and some of us have the sad gene. We can compensate for the sad gene spicing up our life: Do something exciting on the weekends. Take up a hobby. Change something! It does not have to be the job.
Posted by: Nelson Ritz | November 6th, 2007 at 4:22 pm | Report this commentyes, imagine not having your job and not being able to pay your bills due to the impeding depression…
Posted by: mavis | November 6th, 2007 at 4:33 pm | Report this commentI know the feeling. I’m feeling the feeling. But for me the answer is shake things up a bit - move on to a different pasture. Knowing what each day holds, seeing the same people, same work, same little problems - the monotony is enough to drive anyone to the brink. Great weekends are great - but they can’t compensate totally for dull work weeks. So I agree with Nelson above - but suggest that changing your job is a good place to start.
Posted by: Ricky | November 6th, 2007 at 4:55 pm | Report this commentImagine you are 65 and looking back over the past 16 years… How do your family feel about you? Did you do what you wanted? Did you achieve your goals?
Now is the time to reset your lifetime goals and give yourself something to aim for.
Alternatively, life’s a bitch and then you die.
Posted by: Doug | November 6th, 2007 at 5:19 pm | Report this commentThe options aren’t only stay or go. Have you thought about taking a sabbatical? It sounds like you probably have the cash for it. A little time away might give you some breathing space to assess what it is you want out of life and work. Also, when you’re having this time off, you just might find that you miss work and want to get back to it.
If that doesn’t sound appealing, one way of topping up on enthusiasm is to think of where you were when you started your career and how far you’ve come since then. It’s no bad thing to have a generous salary, recognition in the workplace and kids in private school - all at the age of 50. There are some of us still at the bottom of the ladder!
Posted by: Lawyer, Female, 27 | November 6th, 2007 at 5:20 pm | Report this commentI would suggest that this is either a natural temporary lull (or dare I say mid-life ‘crisis’) or it would be caused by your failure to change your job, company or yourself over such a long period. Why was that exactly? Whatever you may think, I have been reading “Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi…and he describes both the feelings you have and how to get out of it. Good luck.
Posted by: Liam | November 6th, 2007 at 5:30 pm | Report this commentDoing the same job for seven years can be a legitimate reason for being bored. Your employer might have a higher opinion of your worth than you do and your employer’s valuation may be sounder than yours. Possibly they want a “safe pairs of hands” dealing with your responsibilities while you want novelty and fresh challenges. Loss of respect for your peers and the people that you manage may be the result of most of you marking time reasonably competently and the loss of respect may be mutual. You need to start making a few waves. Talk to the people that you manage. Ask what they would like to be doing in one to two years time and how they think the company and the function that you manage should develop. Try to work out what sort of new challenges you would like to take on and refine the results of both these exercises into a development plan that you can discuss with your boss. Ideally they will realise that most people, “safe pair of hands” or not, need novelty and new goals and your boss will accept the need to negotiate some change. It is possible that you will gain a reputation for being an impatient, revolutionary, firebrand but there will be a bit more mutual respect around the place and the worst that can happen is that the redundancy pay will cover the school fees and mortgage till you can find other remunerative challenges.
Posted by: Ironybrew: 57, Retired, Male | November 6th, 2007 at 6:18 pm | Report this commentTime to reinvent yourself. Negotiate a sabbatical and go somewhere completely different to learn a new skill. Nothing like being placed in a sitation where you know and so do your peers that you know nothing. That should sharpen you up! Pull those kids out of private school and take them with you, ideally to a different culture. Even if the work environment doesnt do it, the measured turbulence that you will have introduced to home life should give you some new things to think about.
Posted by: Garret | November 6th, 2007 at 7:41 pm | Report this commentget seriously involved in a charity - ideally on the board - your work may be quite happy if you spend a few days a year on it - i found it very refreshing at a similar stage
Posted by: John | November 6th, 2007 at 8:49 pm | Report this commentSOmetimes this is about realizing that you may have reached yur peak …. and this is really the measure by which you are judging yourself. If this is the case look at your other achievements (familiy, kids etc, and see how they judge/lover you. This is the true measure of yourself.
Sometimes it is simply time for a change … in which case change!!
