January 31, 2008
‘How do I salvage the situation after an uneasy business expense?’
I recently submitted an expense report following a routine trip to Frankfurt. Instead of attaching the total bill, I mistakenly attached a fully itemised printout. Unfortunately, this was returned to me, copied to my boss, with one item – “Private Room Entertainment: Adults Only Movie” – highlighted as an illegitimate business expense. I ordered the film more out of curiosity than habit and am usually meticulous over my expenses. I work in the finance department and am a loyal and trusted employee. The form was seen by my secretary, though, and I am anxious that it may become a topic of conversation with her lunchtime colleagues. How do I salvage the situation?
Manager, Male, 43
Lucy’s Answer
I can guarantee that even as you were e-mailing me the details of this sorry problem your secretary was in a huddle with her lunch companions laughing about it. Yet equally I bet she has stopped by now. There is only so long that one can go on laughing at the fact that someone has watched a porn movie in a hotel and tried to put it on expenses, as it really isn’t all that funny – or that unusual.
Some US studies show that 70 per cent of men look at porn once a month; about 15,000 movies are made each year and it is a wonderfully profitable line for business hotels.
It’s telling that you don’t seem at all worried about your boss’s attitude to this – perhaps because you assume that he watches them too?
The only way in which this could damage you is if your secretary thinks you are a creep already. Then she can refuse to let this die. But in that case the movie is the least of your problems.
What interests me more is your attempt to shirk any blame. You say you only watched out of curiosity. You say how well-respected you are and how honest with your expenses. Your protests aren’t terribly convincing. I suspect you are just averagely backsliding – you sometimes watch porn, and sometimes put in very marginally padded bills.
Perhaps you can take comfort from the fact that your expenses system is working well enough to pick this up. Once you’ve paid I suggest you forget all about it and concentrate harder on being the employee you think you are already.
As a PS, I’m slightly surprised that the hotel put this on the bill – they are usually more discreet. Be grateful they didn’t go the whole way and write the title of the film on the invoice. That really would have given your secretary something to laugh about.
Move to an organization that exhibits a sense of proportion or even humour and concentrates on achieving something. Try to fit in.
Posted by: Ironybrew, Male, 58, Retired | January 31st, 2008 at 3:49 am | Report this commentJust tell them what was the movie about – since it is the only thing that bothers them anyway!
Seriously, I trust that everyone should have at least once seen a porn movie (or as you put it – adult only) - so it is not a shock to anyone your age.
However don’t be too detailed – it will give an impression of a thorough porn specialist – and this is not the impression you want to make!
Posted by: Cyrill KALITA | January 31st, 2008 at 5:19 am | Report this commentDo everything except (1) confirm it or (2) deny it. Why? Especially in office situations, if there are two ways to interpret actions, words etc, (i.e. benefit of doubt, or, guilty as charged) then 80% will assume the most uncharitable interpretation. Whatever you say will not change that. Because people like to gossip, then you provide that service today. Its pretty trivial really and will be forgotten next month.
Posted by: Shane Jak | January 31st, 2008 at 6:16 am | Report this commentYour options; get a thicker skin, laugh it off and dont either complain or explain. Take it on the chin. Re career; a mature manager will take no notice of this. His/her opinion will probably not change unless he/she has extreme views. Good luck.
Try being meticulous about business expenses always instead of just sometimes. And as a meticulous person, you should be delighted that the system picked up what you clearly regard as an illegitimate claim yourself since you regret not covering it up better.
Posted by: Ian, 43, male, University Reader | January 31st, 2008 at 8:22 am | Report this commentBe ready to wear a nice face when someone would present you with such a movie on yr bithday.
Posted by: Sergio, 37 | January 31st, 2008 at 8:27 am | Report this commentIf you are the creepy guy in the corner, consider your career at this employer over. If you are part of the ‘in crowd’, you can laugh it off at the 19th, after a tough round with your seniors, retelling it as terribly embarressing mistake but embellished with positive spin, such as how your secretary is now giving you the glad eye.
