FT.com | Dear Lucy | Should I be ashamed for being an investment banker?

Should I be ashamed for being an investment banker?

October 16, 2008

At a dinner party last Saturday I was asked by a fellow guest what I did and I said I was an investment banker. I might as well have said I was a paedophile. Suddenly the whole table – all friends of my wife from the art world – turned on me with such venom I was really taken aback. I tried to defend myself by saying that I had nothing to be ashamed of in the work that I do in M&A, but the more I argued the more hostile the other guests became.

Next time this happens – and I fear there will be a next time – should I accept guilt for what isn’t my fault, or should I lie and say I’m a librarian?

Investment banker, male, 42

Lucy’s Answer

I cannot work out if your question is a genuine inquiry about dinner party etiquette or a howl of pain at the unfairness of life.

If it is the first, the answer is simple. There is absolutely no point in trying to convince arty people that you are anything other than the devil; any attempt will make things worse. The complaint against investment bankers is that you have dragged the world into recession through your greed, stupidity and arrogance, and any attempt to say otherwise will enrage them still more.

To avoid further ugly scenes, next time say you work for the government. Which, depending on your bank, may be partly true. If there is a follow-up question (although there probably won’t be) say you work on the financial side. That will shut them up.

The good news is that if you go to dinner parties as infrequently as I do, things may be less intense next time. People do not obsess over the same things indefinitely, or else going out would be so dull no one would bother. Next time the topic will probably have shifted to Madonna’s divorce, and you will be returned to the status you probably always had: smug, boring, philistine, too rich for your own good and an eccentric choice of husband for your nice, arty wife.

The bigger question is, who is right: you or the outraged artists? The answer is neither. You weren’t personally responsible for what has happened, yet neither are you in a good position to claim the high moral ground. M&A is not the most honourable of callings: mostly it just added to leverage and job losses, so to show a bit of humility might have been seemly.

One other thing I would love to have known: what did your arty wife say to you in the car on the way home?

October 16th, 2008 in Weblogs | Permalink

163 Responses to “Should I be ashamed for being an investment banker?”

Comments

Assuming at age 42 you did not become an investment banker last week, I am gob smacked that it’s taken until now for you to be in this situation. As the cockney rhyming slang (’merchant banker’) implies this is a perception held by many outside the industry. What’s more, the art community is naturally more loathsome than most of bankers, and industrialist, as it is these patriarchs that afford them their folly, and no free spirited artist likes to feel they are tied to these ignorant capitalist pigs.

What I really think has happened here is that your self-perception has altered. It could be that you were once ‘Master of the Universe’ and now fear you may become a mere civil servant (in reference to state ownership of banks) which has made you more defensive of your career choice, or possibly you are acutely aware of the unraveling economy and its far reaching implication for those ‘less fortunate’ and therefore your current position of (perceived) wealth makes you feel more conspicuous.

As for next time, don’t worry, because when you are asked what you do you will probably have to respond ‘I am unemployed’.
Posted by: Mr T, VIP, London | October 16th, 2008 at 3:01 am | Report this comment
I think all private sector workers should be able to articulate simply how their work both helps society and makes profit. I suspect many investment bankers may struggle with both. If you are unable to communicate these points simply and the listener doesn’t understand you then probably should expect to be disliked - especially if you have earned ten times the national average wage in 2007 and the taxpayer is effectively now paying for these wages retrospectively. To say you work in “M&A” is not an articulate answer. I would suggest not using acronyms for a start.
Posted by: Tim, Tokyo | October 16th, 2008 at 5:50 am | Report this comment
Don’t just defend. Force them to propose an alternative. If they don’t do it themselves, try to see what they are implying.

In this case their alternative is a world where companies are not allowed to merge or buy each other. Compare that with the current one and say why you think the current one is better.