Posted by: marke | November 6th, 2007 at 10:58 pm | Report this comment… and sometimes one should reread and spell check ones blog before hitting the send button
Posted by: marke | November 6th, 2007 at 10:59 pm | Report this commentI’ve been there on several occasions. There’s no point in waiting: enthusiasm does not return. A healthy income without job satisfaction calls for change. My personal best was irritating the senior management enough to get me fired without cause. A risky strategy, and it took five months, but the payoff financed an MBA.
Posted by: Gamma | November 7th, 2007 at 12:19 am | Report this commentI’d try to work with your boss and subordinates to try to put your stamp on the job so you don’t feel cynical about it. If they are not interested in changing for the better, then it’s time to start looking for another position within the company, or maybe working on moving up and make things better. Chances are everyone else is feeling similar but afraid to say so.
Posted by: Rob | November 7th, 2007 at 4:27 am | Report this commentThis man seems to be depressed, since he realizes the advantages he has, yet is unhappy. A case of the male menopause? As a first step he should seek medical advice. He does not seem to have a good work/life balance (no hobbies). Anyway, total job satisfaction is rare, I would guess, as there are always unattractive aspects to any job, e.g. bizz travel now (ever had to go to Khazakhstan or Khirgistan?) is not much fun from what I hear.
A more philosophical, realistic and less hedonistic approach to work would help. “Life is not a matter of doinonly what you enjoy doing, but of enjoying what you HAVE to do” (Goethe). The “you only live once” school may not agree of course.
P.S. In any case, timing is important. The man in question is 49, and with at least a slowdown in the economy in GB/USA coming, he might be laid off anyway, but with severance pay. Why put that in jeopardy?
Posted by: FH | November 7th, 2007 at 8:09 am | Report this commentSome ideas:
Man is a social animal. The problem could stem from the fact that you don’t like your collegues. Are there some you enjoy ? Spend more time with them, get them on the workgroups you are involved in - surround yourself with people you respect and enjoy.
As a manager’s career progresses, life is spent less on concrete projects with a beginning and an end, and more on a a stream of projects, with limited involvement in each. While all the projects might get done, and the boss is happy, the manager’s mind is unfocussed because it is impossible to get into detail on anything, and the manager is left feeling stale. Perhaps get a hobby which forces you to focus: play the piano, or play chess if you like.
We see something we like, we see how to get it, and we believe we will get it if we do things right: we are motivated. Perhaps you need to find something you want: to get on the Board, get involved in a charity. Or perhaps you have to figure out *how* to get it: how *do* you get on the Board ?? Then write the book …
Posted by: Senior manager, male, 46 | November 7th, 2007 at 9:14 am | Report this commentDear Gordon,
I assume you dratfed this letter some time ago and that your recent move to Number 10 is now providing you with a fresh set of challenges.
Posted by: Tom | November 7th, 2007 at 9:40 am | Report this commentGet real. A lot of people are in your situation, probably at 1/5th of your pay, with the kids in a state school rather than private. Some (maybe most) people do boring jobs for most of their lives. Consider yourself lucky. You have no reason to complain.
Posted by: Johnny, the analyst | November 7th, 2007 at 10:13 am | Report this commentI completely understand your loss of Mojo ( having been there a few times myself ). The key to this is understanding what type of person YOU are? Do you enjoy people interaction ? Are you more motivated by data, facts and figures? Do you enjoy technical aspects of your job? Do a quick personality test. There are tons of these on the net some with a humourous tinge e.g. which Simpsons character are you most like? You may find confronting yourself with what you are really good at and enjoy doing will be a revelation. Then try and incorporate these strengths into your working day - enjoy!
Posted by: Jonny the PM ( 42 years ) | November 7th, 2007 at 11:05 am | Report this commentp.s. hugging your wife and kids occasionally also helps remind you what’s really important.
Become a mentor for someone junior in the firm. It might make you feel more useful and give you a different perspective on everything. And do something fun at the weekends - your life does sound quite boring actually (!)
Posted by: Rebecca | November 7th, 2007 at 11:05 am | Report this commentPut things into proportion - and start by realizing that your time at work is only about one quarter of the hours in a week - what are you doing with the remaining 75%? are you happy then?