Posted by: Mr T, 35, Director | January 31st, 2008 at 8:54 am | Report this commentHow do you salvage the situation? You can’t. Any action you might take will only draw attention to your embarrassment and make things worse. The time it will take to blow over will depend on your image in the office, but given that you haven’t been caught having an affair with the postboy, it’s hardly going to run and run unless you add more fuel to the fire and do anything than show mild remorse for being careless and inadvertently claiming for a non-business expense. Be grateful that it is 11 months till the christmas party and it will be long forgotten by then.
Posted by: Matt, 33, Investment Director | January 31st, 2008 at 9:20 am | Report this commentMention that you really should not have charged it, but could not resist watching it because you were actually the male “star” of the movie (you’re allowed to have a hobby, aren’t you?). Either you’ll be fired immediately, or your male colleagues will be awed, or both. Expect attention from some of your female colleagues.
Posted by: John | January 31st, 2008 at 9:22 am | Report this commentEasy. Just lie and tell them it was a slash and gore horror film.
Posted by: Oliver | January 31st, 2008 at 10:07 am | Report this commentGiven your position and department within the company, not to mention the nature of the item on your expense claim, you should take in your stride whatever divine “punishment” is meted out. If that punishment is severe embarrassment, then so be it. I have no sympathy for you.
Posted by: James | January 31st, 2008 at 10:19 am | Report this commentI’d start thinking about a move. Will you ever be able to live this down?
Posted by: PJ | January 31st, 2008 at 11:23 am | Report this commentAs a manager I’ve also sent back expense reports with “film” highlighted and refused to pay. It’s not the content it’s the principle.
Director, male, 53
Posted by: andy | January 31st, 2008 at 12:00 pm | Report this commentYou’re kinda bunched really, as office gossip will ensure that the story not only spreads but also grows legs. Instead of watching a soft-porn flick in the comfort of your exec suite, you will become known in whispers as the person who had the hookers in his room while on a business jolly. Not good. Options are to:
1. Cut you losses, bale out, and hope the story doesn’t travel with you.
2. Come clean to your boss, apologise and take it on the chin (this won’t stop the office gossip though, but hey, time’s a healer and they’ll soon forget, won’t they?).
3. Embrace it, laugh it out and stick up a set of pink furry dice in your office/work space. Only works if you’re not already considered a loser or even a regular guy in the office.
Basically, unless you’re the tall, athletic, good-looking, confident, awe-inspiring, charasmatic type of person, I’d go for option 1. But then, if you were that guy, you’d probably not be in this position.
Posted by: Conor, 37, Male, Quantity Surveyor | January 31st, 2008 at 12:06 pm | Report this commentUnless you work at the headquarters of the puritan society then I think you should chill…
1. You are not (with certainty) the first in your office to do this, you just got ‘caught’ so in that regard any males who know will just think “sloppy”
2. It is not un-natural (although very British to think so) away from home etc. any females will likely just laugh and forget it in 5 minutes - again the likelyhood is that they will at least have seen something similar
One of the points above is good though - if you are already seen as a bit of a weirdo/quiet strange person then this might be bad. If you are normal then it will be brushed off and forgotten - people might even see it as more ‘human’
Posted by: PH | January 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm | Report this commentWell I think you need to follow through. You are in a cleft stick - you obviously wish to present as someone who doesn’t watch porn, whereas in fact you do. Now the shorthand for most of the replies to this piece as I see it is that you can no longer sustain this. Your only option is to own the truth- call it “laugh it off” if you like, but if you are not to be ultimately “the creepy guy in the corner” - you must say “Yes, I watched a porn movie. I was bored. It was there, I was curious. What exactly is the problem?” - and be prepared to find out where you stand in the ensuing debate! It’s an area of social uncertainty - only fundamentalists will not admit to doubt - and you have been plonked in your corner of this particular ring. My guess is that unless there is a particularly unhealthy/delusionary culture in your office most people will back off from taking the other corner and coming out as champion puritan.
