July 24, 2008
‘How can I find my voice and speak up?’
I’m a manager in a trading company. My career has reached a plateau largely owing to my performance in meetings. When I’m with a group of people I find it really hard to express my ideas and get nervous before saying anything. I’m very soft-spoken, and can’t project my voice in teleconferences and have to repeat myself. I usually have good ideas and when I discuss them on a one-on-one basis, people like them. What can I do to overcome my soft voice, project my voice and speak up?
Manager, male, 40
Lucy’s Answer
There is only one solution to your difficulty and that is to force yourself to open your mouth in meetings. If you do this often enough the nerves will eventually go away.
Don’t worry if your ideas refuse to be translated into a stream of compelling or even coherent words: press on. However dismal your performance seems to you, others will be obsessing over what they have to say and will neither notice nor care if your brow looks a little sweaty.
Indeed I suggest that you shift the emphasis away from yourself and on to them. Are they such talented orators? Are their ideas any better than yours?
Once you have assured yourself of their fallibility, I suggest you make yourself invincible by working harder on your own ideas. Spend half an hour before meetings working on one or two simple things that you would like to say. (An unbelievably obvious tip, this, yet almost no one plans in advance what they say at meetings.)
Once you’ve thought of what to say, say it. Easy. Or rather, it isn’t easy, but it does become easy-ish eventually.
You can, of course, get professional help, but I am not sure if I recommend it. On your behalf I have been trawling the web looking for good advice, and the only effect this has had on me is to shake my own hard-won confidence as a public speaker. One tip is to mingle with the audience before a speech - a horrible idea. Another is that you practise in front of a mirror, which I’ve tried and can confirm makes one even more self-conscious than one was feeling already.
I also don’t think you should worry about your quiet voice. I have come across people in senior positions who make a point of talking in a whisper so that everyone has to strain to catch every word.
I sympathise with you, public speaking has hindered many people. You’re not the first and you certainly wont be the last. Why not look for a training course in public speaking? Or buy one of those self help books on speaking in public/overcoming your nervousness?
And I know this might sound lame, but practise your speaking habits in front of the mirror. If you’re going to speak at a conference etc, see if you can explain your problem to a collegue or friend beforehand, so anytime your voice isnt projecting enoughm they might be able ot signal to you to raise the volume.
Hope this helps and good luck!
Seun, 32, female, lawyer
Posted by: Seun | July 24th, 2008 at 8:40 am | Report this commentYour problem is more common than you think - I’d be willing to bet that you’re not the only person in any meeting feeling nervous or unable to express your ideas.
My suggestion would be to find things that build your confidence in a non-work context. Take group singing lessons - you will learn about breath control, posture and techniques to help you project your voice without straining it. Once you’ve taken the plunge and sung unaccompanied in front of a roomful of strangers, nothing should faze you.
All this will sound intimidating at the moment, but you have to take occasional journeys outside your comfort zone in order to expand it. It will be the making of you - I really hope you go for it.
Posted by: GLH, female, 30, manager | July 24th, 2008 at 9:26 am | Report this commentWell, this problem should have been solved much earlir…But do not lose hope! The reason is psychological. So you should apply to a professional and attend special training courses. Try to find out, what exactly prevents you from performing well in front of the audience. If you find this main reason, everything will start improving, you will see it.
Posted by: Anna, 23, female, market analyst | July 24th, 2008 at 10:12 am | Report this commentCareers tend to plateau naturally when you pass 40 - organizations are built like a pyramid and there is not much standing room on the top.
I wonder whether you are right to blame your performance in meetings? In my experience, the only people asked to repeat what they said are those rare individuals who might have said something valuable. Most of us mortals have to endure a pregnant silence until the discussion moves on, or even worse, people cut us off before the words are out of our mouth.