It sounds like you should go and take up a hobby or study something - anything - there IS life outside work - sometimes life outside work is far more rewarding than the time spent AT work.
The question is not whether there is life AFTER death, but whether there is life BEFORE death.
It is quite possible to reach a stage where you are at work ‘in body’, and somewhere else entirely ‘in mind’.
Posted by: Bruno | November 7th, 2007 at 11:08 am | Report this commentProbably, as someone has just said, job unsatisfaction is only an aspect of an imbalanced life.
So, the first action I’d suggest is acting to add other elements that can help you in fighting your actual mood: religion, interests in family life, social networks, charity, and so on.
Life can give unexpected gifts, but you have to act, now, change something and test.
I’passed through a similar period and, now thatit is finished, I’m more conscious and rich.
Good luck
Andrea
(Male, 45)
Posted by: Andrea | November 7th, 2007 at 11:46 am | Report this commentA few tips from my (similar) personal experience :
Work on a fitness and health regime, if you are not already doing it. Nothing expensive or fancy, can just be something like jogging or basic exercising. You will be amazed at the positive energy from this.
Posted by: Out of the box, 43, Male | November 7th, 2007 at 11:57 am | Report this commentWork on career options. Not necessarily totally off beat, but close to your current job and skillset. The PE world offers a lot of opportunities to senior professionals from all fields, not only investment guys.
Never too late to develop a hobby, and it is possible to do so without being a fanatic at it. You can play golf and never be a scratch golfer.
Look at other meaningful pursuits such as social or charitable work, but only that which really interests you and where your skills are useful. You dont need to do this for your CV any longer.
Do things which you may have wanted to do when you were younger but never had the time. Such as learning to play the guitar or trying to write a book.
Lastly, ignore Johnny, the analyst and his ilk of whom the world unfortunately has a plentiful supply. I presume you have worked for your success and money and there is no need to be defensive about this.
Wake up. If your spark is diminishing, do not wait for it to go out completely. Re-invent yourself while you still have the energy. Staying for pay will sap your morale and, whatever the size of your last bonus, make you a candidate for the scrapheap in your employer’s next downsizing. If you’ve done the same “senior manager” job for seven years, this sounds like it’s going to happen anyway. You’re a sitting duck, man - time to fly!
Posted by: Hayseed | November 7th, 2007 at 12:15 pm | Report this commentHave you heard of the sigmoid curve? General gist: your career will climb, peak, then descend. It can do this many times, with each role. The key to continued success is to identify when you are around the peak, but most importantly that you do not let the descent go to far - as after a certain point, it is more difficult to turn back.
It sounds like you are already on the decline and you should seek some professional advice. Right now you seem to be approaching the ‘devil-may-care’ point, which is most dangerous, as many people pointed out - when you are sitting at home watching Oprah watching your savings dwindle with nothing to talk about at the weekends, realizing you have sacrificed a large chunk of your children’s future wealth, you will truly regret it.
By professional advice I suggest some kind of coaching - you need to drill into these feelings becuase once you understand them you will be able to take positive action; going sailing for a year, setting up a non-profit for a year, all sound a lot better than sitting at home for a year when you try to re-enter the job market. If you must leave, get good advice and plan for it. Try this one as an example: http://www.pinstripesandbeads.com/
Posted by: H | November 7th, 2007 at 12:43 pm | Report this commentThe questioner does seem to be a self-pitying self obsessed person. If you’ve got money you can do a lot of the things that many of the people that have responded have advised you do.
Despising the work however is a problem, I presume the job is one in the City not in any worthwhile pursuit adn taht you cannot do anything else. In that case I’m afraid that my Scottish Calvinistic background would say “grin and bear it chum” or as Americans say, if you prefer “get over it”.
The old British characteristics of stoicism, acceptance of your lot and various others of that ilk seem to be long gone.
Many people are poor, disabled, working in extremely routine jobs or are otherwise condemned to a very meagre existence. Sort yourself out!
