July 17, 2008
‘Should I dish the dirt on my boss during an exit interview?’
A month ago I was unfairly selected for redundancy from a job I truly hated. Luckily I received a sizeable payoff and have landed a better job, which I will start in September. I am now having a great time spending money and reacquainting myself with my wife and young family. My dilemma is what to do at my forthcoming exit interview. My head is telling me to be nice, but my heart tells me to give both barrels and explain how over the past five years I brought in most of the deals as my cretinous boss spent the majority of his time getting friendly with the summer intern. Do relationships with ex-employers really matter that much?
Banker, male, 34
Lucy’s Answer
Almost everyone will tell you to obey your head. They will say that alienating an ex-employer is foolish as you may need references or may have the bad luck to cross paths with your boss again.
This is a feeble, cowardly argument. For five long years you have been prevented from pointing out that he is a cretin, for fear of losing your job. But now, not only have you lost it anyway, you are being asked to pass judgment on him. To say nothing would be to do your heart a grave disservice. You should say something: the question is what.
I quite see how tempting it is to give both barrels, but I’m not convinced you should do this. Not because it would be unwise (if one is never unwise, one might as well be dead) but because it may not bring satisfaction.
Picture the interview. You will be sitting in a room with a member of Human Resources who is reading witless questions off a form about your satisfaction with training and so on.
So then you start giving two barrels. Do you feel the thrill of revenge or do you suddenly feel embarrassed, like a schoolboy caught grassing someone up?
To find out, I suggest you do a little role play with your wife, as the two of you are now reacquainted. Get her to be HR and you be yourself. You may find that just playing the game brings release. Or you may find that you go off the whole idea.
If you can find something to say that is a) satisfying, b) true, c) dignified, and d) makes you feel better, then go ahead and say it.
But even if you do, you should not expect anything to happen as a result. Apparently only 4 per cent of companies put the stuff collected at exit interviews to any use.
Never make enemies in business if you can help it. You have made what sounds like a fantastic escape, so enjoy that fact and move on. You just never know when that cretinous boss may end up across the table as a potential client whose business you need. In fact you can almost be sure that if you do dish the dirt, just such a scenario will arise. If psychologically you want to get it all out of your system, write down everything you would like to say in your exit interview. Then when you get to the interview itself you can be non-committal, unemotional and brief. Finally your incompetent ex-boss is probably now your direct competitor. We all need competitors like that - for goodness sake don’t get him fired!
Posted by: Mark, Finance, aged 45 | July 17th, 2008 at 7:54 am | Report this commentI think that is a really silly question. Of course relations with former employees matter. You have to think long-term, switching jobs is a multi-stage game. I remember when I switched banks at the beginning of last year I told my boss working for him had been the greatest experience of my career. There are two things that can happen when you do this. He can offer you more money and beg you to stay, or he will always be a great reference in the future. In my case both happened. In your case the former is obviously not applicable.
The latter, however, was very useful for me this year. I needed to change banks because of a litigation threat, so a really good reference was out of the question at that bank. But, my former boss wrote me a gushing review, saying that working with me had been “one of the greatest experiences of his career.”
There are only two things you can do in your situation: Kiss ass and take names (to put on your CV).
Posted by: Stellan Sjögreen, Banker 39 | July 17th, 2008 at 8:27 am | Report this commentsorry, I meant to say employers. It’s a mistake I make all the time.
Posted by: Stellan Sjögreen, Banker 39 | July 17th, 2008 at 8:30 am | Report this commentYou sell your skills when you want to get a job, not when you leave one. Let them find out about the deals when you are gone and they will miss you.
More worrying is whether your boss, who has a management style that does not reflect yours, is harming the company by crossing the line. If you stay silent, you become an accomplice to the crime.
Posted by: coco, 36, male, COO | July 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am | Report this commentIf you have been unfairly selected for redundancy, then you may have a sense of legitimate unresolved grievance with your employer. I recommend you seek closure on this matter, else it will haunt you.
