Back to Dear Lucy homepageI work in a team of four researchers and I have a problem that I realise will seem laughably small, but is really getting to me. I am a very neat person, and every night I leave my pad and pen to the right of my keyboard. In the last few weeks I have found that when I come in it has been moved to exactly the same position on the left. Even when I go out at lunchtime I come back to find that small movements have been made to my desk. I don’t know which of the three is laughing at me. Perhaps they all are. If I protest I will look ridiculous but to do nothing condemns me as a victim. What do you suggest?
Researcher, male, 37
Lucy’s Answer
As my own desk is a heap of papers, old magazines and dirty cups, I struggle to find my pad at all. I’m struggling even harder to understand how it can matter so much which side of the keyboard yours is on.
So I’ve sought expert advice from a colleague who is dedicated to leaving his pen exactly parallel to his pad at all times. I explained your problem and he looked stricken. “That is not laughably small – it’s terrible,” he said.
He urges you to stick a Post-It note to your pad saying: Please don’t move this pad. I see it might seem funny to you, but I have an obsessive-compulsive condition and so find it upsetting to find my pad in the wrong place. Thank you.
I bow to his wisdom and experience, but this strikes me as a little heavy-handed. If your colleagues are simply engaging in light joshing, they could be so mortified by this note they might start treating you as a leper. But if they are in fact trying to be horrible, your note will please them as it will tell them they are succeeding.
Most readers suggest you respond to a joke with a joke. Variously they urge you to Super Glue the pad to the desk, put petroleum jelly on the pen, write a jokey message under the pad or – most imaginatively – empty the hole punch into their umbrellas.
These pranksters all think the problem will be solved if you show you can take a joke, but I’m not so sure. My colleague has a stronger than average sense of humour - except when the positioning of his pen is at stake.
If I were you I would skip the schoolboy pranks, and do nothing. This does not make you a victim: it means you are rising above it. They only do it for a response, and if they don’t get one they will stop soon enough.