Posted by: Jimbo Male 58 | November 7th, 2007 at 1:10 pm | Report this commentI empathise, having negotiated this career watershed 8 years ago. I considered all the (valid)options suggested by others who have responded to your letter. If you are quite sure it is your job which is dragging you down - and not personal or deep-seated emotional issues - then I do not think you can compensate by anything you do in the way of holidays, hobbies or jolly weekend pursuits. Work is a big part of what we do to give meaning to our lives, and two days / week can never compensate for the other five. Even though you cannot spot any passion right now which may inject new meaning that is hardly surprising when you are at such a low ebb. It may hurt financially to take some time out until you can see things clearly again, but, in my personal experience, the apparently “easy” alternative - simply just hanging in there - will take it’s toll of your health and your family life before long. In fact, I’ll bet you’re a thoroughly miserable sod to have around the house right now! But seriously - if your family love you, they will take the financial strain while you recharge your batteries and reconsider the way forward. Ultimately, you will find fulfilment, and they will reap the indirect but considerable benefits. One last comment - another correspondent suggested a sabbatical. This is not a bad idea, but think very hard about whether you can see yourself wanting to go back to the same challenges / problems after a 3-6 month break. I may be speaking out of turn here, but from the feelings you describe, I think it may be too late for that option. Believe in yourself - and Good luck!
Posted by: Dr David | November 7th, 2007 at 2:00 pm | Report this commentThis sounds like a classic mid-life crisis or more general depression. The human condition is such that we never seem to be happy with what we have. You need to figure out what’s genuinely important… your wife, family etc. If you lose them you’ll genuinely lose everything. A job is just a job and at least yours pays well. I’m only 30 but I’ve hit the same crunch, after 4 years in the same senior role (and very well paid) I was miserable. I did change my job entirely to become very people focused… but the mood fix was VERY temporary (about 2 weeks), the real problem is/was my personal life (I broke up with my girlfriend last year) so you should explore all the reasons for your unhappiness - maybe it is your job but it’s more likely to be an overall lack of life fulfillment
Posted by: Broker | November 7th, 2007 at 2:23 pm | Report this commentHave you thought about simply ‘Counting your blessings’?
It is always easy having the mountain top experience (the newness of a job or a relationship) but the testing steel that forges character is living in the valley, (the banal every day working).
Seven years is when most things falter, remember the seven year itch or seven years of famine then seven years of feast?
If you grit your teeth, brace yourself and drive straight through, you will come out less scathed than just changing your job, for if you do one thing is certain, without doubt, it will happen again.
We cannot change anyone else or their actions but we can change ourselves and our reactions their actions.
They say that the best way to hold onto someone or something is to ‘let go’.
From what you have written indicates that you want to hold onto your sanity and not be a slave to depression.
If you are a person that likes to control others (I am not suggesing that is the case) but if you are and you let go you will find your lost ‘Free Spirit’.
Sadly those that control always end up one way ~ being controlled. Peace of mind is elusive.
I have read some of the other comments and perhaps, as suggested, it is simply hormonal (mid life crisis), but if it is where better to go through it than with people that you know (even if they irritate or bore you!)?
How many times have you heard people rue dreadfully that the left something or someone simply because of a mid life crisis? The grass always looks greener but in reality it is only so because more manure has been spread on it.
Hope things work out well for you.
Sincerely
Anne
Anne.Kent@talktalk.net
Posted by: Anne | November 7th, 2007 at 3:14 pm | Report this commentFirstly, seriously consider getting a life outside of work. It’ll give you a different perspective. You don’t need a hobby, just an interest in life for life’s sake.
Secondly, it sounds like you’re good at what you do and need to move on and up to get the challenges back. Seven years in a job is 4 years too long, get out and go up.
Finally, reduce the cash dependency it’ll give you more flexibility.
Posted by: JB | November 7th, 2007 at 4:29 pm | Report this commentWhy not take up some outside pursuits? You could learn a new language, take up a new sport, get involved in a charity, take up a new musical instrument etc etc. I appreciate you have a family and other responsibilities but taking a couple of hours out of your week could be refreshing.