The parallel in the criminal justice world is a ‘restorative justice conference’ which allows a victim of assault or robbery to explain to the perpetrator the consequences of his/her actions. Often the perp is shocked and offers some restoration. At the very least, the victim gets it off his/her chest. Although employment is a civil matter, the effect on you may be the same.
Your boss’s behaviour is a side issue.
Posted by: Ian Slater | July 17th, 2008 at 9:41 am | Report this commentThe lawyer in me always finds it grossly unfair when cretinous managers are able to maintain their ill-won position because of the complicit silence of their subordinates.
I had the misfortune to work under one of the most inept and unpleasant people I’ve ever encountered in my career; luckily I was headhunted and moved to a fantastic new place. In my exit interview I dished the dirt on him. As a team manager, being able to manage a team is, tautologically, an important facet of his role, and as a member of his team I felt qualified to criticise his performance in that area.
A year and half on, I’ve had no reason to regret doing it.
Posted by: Emily | July 17th, 2008 at 9:42 am | Report this commentI was in a similar situation and decided to “dish the dirt”. To the delight of all and sundry my ex boss was then fired and glowing references were supplied by more senior management who were delighted that I had helped them address a significant problem. In my life, honesty has got me a long way and a businessman without enemies is probably not a very good businessman (more likely he is a flakey salesman!).
Posted by: John, 41, Banker | July 17th, 2008 at 9:50 am | Report this commentI’ve worked in a number of organisations and I’m not sure anyone has ever told the truth in an exit interview. Certainly, no-one in Human Remains conducting the interviews has ever been bright enough or well-informed enough about the interviewee to make the exercise worth doing, so comments are left unchallenged, generalisation are unsupported by any deatil, and you are left to read a load of pointless guff afterwards.
But, given your happy escape, there’s no point either alienating a business you may need to be on side later, or strengthening what is now a competitor by “dissing” your manager, so give them the bland twaddle they need for their box-ticking.
Jan, Partner, 44
Posted by: Jan | July 17th, 2008 at 9:54 am | Report this commentThere is much in the cliche “Revenge is a dish best served cold”.
But if you must do something right now, be clever about it.
Make oblique suggestions rather than outright accusations.
Posted by: TK, Banker, Male, 35 | July 17th, 2008 at 11:04 am | Report this commentI had a similar situation at the start of my working life and decided to reveal all about a truly awful manager who’s only skills where in the art of mis-direction.
Expecting a shrug of the shoulders I was very surprised when the response was “Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?”. It turns out they’d been looking to dislodge this guy for a while.
I might never work with that manager again but his superiors were grateful enough for my frankness to offer me a different position within the business.
Posted by: Gerrard | July 17th, 2008 at 11:12 am | Report this commentI worked for a charity that set much store by exit interviews. Human Non-Resource did nothing with them and filed them. A new director came along and found it a good way to beat other employees over the head. They used what was basically gossip to create bad feeling all round. When I left I refused to do the interview as I did want it to be used against anyone.
Posted by: MB- Accountant 51 female | July 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am | Report this commentIf you have to do it tell the truth.
“Do relationships with ex-employers really matter that much?”
Yes, they do.
Haven’t you ever heard about the quote “DON’T BURN THE BRIDGES, you may still need them some time”?
I have just been made redundant as my company wants to save money by firing the workforce. My temporarily contract expired and they didn’t extend it.
And you know what? I am not bitter - I have been working on and off for this company for last 15 years. And I can go back whenever I want (just not regularly employed, but I can still free-lance) - as I always kept good relationships with the editors and other people. When I was made redundant last month I haven’t got huge pay-check and bonuses, in fact the way the board told me to go was pretty unfair, but I am not thinking of the revenge or whatever.
Why don’t you just shut up, enjoy the prospects of your nice future ahead of you and spend the lovely pay-off you just got with the rest of your family members?
Have some pride and keep the past for yourself (or share it with the mates in a pub).
Posted by: female, journalist, 36 | July 17th, 2008 at 12:28 pm | Report this commentThe enemies you make on the way up may well be around on the way down.