I wouldn’t worry too much about your performance. Trying to change now might well give people the idea that you are losing it in some kind of mid-life crisis. Alternatively, your words of wisdom might not be perceived as such when expressed with more force and clarity. Perhaps your colleagues view you more as the “Delphic Oracle” - sounds like a smart guy, wonder what he means? If your ideas are not as good as you think then you may find that improving your public speaking turns out to be career limiting option.
I wonder about your colleagues. Are you working in an environment in which the person with the loudest voice gets the most attention? Perhaps time to move on. Good quality organisations tend to pay attention to meeting discipline so that everyone has the opportunity to contribute. Good managers tend to do more listening than talking and this would seem to suit your personality.
My advice: make sure when you have something to say that it is worth listening to - people will make the effort to understand.
Chris J, male, 55, VP
Posted by: Chris J | July 24th, 2008 at 11:22 am | Report this commentLook into an organization called Toastmasters. They have weekly meeting designed around being able to speak in front of people, gaining confidence and practicing preparing and delivering content. The speaking portion is divided into giving speaches, speaking impromptu, and critiquing others.
Meetings tend to be very supportive, however change does not happen overnight. Expect a one to two year commitment at the very least.
Posted by: BB, Male, 20 | July 24th, 2008 at 2:24 pm | Report this comment“Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.” Oscar Wilde
Posted by: Brian | July 24th, 2008 at 2:27 pm | Report this commentI have the same problem. Don’t expect your company to change. Work on your speaking skills is worthwhile but will only have so much effect if people don’t want to listen. I solved this problem by starting my own company.
Now the others have to listen to me because I’m the boss, a client, or a supplier other companies actually want. This shows the ideas were right. Difficult to know how practical this is for you without knowing what industry you’re in.
Posted by: Samec, 30 | July 24th, 2008 at 5:36 pm | Report this commentThe soft voice is not the main problem - my father was very soft-spoken so when he started to speak everyone else shut up so that they could hear! Other replies give useful hints on how to overcome that but if you cannot express yourself that will not be enough.
Posted by: John | July 24th, 2008 at 7:21 pm | Report this commentWhat you need to do is to marshal your thoughts on each topic before the meeting starts and write them down - if they are really valuable circulate them by confidential email shortly before the meeting starts.
You may initially find your ideas stolen by (an) ambitious colleague(s) but once he/she/they cannot answer a “why” and has to turn to you for the answer, you will start getting the credit.
John, 62, male, consultant
You need to become reacquainted with your inner voice—that clear resonant energy that can convey your true potential to the world outside. This powerful voice is within you and when properly developed will carry you across the plateaus that you find in your way.
Lucy found her Martin Lukes and you can find yours too.
Posted by: Investor, male, 51 | July 24th, 2008 at 9:57 pm | Report this commentToastmasters is highly recommended!
I have been a member for the past 2 1/2 years and can definitely say that it will help you improve your speaking in all the areas you’ve identified. Specifically, the impromptu speaking component of the meeting will be very beneficial
to helping you improve your ability to contribute to meetings and think quickly.
Basically, it’s the continuous practice in an extremely supportive atmosphere that makes the difference and this is what Toastmasters offers.
Posted by: Rani, 28, Female, Senior Researcher | July 24th, 2008 at 10:53 pm | Report this commentI’m a recent graduate of the Royal Academy of Music and am finding success helping people in business overcome exactly these sorts of issues. Particularly effective have been group singing sessions, as GLH points out. A combination of solo work and singing as a group really does build confidence and teamwork.
Posted by: Tessa Grobel | July 24th, 2008 at 11:07 pm | Report this commentFirstly, as we all know, meetings are never the place to exercise new ideas or make valuble suggestions. They are an opportunity for the chairman to tell everyone what he thinks.
The less said in meetings the better. I suggest you no longer even attempt to say anything at all. Just keep doing the one-on-ones as they will produce more and make you look interested.
If this makes meetings boring, then pass the time play ‘meeting bingo’, or, as some very important people I know do, sleep.
‘It is better to say nothing and be assumed a fool, than to say something and prove you are a fool.