To be honest, I’m amazed anyone could last ~25 years in the workplace and 7 years in one job alone without getting bored before now. For me the “is this it?” stage at work arrived about six months into my first graduate job but maybe I just have a low boredom threshold…
Posted by: MB | November 7th, 2007 at 4:32 pm | Report this commentI would suggest reading a book called “What colour is your parachute. It really helps you to get a better grasp on what you are good at. It is not only for job seekers but also for people who are considering a career change. I read the book and put it down for a year or two. When I finally realised that I had to make a change I read it more earnestly and did the exercises. Bottom line - do what you enjoy and you will be successful at itt
Posted by: Brian | November 7th, 2007 at 4:44 pm | Report this commentI felt like this a number of years ago at age 52. My solution was to put my head down, grit my teeth and get on with things. Result? A complete breakdown which meant I had to step down from my position, lost all my personal esteem and took six months to get back to some semblance of normality. I took early retirement, then set up a small consultancy and worked on a part tme basis for several years until I finally retired completely. The loss of salary, position, esteem and self worth was horrid but the experience of complete mental breakdown was frightening. Now I take delight in simple things and am just glad to be as back to as normal as I will ever be.
Posted by: Bert | November 7th, 2007 at 4:50 pm | Report this commentIt sounds to me as though you are about to pack in the job , the salary etc and strangely that ” near nothing to lose ” status empowers you You need a boost and the best way to get it at your age is a fling with a younger woman ( or man ?). At worst when you are found out there will be a bit of a tough time for you at home but she probably wont kick off too much ; just say you feel like packing it all in anyway and if she gets legal you will(she knows that school fees have to be paid here )
You dont sound terribly exciting ( or rich ? )so unless your very handsome you may have to pay for it That complicates things but it should still be do-able safely especially in London
Posted by: j mexican | November 7th, 2007 at 5:29 pm | Report this commentIf you want perpetual internal happiness, I recommend a nice vice addiction, or an affair with a sassy young lady.
Posted by: Brian Hoadley | November 7th, 2007 at 5:35 pm | Report this commentEver thought about self-employment? If your skills lend themselves to some sort of consultancy work this might be the shock to your system that you need to bring the spark back.
I did this four years ago and I find that I’ve shed the corporate baggage of policies, systems and processes, and most of the other aspects of working which unproductively drain one’s energy, and retained the core elements: finding customers and delivering what they want.
So get yourself paid off, and start living again!
Posted by: Bill Blakemore | November 7th, 2007 at 6:34 pm | Report this commentEmigrate…
Posted by: Fannie, 37 | November 7th, 2007 at 9:19 pm | Report this commentHmmmm. Seems that I have heard of this problem before……. Have had it and heard others have had it. Couple of thoughts;
Posted by: Been there, 54 years | November 8th, 2007 at 1:40 am | Report this comment1. Ask yourself “What do I want to be doing in 10, 15 years time? (whenever important to you)”. Then ask yourself why you are not there already and what you need to do now to get there. One question to help; What do you want on your gravestone? “Here lies Senior manager. He……….” Some people may like “…was a great family man”, others “..climbed mt Everest.” Then head the direction you want to end up.
2. If work is important - 7 years is too long. Have a frank conversation with boss about where you going in you current employer. Prospective employers are generally more appreciative of your skills than current employers. So if the answer is “You are at your peak”, then find someplace else, if possible.
3. WRITE down you list of advantages and disadvantages, then your realistic options. Then be realsitic about your possibilities. You may need help to come to terms with your reality OR you may find logical reason to “go for it”.
4. Long ago you may have started working with a strong set of goals and unlimited but poorly defined professional ambition. As you get older, the job satisfaction myth wears a bit thin and you are forced to accept compromises about your ambition. Your original goals may no longer be valid (or wanted) but you may not yet know what exactly are your new goals. Only time and active research will get you that/those answers. Look for case studies of men with similar thoughts - you are not so unique as to be the first to have these thoughts - indeed most of us jump through the same hoops.
5. If your marriage is sound, involve your wife in your discussion/thoughts. There is probably no one else in the world with the same knowledge of you, wisdom or good will. You may improve your marriage by so doing, as she may want to see that you are not so stuck in your ways and open to change (with her). She may also be having the same thoughts about HER life and the job satisfaction from being a mother/wife may not be as strong as you assume - maybe she wants to work out a new joint direction with you.
PS - I belong to the “one life” school. Answers like “get over it” wont work for me unless I dont have an alternative. Many people like others to share their sinking lifeboat. I.e. If I had no choice, I dont want others to make me feel inadequate by finding another choice.