If they are talking about the financial crash more generally, but they don’t know anything about it, I suggest blaming governments especially for the American Community Reinvestment Act which mandated the bad loans in the first place.
Posted by: Samec, 30 | October 16th, 2008 at 6:48 am | Report this comment
Just say u work in a Bank. It will be enough for them and nobody will ask what are your job functions.. After they see you are a nice guy they can get to know u work in IB. Before that, just hide it
Posted by: menezan, 25, brazilian | October 16th, 2008 at 8:35 am | Report this comment
This is the most difficult time to be an investment banker and/or hedge fund employee.

The general perception, despite your first degree in economics and statistics, is that you are overpaid than other industry peers. There are some who feel you are among those that actually caused the crisis!

You may need to change how you introduce yourself at public functions.
Posted by: Mutimba | October 16th, 2008 at 9:18 am | Report this comment
Next time, acknowledge that many people feel angry about the complex current financial crisis. Try asking (unpatronisingly) what your fellow guests would like to understand more clearly and so position yourself, Robert Peston-style, as informed commentator. You might use analogies from the art world, as some ordinary folk don’t understand why animals pickled in formaldehyde sell for millions. If, as Andy Warhol said, ‘Art is what you can get away with’ is there another perspective on investment banking they might consider?
Posted by: Hilary, 43, communication consultant | October 16th, 2008 at 9:40 am | Report this comment
The financial crisis ‘blame-storming’ that’s going on now is breathtakingly hypocritical and taking everyone’s eyes off the ball - I bet there were a fair few people around that dinner table who ought to be shouldering some collective blame, i.e. living beyond their means on credit cards or personal loans, selling or remortgaging their homes at what now look like inflated values…and are now busy bleating about the consequences.

Being in the art world, presumably the luckier of your wife’s friends may have been dealing with wealthy patrons, some of whom no doubt will have made their money in the world of finance and will have spent their ill-gotten gains on richly-priced works of art?

If you can’t construct a decently shaming, waspish put-down in response to your wife’s venomous friends, then you probably should be a librarian! Actually, on second thoughts that’s not very fair to librarians.

Credit-crunch hypocrisy aside, if these people are your ‘friends’ then I shudder to think what your enemies must be like…
Posted by: GLH, female, 30, manager | October 16th, 2008 at 9:41 am | Report this comment
art world = unemployed/great unwashed. You’ve nothing to be ashamed off at least you work for a living.
Posted by: Anthony Blacker | October 16th, 2008 at 10:12 am | Report this comment
Now you know what it’s been like to be a lawyer for the last 20 years! Investment bankers have been the first to “turn on them with venom”.
Posted by: Spyke, 44, male, lawyer | October 16th, 2008 at 10:17 am | Report this comment
Point out to them that blaming bankers is akin to fat people blaming McDonalds. Wall Street and the City were efficient in creating cheap credit… Governments allowed consumers to gorge.
Posted by: wilton | October 16th, 2008 at 10:41 am | Report this comment
My son is a investment banker in the City. When he is with friends he tells them he is a dolphin trainer, although they do not work 60+ hours a week. I am proud as a father for what he does and tries to achieve. Yes I lost money to!

Regards,

John de Vlieger

John,male,61,retired B747 Captain
Posted by: John de Vlieger | October 16th, 2008 at 10:52 am | Report this comment
You should feel guilty. The City is a casino..nothing less and everyday you sat down at the wheel.
You invenetd ever increasing complexity and lost common sense..all to chase the extra point of return.
Your industry, and its lax regulation by the authorities, have caused untold damage.
Also..you guys are massively overated..not least by yourselves.
Welcome to the real world now buddy. You will find its a pretty tough place.
Good luck.
Posted by: Steve Timms | October 16th, 2008 at 10:53 am | Report this comment
Two scandals exist: adulterated Chinese milk which has hospitalised thousands of children and the banking crisis which has, or will, destroy the lives of millions. Executives in both cases acted unethically for profit and know they did.In the food industry it was against the law for which they will be fined, imprisoned or (being China)possibly shot.In banking no laws were broken but you belong to a group who were acting unethically and you are guilty by association.I was working in the merger and acquisition industry during the Eighties ( insider trading, greed is good etc) and I know there is nothing you can do but shut up, hope you don’t lose your job and pray for the sun to shine again soon. I would ignore the arties who really are worthless ( with friends like that who needs enemies?) - but say you are in finance.If friendly interest goes further you can explain what you do - but don’t expect any comprehension
You are in for a hard time. Good luck
Posted by: David Kay | October 16th, 2008 at 10:59 am | Report this comment
I don’t know about you, but to me this sounds like a lot of fun, unless you don’t have any friends and desperately need these art types to accept you.