Posted by: Mr T, Director, London | July 25th, 2008 at 3:28 am | Report this commentIf one-on-ones are your forte, infuse your perspective by asking questions on key points. If you must speak, get some training, and then picture them sitting there in their underwear. Easier to feel in control when you imagine them so disarmed. That may sound a bit outlandish; yet I have heard it off-the-cuff from more than one public speaking trainer.
Posted by: Alan | July 25th, 2008 at 7:20 am | Report this commentConsultant, male, 59
The nub of the problem is “fear of failure” - you don’t want to be considered a git by your peers, and it is this concern about being judged that traps you.
Getting over this fear is a fantastic thing to work on, and will probably take a while to really make it a non-issue in your carer - there are books, seminars, physcologists etc etc to help you throught this - almost everyone has this to some extent, so their’s plenty of advice to tap into.
My final thought is that your fear will be, to a degree, based on your environment - i bet you don’t hold back when with friends, for instance. My next question, then, is - is your company right for you?
Posted by: Mark | July 25th, 2008 at 9:05 am | Report this commentIf your ideas are as good as you say, claiming your right to put them across is the missing ingredient. Training in public speaking will help with structure and initial practice, but a (secret?) course on assertiveness or negotiation skills might be better value given your wider management role. After that, the only way to overcome your nerves is to force yourself relentlessly to seek and accept every invitation to speak in public. A sweaty nightmare at first, but you will be surprised how quickly your skills develop. Soon you will be chairing the meetings – and remembering to give those with soft voices but good ideas the chance to be heard.
Posted by: John | July 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm | Report this commentJohn. Banker. 48
The previous suggestions are really good with the possible exception of the one saying that meetings are for the chairman to tell everyone what he thinks and meetings aren’t the place for new ideas. I would like to add that you should make a point to sit closer to the speaker phone.
Posted by: JRWJ (military) | July 25th, 2008 at 1:05 pm | Report this commentMost organizations are dysfunctional and care very little for anything not felt to be of “immediate” importance, though today’s obsessions are often irrelevent longer term. And many of the most articulate and charismatic speakers in history have led organizations — businesses, governments, countries, teams, etc.–to disaster. If you’re dissatisfied with the plateau your career has reached, speaking up more “effectively” in meetings may not help at all. What are your natural strengths? Time for a new game plan?
Posted by: Peter Adam | July 25th, 2008 at 1:13 pm | Report this commentLook at yourself in the mirror each morning and say “I am a winner!” three times. Then growl like a tiger and get on with shaving.
Posted by: Rick | July 25th, 2008 at 1:54 pm | Report this commentMost meetings are a waste of time and are called by people who have a specific agenda. More information is conveyed daily in informal training sessions or “hallway meeting” what you may refer to as one-on-ones. I suggest you continue on your course, improve performance in your enterprise, and when promoted due to performance (thus ending your plateau) and when asked how you did it you will have a rapt audience. Good Luck and keep up the hard work.
Posted by: Gary, 51, M, Sr Mgr | July 25th, 2008 at 2:05 pm | Report this commentYou’re probably taking it all a little bit too seriously which is making you nervous and that’s not getting you anywhere. You need to relax - you are not alone lots of FT readers have this problem.
A quick morning dip in the sea followed by a sauna, fresh herring (lots of Omega oil) and a good pair of sandals all day works for me - each to their own - I’m sure you can think of something equally fun to put you in the mood for chatting too!
Posted by: Finn, Oslo | July 25th, 2008 at 3:57 pm | Report this comment1. Find you local Toastmasters club (link below). Go to one where no one knows you at first to avoid any reservations.