Good luck
Quit and start a small business. If it works out then you have solved your problem. If not then you can go back to your current line of work in a year or so and appreciate it for what it is
Posted by: Male banker (40) | November 8th, 2007 at 7:15 am | Report this commentDo a SWOT analysis.
Posted by: Nas | November 8th, 2007 at 9:28 am | Report this commentDo a SWOT analysis.
Posted by: Nas | November 8th, 2007 at 9:29 am | Report this comment.. I have heard worst that that, you are not doing so bad (yet);-). Ok, now try to highlight the positive things in you life, as well as in your job. you think that when things go bad they are bad, and when they go well, it is just normal… well it isn’t! it is extraordinary that you got a bonus, that you have people to manage and that they respect you so much that they don’t even see you are not in shape these days… take 10 minutes a day and learn to apreciate (your) life… more, this should be your hobby!
Posted by: luca | November 8th, 2007 at 9:36 am | Report this commentWhy not emigrate, although you might be a bit old at 49. However, your children would probably have a better future? A cousin of mine was laid off in the USA and went round the world to look at possibilities, finally settling in Oz.
If I was going to “emigrate” I would want to avoid high-tax locations at all costs - and would go to another canton in Switzerland which has announced that it is adopting a flat-rate tax of 1,8 percent.
Posted by: FH | November 8th, 2007 at 10:20 am | Report this commentAgree - do a SWOT analysis … but after you have read “What colour is your parachute”
Posted by: Brian | November 8th, 2007 at 12:40 pm | Report this commentI had a similar experience earlier this summer and was thinking about leaving my job if for no other reason than the cliche that a change is as good as a rest.
What helped me get over it was talking to a friend who was thinking of moving to my firm.
She’s a close friend and so of course I had to be honest about what no longer enthralled me. But I also had to be honest about all the positive aspects of the organisation and that led me to revisit why I took the job in the first place. It was a helpful reminder, because all of those reasons still apply.
So my advice is, try to get involved in recruitment. You may start to believe your own hype.
One question: was there anything that prompted your drop in enthusiasm? Mine was prompted by envy, when I saw someone I knew make a tremendous success of a job I had turned down.
Posted by: Female lawyer, 34 | November 8th, 2007 at 2:41 pm | Report this commentHave you thought about having another child? That’s a tried and tested formula for women in this situation.
Posted by: Claire | November 9th, 2007 at 3:30 pm | Report this commentA few extremely-blessed souls have professions which provide a generous income as well as weekday fun, sense of purpose and sense of fulfilment.
The rest of us have on the one hand a job which merely provides an income, and on the other hand a loving wife, healthy children, genuine friends, a hobby and perhaps charity work to provide the rest.
Posted by: J Michael, private banker, 38 | November 9th, 2007 at 11:42 pm | Report this commentSuccess to work is like love to life; it makes the latter tolerable. Some shinning success fools even the smartest and cynicalist because they are smart enough to let themselves in.
Posted by: Ecila, a law student | November 10th, 2007 at 5:25 am | Report this commentSuggest check THYROID status & TESTOSTERONE level.
Posted by: MBBS | November 11th, 2007 at 1:00 pm | Report this commentIt’s tough when you get up in the morning and can’t remember what it’s like to bounce out of bed ready for work isn’t it?
Posted by: WM | November 12th, 2007 at 2:12 pm | Report this commentA mentor of mine advised me to do several things:
1) write your own obituary - it’s mad but it will highlight the things that are important to you and what you would like to be remembered for. Read it and then work out how much of your current lifestyle fits that profile
2) write a day in the life of your job when you really enjoyed it, or what you would like it to be
3) each week, make a small adjustment to your current role to edge it closer to your ideal job…after 52 weeks of small changes, you may find that you’re closer to what you really want from work, and further from boredom.
If some of this resonates rather than appalls, check out “Are you ready to succeed” by Srikumar Rao. I’ve since left a career in investment banking that thrilled yet exhausted me, for a different part of the industry where I have a far better work life balance.
I can remember trying to turn the damned alarm clock off but bouncing out of bed was considered to be grounds for divorce.