Posted by: Pete | January 31st, 2008 at 12:36 pm | Report this commentTake it easy! You watched a porn, in your bleak hotel room, far away from your home… if eveybody gossips about it, you shouldn’t bear any shame.
Next time, either ask front desk to change the heading on your bill, or just get your “sleeping pill” out of the internet, where the choice and quality are of much higher standards than in hotel chains
Posted by: alex male accountant | January 31st, 2008 at 12:45 pm | Report this commentHmn. Agree with all the comments regarding your need to chill out and laugh this off, you have absolutely no choice, do you seriously think anyone will buy the curiosity/one-off angle?!
However, I do think also think there is another issue here…you ‘mistakenly attached a fully itemised print out’ rather than the total bill, given you are usually ‘meticulous’ over your expenses. This implies you could be in the habit of hiding illegitimate business expenses… Not particuarly clever, especially given your position (echoing James) and also since you claim to be a ‘loyal and trusted employee’.
Face up to and deal with the consequences of your actions head on, before someone takes the hard line and deals with you.
Posted by: M | January 31st, 2008 at 12:51 pm | Report this commentYou were on a business trip and decided to watch a porn film out of “curiosity?” How about feeding this curiosity on your own time, and not on company expense. I have no sympathy for you. You made a dumb move and you were caught. When on company expense you’re supposed to behave like a responsible adult, and not like some frat boy who’s staying in a nice hotel for the first time and decides to channel surf in depth.
Of course if your secretary saw the expense she is going to talk. Who wouldn’t? If no one takes action against you quickly, then this will most likely blow over and hopefully you’ll have learned from your mistake. If you’re punished, then too bad, you had it coming. And by the way, have you thought of what would happen to a woman in this situation? Think of the double standards there for a moment!
Posted by: Lorraine, Female Director, 40's | January 31st, 2008 at 1:41 pm | Report this commentYour comments should go like this.
Posted by: ron 55 doctor | January 31st, 2008 at 1:58 pm | Report this comment“bored in hotel room, tried to watch a soft porn movie. God it was boring. Don’t know why people bother. Bloody embarrassing to forget to pay for it separately on my expense claim.”
Then say no more.
If that isn’t enough to get you off the hook, start looking for a job in a place without so many people who need therapy.
Become a naturist to back up your claim of curiosity - you may even enjoy it!
Posted by: Finn, Oslo | January 31st, 2008 at 2:40 pm | Report this commentto deny it or talk about it is to dig yourself an even bigger hole than the one you are in already. And besides, who cares anyway, you’re not a John Major type are you?
Posted by: Djuro 34, IT chappy | January 31st, 2008 at 3:01 pm | Report this commentAsk them “What the hell else is there to do in Frankfurt? You want me to go to such boring places and put up with airline food and Heathrow 50 times a year, you can pay for the occasional porn movie.”
Posted by: Martin, 57, journalist ex-banker | January 31st, 2008 at 3:03 pm | Report this commentYou could claim you had a “fat-fingered” moment and ordered up the porn by mistake but that’s even less believable than that you watched it “out of curiosity.” The real issue here is why are you so uptight? Embrace your inner horndog, dude. Even your assistant, however prim and proper she appears to be, is probably a freak in the budoir. I bet she’s got a vast collection of porn, sex toys, the whole 9 yards. Relax.
Posted by: Lloyd Xmas | January 31st, 2008 at 4:16 pm | Report this commentGo to work tomorrow dressed as a lady. It’s sure to deflect from any comments made.
Posted by: Gordon Ashworth | January 31st, 2008 at 4:25 pm | Report this commentThe hotel violated your privacy. How necessary could it be for it to add such detail? The point is the movie charge, not the content. Your hotel bill says “Room Service”, not “Poached Eggs”.