2. Volunteer to speak and help with the meetings.
3. Keep going and speaking (most difficult bit).
This will work.
http://www.toastmasters.org/websiteApps/searchresults.asp?Country=United%20Kingdom&State=England
Posted by: David, 42, male | July 25th, 2008 at 4:08 pm | Report this commentWhen you’re in a meeting, try to remember that it isn’t just about you. Allowing yourself to publicly wallow in nervousness is a form of self-absorption–you become detached from your colleagues and obsess over *your* idea and *your* fear of public speaking. Then naturally you become even more nervous after hesitating to speak for five minutes when you start to worry that someone already paraphrased your idea or that what you were going to say is no longer relevant now that the conversation has taken a different direction. Nervousness isn’t a productive feeling, so just remind yourself that most of the world doesn’t care whether you open your mouth or whether your voice cracks or you have to repeat yourself three times when you do say something. As for having a soft voice, speak LOUDLY to make up for it and bring along a bottle of water. Good luck!
Posted by: zeyna, editor, 25 | July 25th, 2008 at 4:38 pm | Report this commentTake an acting class, or better, an improv class. After being on stage, work meetings will seem a piece of cake. And improv is great fun, too!
-ashish
Posted by: Ashish M | July 25th, 2008 at 6:38 pm | Report this commentMale, 38
Senior Manager
A lot of good advice, some however seems very negative and will bring you down. It has nothing to do with age or people not caring about what you have to say - shame on whomever said that. I like what Oslo and Zeyna have to say. Overall, it isn’t about you, although it’s easy to think everyone is focused on you if you’re not feeling comfortable with a group. If you notice in your meetings, everyone is nervous to some degree, but they say what they have to say and keep going. I do, too. I find the more I speak up in meetings, the more comfortable I feel subsequently. The better I know who is in my meeting, the more comfortable I feel as well. Do try Toastmasters, they won’t let you down. Everyone is in the same boat, from all walks of life, all levels of the org charts, and they want to help. Good luck, you’re doing fine!
Posted by: Patty - 40, Senior Business Analyst | July 25th, 2008 at 7:42 pm | Report this commentIf you have a really important contribution to make why not work on a Powerpoint presentation? You can arrange it all in advance with captions, and even a voiceover. You could then take questions at the end which would give you the authorty to answer on a subject you have prepared well. This would in turn give you confidence in the future. This is also a very good technique to use with a boss who is inclined to use your ideas without giving you credit for them.
Posted by: carole chapman | July 26th, 2008 at 12:38 pm | Report this commentCarole 62 female, retired Advertising Consultant
This requires radical action:
Posted by: Greg 43 male ex-GP | July 26th, 2008 at 1:11 pm | Report this commentEngineer a minor life event like falling off a bike then immediately develop a condition called functional aphonia. In this, no sound comes out when the sufferer moves his lips, though there is nothing particularly wrong with the vocal cords.
Next obtain a throat microphone and amplifier from your physician. Now you can dial up any volume you want. And why not go for a top-of-the-range system where, when you want to convey authority, you can select ‘DALEK’ mode. When sympathy is required, perhaps switch to ‘Stephen Hawking’?
I found the Dale Carnegie booklet on public speaking and overcoming one’s fears very useful in dealing with my own deficiencies. The book is dated, but timelessly applicable.
Posted by: Hatim | July 26th, 2008 at 1:51 pm | Report this commentI very much relate to your difficulty with voice projection. Deep breathing exercises, such as abdominal breathing practised in Yoga, have been invaluable in my experience. It effectively relaxes your entire body for the duration of the exercise and for some time thereafter. More importantly, it relaxes your vocal chords, allowing for a deeper more resonating sound. The clincher here is that it also aides mental relaxation, resulting in a sense of increased mental freedom and, in the extreme, a sense of unfluttered whimsy.
Surf the web to find the techniques that suit you best; or better still, find a Yoga practioner who fully appreciates the power of deep breathing and take a few classes so you can learn you to do it effectively on your own.
Then you can apply it to your daily routine: wake just a little earlier in the morning before the work day and practice for 10-15 minutes. The beauty here is that deep breathing can be continually practiced throughout the work day: while sitting on your desk or even right before–and during–your meeting. Give it a shot for a month at least and see the difference.