Posted by: George, male lawyer, 55 | July 17th, 2008 at 1:03 pm | Report this commentGrasshopper, banking small street with large grapevine. Play nice, excel at new firm, and get hired back as boss’s boss; far better form of revenge.
Posted by: Alan | July 17th, 2008 at 1:14 pm | Report this commentConsultant, Male, 59
What a silly question. Of course relationships with ex-employers matter. Given how you feel, I would decline the exit interview if possible. If you must participate, I would keep everything in the exit interview neutral. Nothing in your post suggests that you will gain anything from being candid about how you feel, especially since your severance package has already been set. So just enjoy what you have and get on with things.
Posted by: Eric | July 17th, 2008 at 1:51 pm | Report this commentYuo can tell them what you like - as far as references go, Banks have a habit of only confirming the dates of employment and position held. They tend to shy away from official references due to the potential of being held responsible for expressing an opinion on an employee - if your former Boss is someone who you won’t keep in touch with and who is unlikely to give you a favourable personal reference, in that case it might make sense to air your concerns.
Posted by: Nik | July 17th, 2008 at 2:18 pm | Report this comment“Let he who seeks revenge remember to dig two graves.” Chinese Proverb
Posted by: Brian | July 17th, 2008 at 3:08 pm | Report this commentNo.
I tried to drop an ex-’manager’ in it (I wasn’t supposed to be working for them, but they made life more painful than it needed to be for 2 years). I ended up looking a total chump, HR did the whole corporate defence thing and turned it around with the old ‘who has the problem’/'why have you never mentioned this before’ routine. I left what should have been my moment of revenge feeling like a naughty school child.
Still I find myself 5 years into my second spell after returning to the same employer, so I guess the HR people binned my attempted hatchet job as a bit of immaturity…
Posted by: Chris | July 17th, 2008 at 4:50 pm | Report this commentWho says you can only have your exit interview with your direct manager?
Posted by: Christina | July 17th, 2008 at 4:58 pm | Report this commentI left my job a few months back and I elected to approach HR and the most senior person in the organisation (admittingly it was a smaller organisation)for an exit interview with each of them separately. Those were people I respected and who I knew would take any form of ‘productive criticism’ & feedback well (which would not have been the same with my direct LM).
The outcome? Good discussions, praise and the final closure for me….
Good luck !
Keep quiet, let it go.
The experience will upset you more than the boss because idiots can rationalise everything away and you will end up looking guilty. You owe no favours to the company you are leaving - rather you should hope that by saying nothing the company will eventually be harmed by the idiot you mention -and you will make no enemies. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold - and in private
Male director
Posted by: David | July 17th, 2008 at 5:14 pm | Report this commentMale Director
Keep quiet at the exit interview - you never know when this person could have some influence over your career and you can’t control the fall out from what you might say. I don’t accept the view that you are complicit if you stay quiet about their performance. If the conpany really wanted you to rate your manager, you’d get a legitimate opportunity through 360 reviews or some other means. The guys heading for a fall it sounds, don’t be the person holding the knife as you’ll be remembered for it.
Posted by: Ian, 40, CEO | July 17th, 2008 at 5:29 pm | Report this commentIt depends on your organisation’s culture. Do they appreciate good management and openly try to promote it? Will they act on constructive feedback for the benefit of the company? The manager in a team I closely worked with faced a power struggle and was replaced by his team’s team leader (who had been leading a campaign for months of bad mouthing his manager to the team members and his manager’s managers). Soon after he took over the team of 4 (and having proved himself a most annoying micro-manager), one by one each team member resigned in the space of 10 days. They confessed that in their exit interviews they made no special comment other than “they wanted to seek new career opportunities”. In the meantime, this person blamed the bad management of the previous manager… and he set up another group! I don’t think they would have gained much dishing the dirt. The guy had the right “friends” in the firm and would have rationalised anything away anyway. Move on to a new career and draw a new leaf!