Your company and you are probably good hotel customers. If it’s still bothering you, let the hotel bail you out of your stupid oversight and certainly in the future, ask them for a separate receipt for personal expenses. Circle the movie entry in question; indignantly in bold ink, write ERROR, adding on the receipt a directive for your secretary to call the hotel to correct their mistake. For your company expense report file, you also can resubmit the amended hotel receipt, After all, when you’re in line for the CEO position, it’s best for your record to be crystal clean.
Posted by: S. fifties, female, U.S. law partner | January 31st, 2008 at 5:36 pm | Report this commentWe all get bored in hotel rooms & watch the odd bit of porn. Laugh it off. Be brave!
Posted by: Essie | January 31st, 2008 at 5:50 pm | Report this commentAs in all such situations follow the advice of Henry Ford II “Don’t complain, Don’t explain”
Posted by: Christian VanSchayk | January 31st, 2008 at 6:18 pm | Report this commentHeh at US lawyer - showing how to fiddle expenses and put the blame on someone less capable of defending themselves! Problem is that the hotel will get loads of people trying to backtrack out of an ill-advised session with TV porn and their software which tracks the usage is pretty accurate. Best leave it well alone, you’ll be the object of some ridicule until someone else does something stupid (and is found out) and by then everyone will have forgotten about you. If you seek to do anything more, this will turn into a real issue for you, and your team.
Posted by: Alea iacta | January 31st, 2008 at 6:28 pm | Report this commentHow embarrassing. Nevermind, there’s a good chance that in the fullness of time it will be forgotten and in any case your secretary may be more discreet than you imagine. Best to ignore it.
Posted by: Dan, 33, PE type | January 31st, 2008 at 6:42 pm | Report this commentIn order to avoid a recurrence, perhaps you have your own collection of DVDs that you can take on your next business trip? Most decent hotels offer a DVD player these days.
If you work in Saudi Arabia, I understand your worries.
Otherwise, I would think that maybe your company is overreacting a little.
Just enjoy doing your job well! That’ll give you pride and satisfaction.
Posted by: coco, 35 | January 31st, 2008 at 7:17 pm | Report this commentDont go making it worse by creating silly excuses You’ve been caught and you are this weeks Goss ; just live with it
Best have a word with your boss as he/ she doesnt want to hear indirectly as then they will look silly
Everyone knows hetero men like looking at naked women so , so what ? Sure they’ll be a few snide comments but they’ll probably be as many colleagues , male and female , in whose estimation you go up as well as down ; which presumably is what they were doing in the movie ?
Posted by: alan mexocan tax inspector | January 31st, 2008 at 7:30 pm | Report this commentWorking in the Finance Department,a loyal and trusted employee and you consider your mistake is not to submit the sum total instead of the itemised bill. Why not ask for a separate bill for private expenses, not chargeable to the company, and pay it with your own credit card there and then.That is what everyone does.It sounds like you have been cheating all along and this time you got caught.The kind of movie is not the issue, it could have been expensive champagne, a massage.It still doesn’t sound irreproachable.
Posted by: Gul, 50s,female, consultant | February 1st, 2008 at 8:56 am | Report this commentYou don’t salvage. If you need to watch porn as soon as you leave home and you are too stupid to hide it then you deserve all the abuse you get. The least you can do is take it in your stride, stop behaving like a woose and get a grip. If you are a creep they all know it already so who cares about a porn movie. Unless it was snuff or involved children or animals of course. Did it? Go on, you can tell us…
Posted by: petra.40.female.manager | February 1st, 2008 at 2:30 pm | Report this commentWhat’s to salvage? While waiting for your flight to Frankfurt your eye was caught by a newspaper article on next month’s Prostate Cancer Awareness Week. Using your laptop and the wi-fi hotspot in the departure lounge you came across a link to the British Journal of Urology International volume 92 p211. This describes the seminal piece of research carried out by Prof Giles and his team which showed that men who use their meat and two veg at least once a day have a 30% less chance of developing aggressive prostate cancer. At home you can make your own arrangements but on this trip you had to splash out on an adult movie. Send the bill back to accounts and demand that they pay it. They offer employees discounted gym membership don’t they? What’s the difference?