Finally, focus on managing your breath while speaking. Try to always speak on the exhalation, and not vice versa. This is not easy and takes practice. However, like abdominal breathing, it can be practiced anytime throughout the work day. It is quite a revelation once you discover just how much your breath can support your voice.
Good luck and God bless.
Posted by: Anonymous, 32, Investment Associate | July 27th, 2008 at 7:35 am | Report this commentA soft voice in itself doesnt have to be a weakness. In fact it can carry authority… People had to strain to hear the Godfather Don Corleone yet I don’t imagine it bothered him. Seriously though, many high achievers in business and politics are limelight shy or softly spoken. Gandhi springs to mind as someone who began politics being terrified of addressing audiences. I think practice helps as well as just being yourself. If you’re soft spoken dont look at negatively. You’re getting air time with the people who count so it sounds like you’re on the right path.
Posted by: Alexander | July 28th, 2008 at 8:08 pm | Report this commentKeep focusing on producing bigger and better ideas. If they are as good as you think they are, they will resonate louder and longer than your voice.
Good luck!
A soft voice in itself doesnt have to be a weakness. In fact it can carry authority… People had to strain to hear the Godfather Don Corleone yet I don’t imagine it bothered him. Seriously though, many high achievers in business and politics are limelight shy or softly spoken. Gandhi springs to mind as someone who began politics being terrified of addressing audiences. I think practice helps as well as just being yourself. If you’re soft spoken dont look at negatively. You’re getting air time with the people who count so it sounds like you’re on the right path.
Posted by: Alexander, 31, Male, Reporter | July 28th, 2008 at 8:09 pm | Report this commentKeep focusing on producing bigger and better ideas. If they are as good as you think they are, they will resonate louder and longer than your voice.
Good luck!
I think Alexander, above me here, needs to get serious. You can’t give advice based on the experiences of a fictional character. People listened to Don Corleone’s cotton mouthed mumbling because they knew Luca Brazi would break their knees if they didn’t. There’s one solution for our friend, he can hire som muscle to join him in meetings and intimidate the others into listening to his “great” ideas.
I was just watching “the dog whisperer” on discovery. And what I learned from Caesar Milan is that you can only be soft spoken if you’re the alpha dog. Manager, I assume that’s his real name, is clearly more of an omega dog with his tail in between his legs.
It reminds me of when my second wife was trying to discipline my son (from my first marriage). She kept shouting: “no! don’t burn your sister with my curling iron!” in this really shrill nervous voice. My son obviously wasn’t going to listen to such poorly communicated advice from his stepmother. She wasn’t being an alpha dog.
So how can this corporate poodle become an alpha dog? He has to make his mark in a way that makes rumours, about how scary he is, circulate. Whenever we get a new group of summer interns at the bank, i send one of them (usually the biggest one) out to get me a double decaf soy milk hazelnut latte with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. When he brings it back, I take one drink, spit it out over his new suit and proceed to shout at him: “I wanted nutmeg! Not hazelnut, you really stupid moron!”. I always do this in front of the other interns. This accomplishes two things:
Posted by: Stellan Sjögreen, Banker 39 | July 29th, 2008 at 10:23 am | Report this comment1. It teaches the interns that the devil is in the details.
2. It lays the foundation for an effective M&A team every summer.
For a quick fix I recommend beta-blockers. Ten years ago I had an allergic reaction to Larium an anti-malaria drug, to counter the effects which were shaking and heightened nervousness I was prescribed a mild beta-blocker. The effect was instantaneous and impressive, eliminating the symptoms and in addition giving a feeling of general wellbeing. Subsequently my GP remarked that he regularly prescribes them for someone in a well know orchestra who is nervous about playing in public ! It occured to me that these would be useful for job interviews, high level meetings and the like, so I asked my GP for some more which he and other GPs have had no problem with. Now I take half a tab 2 hours before a meeting I’m particularly concerned about. In practice I’ve taken about 4 tabs in the past 5 years, having found that once through the initial barrier I don’t need them anymore.