Posted by: Female, 30, Financial Services | July 17th, 2008 at 5:46 pm | Report this comment“help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow”.
Posted by: Tottering Gently | July 17th, 2008 at 6:58 pm | Report this commentYou must go to the exit interview. They will interview you with professionalism and courtesy, to obtain intelligence -to help secure their organization from future low-performance employee.
Posted by: read_books | July 17th, 2008 at 8:09 pm | Report this commentIf you were really the guy bringing in all the deals, why did you get canned? Play it safe. Clearly someone’s got it in for you, and the square mile is a tiny place. Trust me, you’ll bump into everyone from the old shop at some point. You sound just a tad pretentious yourself (spending money and reacquainting with the family oh tee hee hee — Have you called mummy and duddy yet?)
Look: Just be cool and avoid kicking everyone in the teeth on the way out. Times are tough and no one likes a whinger.
Posted by: Dave the American | July 17th, 2008 at 9:14 pm | Report this commentDo relationships with ex-employers really matter that much?
I think that the boss and the summer intern are consenting adults and can figure that out for themselves.
Posted by: Longman Oz | July 18th, 2008 at 4:17 am | Report this commentEveryone who responded that it is better to keep quiet about the boss’s inadequacies seems to assume that this means the boss will treat you better if you cross paths with him again. That’s reasonable when you’re dealing with normal people, but it doesn’t make sense to assume that this applies to a boss who makes you redundant after you bring in most of his business.
The word “employer” does not make sense in this question. If the boss is not acting in the company’s best interests, you need to keep straight that the boss and the company are distinct entities.
Posted by: Roy, male, 40, unemployed | July 18th, 2008 at 8:00 am | Report this commentWell, it’s a calculation. How likely do you think it is that you’ll work with this particular boss, and to a lesser extent, this particular employer, in future? If it’s really quite likely (and a lot of industries have a relatively small number of people working in a particular specialised area), and you don’t want to damage your future career, then Be Nice. Don’t lie, but don’t be brutal either.
If on the other hand you think your future employment prospects are secure even if you alienate these people, then dish the dirt.
My main concern though would be that you sound like you’re still really quite angry about it. Giving an honest appraisal of a bad manager in an exit interview may allow that manager to be fired, and may even improve your reputation at your former employer. Giving an ANGRY appraisal, however, may mean your views are given less weight, and may also give you a reputation for being unprofessional. So, if you do decide to be honest, try to keep your emotions out of it.
Posted by: M, Male, 32, Programmer in banking. | July 18th, 2008 at 8:53 am | Report this commentI agree with the prior comments that you should, professionally, make the point about the manager’s inadequacies. If you do it professionally it will not look like (nor should it be) an outright knife job. But in other circumstances, an employee might decide to sue the company - so it’s in their interests to improve his behaviour. I also believe senior managers only get moved out after one thousand “cuts” or complaints against them, so you shouldn’t feel bad. If it ends his job there (now or much later) it’s because many others agreed.
Posted by: Barnet Brockie | July 18th, 2008 at 10:35 am | Report this commentDo people not worry about references these days?
I suspect not. Many people seem to get hired without even the most basic of checks being made. Even the famous Mr Sugar hired an apprentice who had lied on his cv, and the same Mr Sugar is cocky enough to trust his own judgement above that of any referee.
In the unlikely event that someone sees fit to check your references, it might be wise to ensure that your ex-boss makes the right noises. Why not present him with a draft recommendation for him to sign?
Letting off steam in your exit interview might make you feel good for a few minutes. Alternatively you might feel embarrassed in a few months time should you conclude that your redundancy was in fact justified - people who hate their job are not good at hiding it, and companies do not choose to stay with people who hate their job.
Strange things happen in life. I am currently doing an assignment for a guy who fired me a few years ago. We both ate some humble pie and set some new ground rules for our new engagement. Burning bridges in seldom a smart thing to do.
Consider what story you will be telling future employers: “I spent 5 years in a job I hated, working for a guy I don’t respect.” You may well be seen with some justification as a total wimp.