Posted by: Ironybrew: 57, Retired, Male | November 13th, 2007 at 1:53 am | Report this commentIntroduce a fight club into your work. Nothing like beating some fat ass loudmouth from Accounting to perk you right up!!
Posted by: William Safire | November 13th, 2007 at 5:18 pm | Report this commentI just went through that phase, and I moved on to another job. But before making the move, I asked what were the exact reasons in my current job that saddens me. Conclusion was the assigned roles and the organisation structure (which sucks me into a complex political situation).
Posted by: AT | November 14th, 2007 at 2:29 am | Report this commentThough I am moving on to the same field, but knowing I would be taking a different role excites me, as I would be out of my routine. Getting away from the complex structure assures me that I will not face the same problem as I am facing today.
So maybe can start thinking what particular reasons make you unhappy, and what solutions could there be to each of these problems, before making the final decision.
So you have lost your enthusiasm for work? There’s a club for people like you, it’s called “everyone”.
Why on earth would you want your enthusiasm back? By recognising that your get up and go has got up and left is the first step to freedom, my friend. Cynicism is under-rated. You can never be disappointed, surprises can only be to the upside, you banish those emotional highs and lows.
You have moved from a phase of optimism and come crashing down into a phase of realism. If you are enthusiastic and optimistic again you will only be disappointed a second time when realism comes knocking on your door again.
Enjoy the feeling of liberation, keep pocketing that bonus and find some other motivation in your life outside of work.
Enthusiasm is like your appendix - you know whether or not you have it, but no-one can quite figure out its purpose in modern life.
Posted by: Ian | November 14th, 2007 at 3:28 am | Report this commentmaybe you should be like 1000’s others and start your own social network?
Posted by: florist in melbourne fl | November 14th, 2007 at 3:51 pm | Report this commentI’d suggest a stepwise approach:
Posted by: ruth, physician, age 39 | November 14th, 2007 at 6:37 pm | Report this commentStep 1: consider whether your waning enthusiasm is only your problem, in other words, could it actually reflect a syndrome of inefficiency in your company, which heralds crashes or is it that you have outgrown the job
Step 2: if you have outgrown the job, plan the steps to increase your responsibilities and delegate the more routine tasks to junior personnel
If the company is heading down, then change jobs before you need to - you will be more flexible
I have been in my job 18 years and I often have bad days when I cannot bear it and am bored stiff. But I love my life and I love my salary!
Posted by: Essie, female, 41, linguist | November 20th, 2007 at 2:50 pm | Report this commentTake up mountain biking in the summer and skiing in the winter. Then put it into practice in the office…
Posted by: John, male, 46, investment manager | November 20th, 2007 at 4:07 pm | Report this commentHaving changed jobs at 42, either you are
[A] in a profession where every further move means another 20~30% raise,
or
[B] you left the previous company on unfavourable terms thus are fortunate to find another which pays generously enough for you to have stayed for seven years.
Barring a third possibility, haven’t you all the information you need for a proper perspective which would be requisite to a wise decision?
Posted by: HKLivingston, 25, investment banker | November 21st, 2007 at 5:09 am | Report this commentJob is but a means of which to earn the money you need to take care of the roof over your head, food to eat and all the emenities that are the trappings of your life.
Posted by: Eric | November 25th, 2007 at 4:55 pm | Report this commentYour life is broken down into things, job and family. Balance is what you need, find your focus in your daily life. Families change, don’t miss out, work is always there if you do you best, things come and go, but families are aways dynamic.
The up a hobby, walk in the country and take trips with your family memebers.
Here’s a plan,
why not buy yourself a big motorbike, get a leather jacket and make a fool of yourself with a fit young totty?
People will just tut and say - “he’s having a mid life crisis” but you’ll be having a great time.
Posted by: FD | November 26th, 2007 at 6:44 pm | Report this commentYour age is the giveaway. You are reaching the stage of life where it’s no longer enough to be competent and successful, you need meaning.
You have two options:
* a fundamental change of direction, probably for a much lower income, or
* recognise that work isn’t everything. Enjoy the things that money can buy, but seek satisfaction in other activities.