Posted by: John - age 55 | July 29th, 2008 at 3:19 pm | Report this commentRe Stellan’s (hopefully fictional) advice on spitting the dummy (sorry, the latte):
Um … doesn’t it rather teach your hapless interns that they’re working with a tosser of the first order who suffers from a short-term memory disorder? Less of an alpha dog, more just barking mad.
Posted by: cs | July 29th, 2008 at 3:25 pm | Report this commentNo cs. You’re exhibiting all the characteristics of a really linear thinker. Lets get lateral. I’m not barking mad, I’m banking mad. And I want my interns to be as passionate about it as me. That means putting up with all sorts of faeces. Being a banking intern is a lot like being in the army. It’s hell, and the worse the start is, the better the rest seems. And who is more of an alpha dog than a drill sergeant?
I have to admit to a slight exaggeration, I don’t actually spit on a persons nice new suit. That would be really rude. Ok, there was this one time, but the guy had a suit from TopMan. I had clients to think about. I bought him a new one from Zegna.
But, the point of the “memory-loss latte”- exercise is to sharpen up the group. I don’t want them to just listen to what I want when I ask for something. I want them to try and second guess me; I want them to anticipate what I really want them to do and think about what the actual deliverables are, on the task at hand, independently of what I have told them. That requires more thought, and usually leads to better results, because they always go above and beyond on the tasks I ask them to perform. It usually means I can trust them to deliver high quality work without me looking over their shoulders all the time. I’ve also found that it makes them all listen very carefully to what I actually do say.
I’ve always found that predictability is an overrated skill among managers. It’s a competence that I’d rather see in among administrators, and other linear thinkers
Posted by: Stellan Sjögreen, Banker 39 | July 30th, 2008 at 9:52 am | Report this commentThis is a common problem for women at work, as their voices are typically not as loud as those of men. I can recommend practicing breathing so you expand and contract your stomach rather than your chest for 5-10 mins before each meeting and during the meeting. Also, make sure you sit well back in your chair, and try to “throw” your voice to the further corner/wall of the room. I’ve also found showing my annoyance (”Excuse me, if I could just finish”, or “Would you mind just letting me finish?” with those who shout over me to be surprisingly effective.
Posted by: HW | July 30th, 2008 at 3:18 pm | Report this commentI find it useful to remember that the others in a group are not willing you to fail or embarrass yourself - assume their goodwill (unless this flies in the face of your experience) and this makes speaking in front of them a bit easier.
Just as important, especially with speaking in front of crowds etc, is to remember that the audience care much less about it than you do. It’s more likely that their prime concern at that moment is “I wonder what’s for lunch”, rather than “I plan to concentrate intently on this man and any mistakes he might make”.
Posted by: James Clarke | July 30th, 2008 at 5:06 pm | Report this commentYou recognize your problem but have been unable to fix it yourself. You simply aren’t cut out for leadership. My suggestion: find someone who is cut out for leadership, share all your great ideas with him (or her, lest we be sexist) and ride their coat tails. You’ll do all of the work for less than your share of the money and get none of the glory - which is a better deal than you’re getting now and apparently not a bad enough deal to frighten you into speaking up for yourself.
Posted by: Roy McIntyre | July 30th, 2008 at 11:48 pm | Report this comment-Roy, 33, male, Manager
One tip is to get to the meeting a little before the formal start time- perhaps even be the first one in the room.Then you can greet and make chitchat with each person as they arrive; in this way you will feel that you’ve already ’spoken’ at the meeting, and making more formal points during the meeting shouldn’t be so daunting. In case you have new people joining the meeting , make a point of introducing yourself on a one- to- one basis, prior to the start.