My advice: get a reference and move on.
Chris,55, male, VP
Posted by: Chris J | July 18th, 2008 at 12:22 pm | Report this commentYou sound like you have a grudge against your boss and are looking for sympathy. This is dangerous! If you tell someone what an idiot he is and they DON’T sympathise, you may embroider his inadequacies a bit until they are incredible. You end up frustrated and having to defend your exaggerations.
Posted by: male, 40 | July 18th, 2008 at 3:53 pm | Report this commentYou have not started your new job. Most business communities have very good links informally with others in the same business even though they are competitors. Better to say how much you enjoyed your time, how you would like things to have turned out differently but are looking forward to a new challenge. The exit interview is business, treat it as such and you will be fine. Screw it up and you may find “the network” pulls your new job.
Posted by: Ger, male, sales 47, | July 18th, 2008 at 4:31 pm | Report this commentPersonally I would stay silent but if you have to say something just say that you thought it unfair that your manager sometimes took credit for your deals. Leave out the intern part.
Posted by: RoA | July 18th, 2008 at 5:04 pm | Report this commentIf you really hated your old job and are moving on to a better one, don’t use an exit interview to vent. It looks petty and people will wonder why you weren’t filed earlier. Besides the world is not as big as you may think. People know people and word gets around. You do not want a reputation as a complainer. It might get back to your new boss or to some other firm where you may find yourself in ten years. Be a little gracious and use the interview to compliment yourself, “I appreciate the opportunity to have learned and achieved so much (start list here)” Burning bridges behind you can be dangerous, and there is no harm in being the bigger man by just being civil. It is not like they will fire the cretinous boss based on your interview. Just look forward and be happy.
Posted by: Douglas Scibeck | July 18th, 2008 at 5:05 pm | Report this commentIn life we all will encounter people who expect you to take the burden of their mistakes. Maybe they did not slither there way as far up the corporate ladder as they had hoped? Maybe they feel threatened by your competence? Maybe they want to be the only person lapping up the praise from their own superiors? Whatever the reason(s) nobody should be expected to tolerate being in a negative environment for 5 years.
In essence, dish the dirt (on the proviso it will not have any negative repercussions for you).
Posted by: M. Mann | July 18th, 2008 at 5:59 pm | Report this commentI don’t think it’s an either-or kind of choice. Assuming it’s not the boss himself doing the exit interview then you can communicate criticism and appear professional, perhaps saying you would have preferred it had there been a way to measure what was achieved by the individual members of the team and what by the team leader. If the big bosses are not stupid then they will know what you are intimating. I suspect there are other unmentioned reasons you hated the job, but you can present them in a similar professional way and they will be more effective.
Also, you mention that the boss spent most of his time with the summer intern. Either you are a banker in a Carribean off-shore tax haven or you are exaggerating, because in Britain the summer is not “most of the time” - in fact it usually lasts from 12 July to 15 July, with a break for rain on the 13th and 14th. Be very careful of exaggerating in the exit interview as it will allow others to characterise you as unreasonable. Also, it means your knifing of the boss will be less effective as your words will be converted to the truth at a bad exchange rate (like the US or Zimbabwe dollar), whereas if you are seen as, if anything, holding off a little then your words convert like gold tolars.
Don’t be moralistic about the intern. The presence of women in offices is the main reason why teenage boys stop thinking about becoming engine-drivers and fighter pilots, and get their heads down to doing the study necesssary to get the best office jobs. There are very few adults who have never had a relationship that other people considered inappropriate, either because it was: with a colleague, one partner was taken/freshly single or freshly divorced, it was same-sex, it was with someone from a poorer country who others wrongly thought was visa-hunting, it was interracial, intercultural or inter-class, there was an age gap or there was a power gap. For older people we could add “because it involved premarital sex” to the list. As most people have experience of being condemned by other people, there’s no guarantee that the big bosses will want to join in - especially as they are likely to have had flings with secretaries etc. over the years if the FT problem page is any guide to British office life.