Posted by: Alastair Dryburgh | November 27th, 2007 at 10:29 am | Report this commentGo back to basics, go to your values. What will make you enjoy your job? What are you missing now to enjoy it? Then you can either try to get what’s missing in existing job or existing company (another project, another possition, another boss). Or you will start to look for another one. But you will know exactly why you do it and what are you looking for. Generally, you are lucky to have a job with generous salary to be able to support children in private school. Well, I would not recomment to endanger this only because you are bored. So, think what are the important values for you.
Posted by: Jarca | November 28th, 2007 at 11:07 pm | Report this commentRemember,
Work = Money to Buy Freedom of choice
Whatever it is the choice (way of living,education kids,leisure,travelling or spare time)
You made your choice (wealthy living and private schools) and involved your family to that boat.Now you must drive all your family to the dock, and don’t jump in the middle of the sea,
Regards
Posted by: alf | November 30th, 2007 at 12:54 pm | Report this commentAlfredo
You got all the good advice you need. Just the fact that these many people can identify with you (meaning this is a normal feeling), and wrote well-thought out suggestions, should boost you up.
Posted by: loveyoudad | December 12th, 2007 at 6:29 pm | Report this commentNow ask yourself, would you take the risk of changing/ quitting job if you did not have kids in school? If yes, then they are your biggest worry, as would be mine. And here is a perspective that can help. My dad was hardworking guy with very succesful career who worked till his last day before he was hospitalized. He loved some aspects of his job and hated others and was miserable at times. Mom asked him to retire, but dad felt he had to keep making money. He left me some money, which I don’t need because I have already done reasonably well for myself and have a lot more than the inheritance. But I do wish my dad enjoyed his last days and spent a lot more happy time with us traveling and talking, trying to understand who we are and what we want etc. instead of assuming money is the best thing he can give us. I love him and miss him even 8 years after he passed away prematurely. I am selfmade and proud to know I achieved it all without standing on someone’s shoulder. If your family loves you they will want you to be happy more than anything else and support in any decision you feel you have to take. Your kids will do ok if you love them and teach them the basic values of life. Kids are more mature and tough and good friends if parents will let them be. I did not need much help from my dad but I wish he got to know me better instead of worrying about his stupid job and I wish he was here today to share my success and happiness.
Thought I’ll add to my above comment, in case your kids are girls and you think they are fragile, will not be able to take care of themselves, I am the younger of the two girls in my family.
Posted by: loveyoudad | December 12th, 2007 at 6:42 pm | Report this commentYour life seems like a dream to a large number of people who are not succeeding. Good pay, healthy children getting good education and etc. The first thing I’d suggest is to look around and see how much you have done for you and your familiy. Everyting is a matter of the way you look at it. Being more, let’s say, philosofical and quoting the best film ever “The Thin Red Line”: “a man looks at a dying bird and thinks that there is nothing but unanswered pain. But death’s got the final word. It’s laughing at him. Another man sees the same bird and feels the GLORY. Feels something smiling through it”.
Posted by: Miori | December 13th, 2007 at 10:18 pm | Report this commentHello,
The predicament described seems to be universal and not all of us have the means of escaping it. It is sad that we have to carry these burdens especially if there is such a strong desire to escape it. There seems to be many “practical” things which can be done to change this situation. Where it is not possible to escape it seems that stoicism and resignation is required without being defeated and holding on to joy while it is being drained from you.
It is sure not easy to be part of the great capitalism system, but perhaps it is a sort of price to be paid for being able to participate. It is also important to draw a parallel to life in general which is not only sweetness and light.
Thanks.
Posted by: manwq | December 16th, 2007 at 4:18 pm | Report this commentYou sound as if you have a touch of ‘weltschmerz’…happens to us all from time to time but you have at least recognised that you need to do something about it.
You have a material position that many would envy but you still need to invest some time in things that are not work/money-related, and will give you a different kind of personal satisfaction. I’m thinking of outside interests and perhaps your relationship with your wife (and children).
Go trekking somewhere amazing, volunteer at a local sports club or charity, learn a language (and use it) or take up parachuting….above all leave your comfort zone!
Hopefully you may find that you regain enthusiasm for lots of things, not just your job.
Posted by: GLH | December 21st, 2007 at 2:54 pm | Report this comment