Posted by: Fiona Hulme | July 31st, 2008 at 4:05 pm | Report this commentFiona
Female 51
Consultant , International Financial Services
[…] How Can I Find My Voice and Speak Up? | Ask Lucy from the Financial Times. […]
Posted by: Links Extravaganza 8.1.08 « Red Sea | August 1st, 2008 at 7:57 pm | Report this comment2.5 mg of Diazapan 20 minutes before the meeting (dosage and timing to be adjusted in the light of experience) will do the trick. It’s non-addictive if you don’t try using it for every conceivable situation and doctors are sympathetic if you explain your need for a prescription by explaining your problem. It did wonders for me. (I seem to remember a very similar question on this site about a year ago).
Posted by: Stephen, 61, male, consultant | August 2nd, 2008 at 7:17 pm | Report this commentYour problem is not that you have a soft voice but that you are not using your diaphragm to breathe (breathing into the bottom part of your chest, where you get more breath for less effort). I am sure, even without having met you, that you are breathing high into your chest and rarely exhale all of the air in your lungs…you have no resonance in your voice. With resonance in your voice and good diction, you can talk very quietly and people will listen, a powerful tool in business as you sound relaxed and in control.
It is the diaphragm and the muscles between the lower ribs that you want to exercise and become aware of, to give you a solid amount of air that will give you a solid sound. The air should be coming in naturally (breathe out all the air in your chest, hold for three counts and then let the air fall back in) and your ribs should swing outwards, your chest should not rise up.
Don’t fall into the common trap trying to talk louder, you will strain from the throat, repel the listener and they will probably discount everything you say.
A perfect example is Hillary Clinton who pushes out her voice from her throat, sounding desperate for people to listen to her as opposed to Obama Barack whose voice sits low in his chest.
If you want a cheap solution, take a yoga class.
Jenny
Posted by: Jenny Patterson, 33 | August 4th, 2008 at 11:38 am | Report this commentDirector, Marketing Statements Limited
There are 2 ways to look at it. If these are people you know, the issue may be about what you say. If on the other hand they are unknown people, the issue isn’t about what you say. Try to differenciate that first. That will help you sort out quite a few obstacles. Once you clear your path, it will be much easier to concentrate on one or two topics. The words will flow if you sell those ideas to yourself first.
Go for it - YOU can definitely do it !
Posted by: Arewhy - 73 - male - multi divisional supervisor | August 7th, 2008 at 9:33 pm | Report this commentFirst of all, you need to stop seeing it as a problem. Dont obsess about it and dont be self critical. Try to focus on your idea and not how you will present it. Never wait too long before you say something as that only builds up your anxiety and makes you more nervous. Try to control your breeding as well. These are just short term measures. You, however, need to work on your self-confidence in the long run.i will suggest you listen to audio tapes and read books from some notable motivational speakers.
Posted by: Onajite Udje, 29, Accountant | August 12th, 2008 at 2:16 pm | Report this commentI had the same issue a few years ago, and found it hard to speak out during my MBA classes or in conference call meeting. It wasn’t just that my voice wasn’t projected at all, it was the sheer confusion of my speech… despite my brilliant ideas.
There is always some psychological reason behind that and I did some work to understand mine.(education system were kids were not encouraged to be asertive in public or in front of any sort of authority).
The real breakthrough came with Joining Toastmaster almost two years ago, doing 5 to 7minutes speeches on regular basis, performing impromptu speeches and just geeting to know the beauty of my voice.
There is also a part of toastmaster which is about evaluating other speakers and that gave me etra confidences during meeting, knowing that I have the technical understanding to be one of the best speaker of my team.
I strongly suggest you to check Toastmaster’s club in London, there are at least 10 great clubs around.
Posted by: Auguste, Financial Services Consultant | August 14th, 2008 at 2:19 pm | Report this commentI suffer from the same ailment; sommesso voce…
I tried Jenny’s comment re deep breathing-it is true that I shallow breathe, and whilst it deepened my voice, I became a little light-headed…food for thought…
David, 50, M, Life Planner
Posted by: David | August 20th, 2008 at 7:54 pm | Report this comment