Posted by: Greg Wood male 43 gap yearing GP | February 1st, 2008 at 3:16 pm | Report this commentAnd if you are a real schemer, covertly encourage a whispering campaign against you, all the while keeping a meticulous log of the sexist sniggers and demeaning double-entendres. Then, since the prostate gland is a men-only organ, sue the cojones off them for sex discrimination!
Wow, a film! OK, this is not claimable but get over the ego and deal with whatever (slight)embrassment you feel like a grown up and move on.
Posted by: Ian | February 1st, 2008 at 3:34 pm | Report this commentThis is probably not the first time your boss has seen something like this from an employee, so don’t worry about it too much (gossip only lasts so long; if you have to, just laugh it off once and then ignore it).
However, in the future I would highly recommend submitting fully itemized expense reports, just to show your boss that you’re not hiding any expenses like this (since any future total bills from you might make me suspicious). It will also show your boss that the “message was taken.”
Posted by: Odile, 22, female, student | February 2nd, 2008 at 12:19 am | Report this commentUnless you’re employed by a very uptight firm, I can’t imagine that watching an adult film is going to be that big a deal to anyone. Someone might have a laugh at your expense, but it will quickly be forgotten. I would submit a corrected expense report and leave it at that. The adult industry is huge. I would bet that you are not the only customer. COO, male, 45
Posted by: Dan | February 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm | Report this commentThe point is not to fiddle but to accurately reflect the business expenses. It’s both smart and ethical to separate and pay for your personal expenses. Hotels are accustomed to separately itemizing business and personal expenses and processing two payment transactions at the time of check out.
Posted by: S/US lawyer | February 2nd, 2008 at 8:59 pm | Report this commentSimpler answer than any of the above: say it was a film containing violence / a horror film. In many hotels those are also 18+ pay TV.
Posted by: Mark, 41, manager | February 4th, 2008 at 8:32 am | Report this commentFrom my experience, if something like this becomes gossip in an office, it is the type of place where very soon there will be a new story about “her from accounts and him from IT in the photocopy room”. In short, unless you make a big deal out of it, it will blow over soon.
Posted by: Emma | February 4th, 2008 at 5:05 pm | Report this commentThough be prepared for it to rear it’s ugly head around your birthday, Xmas party (possibly) and next time you go on a trip.
Next time, show your itemised bill again, but don’t watch porn to show it was a “one off” (take your own, internet if you get desperate!)
The issue should not be the content of the movie, but the fact you asked the company to pay for the movie. Apologize to the boss for the oversight, pay the bill, and move on.
Posted by: z | February 5th, 2008 at 3:23 pm | Report this commentAs to your secretary gossiping, it is times like this that a history of treating her well will help you. If you have treated her poorly though, she probably already gossips.
If this does get brought up at a party or on your birthday, remember to laugh with everybody, the worst thing you can do is look mortified.
Lastly, don’t use lame excuses, it makes you look like a liar. An honest and trustworthy employee admits their mistakes.
some of the feedbacks here are hilarious! would the owner of this story please revert what actually happend after the rated movie was viewed on the companies pay slip.
However, anything personal is personal. The company should simply list it as personal in everyway…deduct the expense from your salary…you are just a man and if your boss is a 100% mature boss, you are in the right institution
Posted by: Dear Girl | February 6th, 2008 at 12:50 pm | Report this commentI had a colleague who was spotted with his wife, appearing in action in a film about “swingers”. He just carried on doing his job, which he was good at, and over time it was more or less forgotten except for the name we referred to him by - “Caught on Camera” - behind his back. As time went on, fewer colleagues could even remember the incident or where the name came from.