Why be professional? Well even though ex-employers are not as important as everyone says, because nobody dares give a bad reference and it doesn’t matter that you might later meet other people from your old company (because you can’t control what is said about you after you leave, most corporate cultures either condemn apostates or airbrush them from the history of the company). No the real reason is that if professionalism is second-nature then life is easier because you don’t need to analyse future possible outcomes all the time to determine whether or not you are currently in a situation that requires professionalism.
Think about your family - difficult to see an upside for them if you go in with both barrels blazing, but the possible downsides are all over this page.
I agree with what others say that ultimately, the only way to prove them wrong is to be successful at your new job. If you are though, you won’t care about this any more. Pin this page of the FT on the wall somewhere at home and take it down on the day you stop caring.
Posted by: Samec, 30 | July 18th, 2008 at 6:52 pm | Report this commentIf you’re just upset about the unfairness of your past job, then grow up and drop it.
If it’s more serious than that, and this guy was behaving in an illegal way, or a way that compromised the well-being of your company, you have an obligation to your employer to report it.
However, if your employer has done something - like, for instance, make you redundant - that indicates a lack of loyalty towards YOU, then your obligation to report on that harmful conduct is nullified.
That’s the way I see it.
I also think you’re a very lucky man, perhaps too lucky. You have had a good job, you have a lovely family who’s put up with you ignoring them, you have a great job to go to, no financial worries, and a secure future on all fronts.
And yet you are all bent out of shape because you didn’t get enough credit from a company that you are leaving.
That is just pathetic. The long and short of it is: you’re a whiner. I strongly suggest that you devote the energy your spending on this non-issue toward counting your blessings instead.
Posted by: S. | July 18th, 2008 at 7:13 pm | Report this commentI think, there is no point in giving vent to your feelings during your exit interview. Why should you do it now when you know you are leaving and you have a new (better) professional opportunity in front of you?
Posted by: Victoria, female, 30, Communications Analyst | July 18th, 2008 at 9:39 pm | Report this commentIf you have not talked to your manager and clarified the issue once and for all before, when, I suppose, you had many chances to do it, it is not the wisest thing to leave it for an exit interview. Remember, what goes around comes around. Think longer term and move on.
Keep your mouth shut on the way out.
I wish life were fair, but it ain’t. Ya know what, though? The cream does rise to the top.
If it were me, I wouldn’t out and out lie, though. If asked how you got on with the boss, say something like “I learned a great deal.” And you did — such as how not to work for a scumbag, intern-grabbing horndog!
If asked about your time there, say “I grew.”
And you did. You outgrew them, and now you’re on your way to happier pastures.
Good god, boy - you are luckier than most of us. You have a family. Go take them to the South of France or Brighton Beach or wherever it is you overly talented Brits summer.
Posted by: Laurie, age 46, journalist, CT | July 19th, 2008 at 12:38 am | Report this commentYou don’t have much to gain from telling ex-employers the truth, other than getting it out of your chest. They, on the contrary, may derive some benefit from knowing how they are driving talent away (assuming, that is, that your version of the story is correct). This asymmetry renders most exit interviews useless. If, as I assume, the interview is conducted by an HR person, and he/she opens up the topic, you can allude to the problems with your boss and see whether he/she follows up or changes the topic. If not, be economical with the truth. There is no advantage in telling the truth to someone who doesn’t want to hear it. If you really want to get even with your pevious employer, letting them to have someone like your ex-boss seems to be the best revenge.
Posted by: Martin Gargiulo | July 19th, 2008 at 11:08 am | Report this comment1. Why burn bridges?
Posted by: Mark, Deputy Director | July 19th, 2008 at 3:49 pm | Report this comment2. Do you really believe they will take you at heart? You will be viewed as a disgruntled layed off “former” employee.
3. If there really were important issues you should have done something while a regular employee. This is how it will be viewed.
If your boss was doing a poor job, bedding an intern, and getting away with it, it’s because his superiors trust him too much — too much to believe anything bad you say about him. The last thing you want to do after being unfairly fired is stick your neck out in a vain attempt to save your former employer from its own folly.