Posted by: Stockbroker, male, 50 | February 7th, 2008 at 7:31 am | Report this commentThe Inland Revenue permits an employer to pay up to £10 a night for “incidental expenses” on a foreign trip, which could include the cost of watching a movie. Check your employer’s policy – if it is in line with that permitted by the Inland Revenue, it might be even that your boss is wrong and that you could claim for the cost of the film as an acceptable expense.
Posted by: Accountant, female, 40 | February 7th, 2008 at 7:38 am | Report this commentThe hotel violated your right to privacy. Assuming your company is a good customer, you should let the hotel bail you out. Circle the movie entry indignantly in bold ink, write ERROR next to it and add a directive to your secretary to call the hotel to correct the mistake. For your company expense report files, you can also resubmit the amended hotel receipt. After all, when you’re in line for the CEO position, it’s best for your record to be crystal clean.
Posted by: Lawyer, female, 50s | February 7th, 2008 at 8:02 am | Report this commentI have no sympathy for you. You made a dumb move and were caught. When on company expenses, you are supposed to behave like a responsible adult, and not like some frat boy who’s staying in a nice hotel for the first time. If you are punished for this, you had it coming.
Posted by: Director, female, 40s | February 7th, 2008 at 8:06 am | Report this commentDo what Alan Partridge did, claim a broken handset and you find it TLB’s disgusting…..
Posted by: Joe | February 7th, 2008 at 12:34 pm | Report this commentWhat exactly is it that you wish to ’salvage’–
Posted by: HKLivingston, 26, investment banker | February 9th, 2008 at 9:19 am | Report this commentA: your reputation as a 43yo who does not watch porn, or
B: your reputation as a loyal and trusted Finance Department manager who does not charge the company for personal expenses?
“Mistakenly”, “unfortunately”, “out of curiosity”, I am not sure whether you are naive or whether you think the rest of us are. You have done this previously for sure, you now look like an idiot, probably even more for the attempted petty fiddle than for the porn movie. Deduct all private expenses from your bills, be transparent, and if you’re embarrassed about seeing “in-room movies” on your bill, don’t watch them. As for work, you have two choices. Tough it out or quit. And grow up. At 43, you really should be able to figure out these things for yourself.
Posted by: James, 56, Partner, Moscow | February 19th, 2008 at 10:18 am | Report this commentBuy or bring along a DVD next time you go away. And bring the laptop to watch it on)).
Posted by: James | February 19th, 2008 at 3:50 pm | Report this commentWho cares? Is your secretary going to be less effective at completing work tasks because she saw something written on a piece of paper that indicates that you saw a movie… Maybe the whole movie line-item was a hotel mistake and really it?s your laundry expense ? I?ve seen this kind of errors. And if it?s not an error, then what?s the big deal?
You should just respond with something along the lines of “good catch, let me correct the expense report and I will resubmit.” Honestly who gives a damn what movie you watched or that you watched a movie at all. The issue at hand is that you submitted an expense report and it contained a non-reimbursable item that was marked as reimbursable. The system worked and caught the error and now you have to correct it and resubmit. I doubt that there will be any permanent damage or jokes about it… no one really cares ? if you secretary regularly reviews your expense reports, then she has probably seen other “interesting” items. If you actually receive reimbursement for the movie, then it may become a problem, because everyone else would want to be reimbursed too.
Posted by: Consultant in US | March 4th, 2008 at 8:40 pm | Report this commentAre you a man or a mouse? Suggest you reply to your boss saying that if business requires you to leave the comforts of home, which include your satellite subscription and wife, then the company should pay for reasonable substitutes. Not only do you expect the company to pay the bill for the movie, but as prostitution is legal in Germany, next time he can expect an even bigger bill. If the expense is deemed a taxable benefit, you expect the company to pay the tax on it as well.
Posted by: Chris | April 5th, 2008 at 12:04 am | Report this comment