Posted by: David, 31, engineer | July 20th, 2008 at 3:10 am | Report this commentI think it is very simple. If you tolerated 5 years of having someone else take credit for your deals, then you are spineless. There are lots of banks to work for.
Otherwise, you are not spinless (nor a superstar), but an exaggerating complainer who is mad that he got sacked. And potentially the intern was hotter than your wife.
Posted by: Mark, 24, fund manager | July 20th, 2008 at 6:05 am | Report this commentThe return of the liberal attitude to the affair with the intern only convinces me even more that the only reason we all moralistically condemned the guy on “What should I do about the tense atmosphere in my team” was because he didn’t succeed in getting the girl and therefore a was loser.
Posted by: Male, 30 | July 20th, 2008 at 7:40 am | Report this commentNever burn your bridges - you really don’t know when or where you’re going to meet these people again. They could end up as line management in your new employer, for example…
Posted by: Peter Dunkley | July 20th, 2008 at 5:55 pm | Report this commentIn situations like this, imagine you are on your death bed and you are idly reminiscing about the things that happened during your life: what you said, didn’t say, did, didn’t do, etc. Where would this ex-boss’s cretinous behaviour figure in everything? If you’re honest, he probably wouldn’t matter much. So, just grit your teeth at the exit interview and say a lot about nothing and then head for the nearest pub and have a scotch with ice to celebrate.
Posted by: Mr Angus McFarlane | July 20th, 2008 at 6:08 pm | Report this commentFirst point: one of the main reasons for the exit interview is so HR can decide whether to check a box called “eligible for rehire”. In other words, based on the exit interview the HR representative may prevent the ex-employee from ever being rehired.
Second, another, safer option is to deliver the information some other way than the exit interview. It could be passing it to a trusted contact, or even sending anonymously.
Finally, I don’t know how someone can conclude their selection for redundancy was “unfair”. Were there written rules which applied to this case? Manager’s have many different reasons for “layoffs”, and it is rather common for better performing employees to be laid off, while others are kept. For example, the choice may be made to lay off two higher-paid higher-performing employees instead of three lower-paid workers.
Posted by: Wu Wei | July 20th, 2008 at 11:13 pm | Report this commentBeing made redundent is an emotional time, as your intro indicates, so you must be ‘detached’ from this out pooring of feelings to make a suitable judgement on whether to say something.
As many have indicated dishing the dirt may have a back lash. But, in reality, these interviews are all about getting the lowdown on your former colleagues in order to short list the next round of redundancies.
The fairest approach for your head and heart is to present the facts on the individual and leave out the personal opinion.
Posted by: Mr T, Director, London | July 21st, 2008 at 4:28 am | Report this commentIgnore HR, and compliment your boss on his taste while you try to bed the intern. Who knows? You may find that all the time he had spent with her was justifiable and more satisfying than his work could ever be.
Posted by: Claire, female, model | July 21st, 2008 at 5:21 am | Report this commentCan I suggest you write your “both barrels blazing” feedback in a letter or email, in detail. Make sure you say everything in it you always felt you wanted to. Ask yourself, do you feel better? Repeat until the answer is yes.
Then burn or delete the letter, and go in bland to your exit interview. No good can possibly come of being honest in your exit interview if you’ve not had the courage to do so face to face. You don’t have to lie, but you also don’t have to volunteer information.
If your sole purpose in giving feedback is to get someone else to do your dirty work hard conversation, then are you really any better than your boss?
Posted by: Richard | July 21st, 2008 at 9:44 am | Report this commentWell, I suppose one should ask what one wants. I agree with some of the posters that there is a sort of head scratcher in that 1. you were a top performer, yet 2. you were redundant. Redundancy should not matter if you are a top performer.
Yes, internal politics causes temporary tempering of your career (e.g., cream remaining submerged in the milk for longer than it should) but lets face it, your career isn’t that important. That is, the company will do just fine without you and absolute fairness. So in a sense they could care less about some unfairness.
The company is more concerned with the overall profit margin not whether someone contributes to 0.001 of it and then is a pain in the ass. Now that I think about it, I am not sure if the executives even care about profit margins anymore. It seems like they are more interested in how you can increase their own take home pay … even if the company suffers. But that is an aside.
So, unless you have something more than ‘unfairness’ (e.g., your boss was raiding his bosses desk after hours or sleeping with the VP’s daughter) I suggest moving on with a polite but brief exit interview. I mean, you do want to move on to your new employer who was so smart to snatch you up, right?
Posted by: Keith | July 21st, 2008 at 3:07 pm | Report this commentDon’t bother. As you’ve been made redundant your comments will come accross as sour grapes and will be dismissed. If you were “must keep” high-flyer then that would be a different story.
Tell the truth and nothing but the truth, but not the whole truth.
Posted by: Ian | July 21st, 2008 at 3:14 pm | Report this commentI wouldn’t bother either way. In my experience exit interviews are worthless. Ten years ago I gave it both barrels to a manager that made my life miserable - she’s still there and thriving. These days, I have to request information from exit interviews, most of which is badly trasncribed and hence meaningless.
Posted by: Greg, Managing Director, 42 | July 22nd, 2008 at 9:54 am | Report this commentIts funny. The whole point of the exit interview is for people express concerns. As your being made redundant, any comments made will be seen as a low side swipe even if they are true. If you had left of your own accord, you would be able to express these issues with greater impact. The true issue here is the fact that HR is a pointless layer for the company to control disgruntled employees. They generally are not interested in true issues and any useful suggestions are not taken to the appropriate people. In this case shut up no one will care and more importantly save making an enemy. You have enough in banking without trying to create more for yourself.
Posted by: Charles | July 22nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm | Report this commentI had a similar situation in my last job and similar temptations. However, I kept my mouth shut in the belief that you should not burn bridges. After a while in my new job I realised that a lot of the negative feeling was because I was unhappy in the organization and so was my boss (he subsequently left). Recently I ended up reaching out to him for help on something work-related and we had a very nice discussion. Often bad feelings are a matter of circumstances (particularly where redundancies are involved) and you’ll quickly move on and forget about it.
Exit interviews should focus on processes rather than personalities. Otherwise you will make long-term enemies!
Posted by: Kate, Lobbyist, 32 | July 24th, 2008 at 9:57 pm | Report this commentYou say you were in a job you hated and you have been given a fantastic payout to leave it? Thank your lucky stars. You now now have a better job than before. You are a lucky guy or gal. Stop looking back and start looking forward.
Posted by: carole chapman | July 26th, 2008 at 12:47 pm | Report this comment(I must admit to telling one ex boss at final interview that he had halitosis that would fell an ox but I knew for certain that I would never cross his path again)
No way, do not do it if you expect to make a good impression on the new employer. Remember, your new boss may think that if you say such things about your previous job, you will definitely dish the dirt on him too some day. Yes, it is is quite understandable that you hate previous one and all these emotions are ready to explode. But I personally once realised that emotions in business enviroment always interfere work and relations with the colleagues, especially with the superiors.
Posted by: Anna, 23, female, market analyst | July 29th, 2008 at 6:27 am | Report this commentI was in the second most junior position in a close knit team of 10 when a cretinous fraud of a boss was parachuted in. She was hopeless. One by one the entire team left - the more senior people first. One by one they all promised to say something at their exit interview. One by one they all chickened out. Two months later, when only myself and the junior researcher were left of the original team, I was offered a new job. I was determined to say something…. but chickened out because I didn’t want to damage my relationship with my boss’s boss.
The junior researcher stayed for another 6 months and had a terrible time. her confidence and her faith in the industry was destroyed. I wish we’d had the courage - there were 10 of us, so it shouldn’t even have taken that much courage - to be honest.
Posted by: Victoria | July 29th, 2008 at 9:44 am | Report this comment