Why not stir it up a bit more? Saying you’re a banker is a guaranteed stir these days, why not anticipate it and use the reaction you know you’re gonna get to direct the conversation and have a bit of fun?

If these friends are art types, it’s unlikely they have the powers of reasoning that you should have at your age, so if you’re worth your title (I’m assuming you’re an MD at 42), you should be able to lead them around in a wonderful circle that ends up with them off-loading a scathing criticism at what they think is “your type of person”, only to have it rebound viciously upon themselves. Very few pleasures can compare…

Then again, any 40-something Bankers I’ve come across are usually only still in Banking because they suck at everything else and are neither smart nor bold enough to start their own business.

On that note, have you thought about attending art classes?
Posted by: Benjamin, 25, Investment Banker | October 16th, 2008 at 11:08 am | Report this comment
Ashamed? Of course not. Look around you at all the wealth you have created.
Posted by: Ozymandias | October 16th, 2008 at 11:08 am | Report this comment
If this is a genuine letter then you should not be in the risk business. If you haven’t worked out how to deal with the subsidy addicted, non-productive artie world of your wife’s friends, you haven’t been paying attention to the society we all live in.

Ian 54 Entrepreneur (resting!)
Posted by: Ian Campbell | October 16th, 2008 at 11:17 am | Report this comment
If you are not sure how fair this is then a good question to ask yourself is, whether, at the start of your career, you enjoyed the prestige of working in finance despite the fact at that stage you had done nothing to create the prestige associated with the industry.

I still say you should just debate them though.
Posted by: Samec, 30 | October 16th, 2008 at 11:24 am | Report this comment
Next time you are assailed for being an investment banker, tell them you are actually in M&A and add, ‘I’m sure you know that M&A is totally different from broking or proprietary trading or arranging deals in CDS or other derivatives’ Most probably, they won’t contradict you since they won’t have a clue as to what you are saying. www.winnowed.blogspot.com

Male, 33, Lawyer, London
Posted by: Vinod Joseph | October 16th, 2008 at 11:27 am | Report this comment
I’m waiting to hear Stollen’s (or whatever his name is) reply.
Posted by: Dev | October 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am | Report this comment
first off, it is incorrect to think you’re entitled to lie about your profession,since lies are how Wall Street went into (sudden?) collapse. It is fine to LIE as long as you don’t mind it that Others Lie to you. (Probably this is not viewed as acceptible). As an investment banker, you are likely part of the demise of the global economy, but the cause-effect link is indirect. Because of what your daily activities are, others are now much more poor– let’s Face the Facts. Please keep in mind that the average bonus for those at your level is $200,000 per year (apart from salary), so you are have fine compensation compared with all other workers in the U.S. And, you can easily afford merchandise that others have to plan for, save for, etc. Do not be surprised that others who secretly envied your lifestyle now view things differently. And, be happy that all US taxpayers are paying for Your Salary with the Wall Street Bailout. The US has been printing US dollar bills like mad– so that you can keep your well-paid job. Even taxpayers don’t have the US dollars to bail out $700 billion in value, so dollars are spinning off the press as we speak
Posted by: Hele, M, 53, Researcher | October 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am | Report this comment
Sheesh, you’re very sensitive. And the respondents here are awfully dismissive of artists! I’d respond with humour and self-deprecation, and change the subject to hear more about what their work is. People (i-banker first among them, up to now) invariably prefer to talk about themselves rather than listen to others do the same.
Posted by: JH | October 16th, 2008 at 11:39 am | Report this comment
I suspect your fellow diners were happy to benefit from wealthy bankers buying art not long ago?

This is certainly not about you as a person. It’s difficult times. People need to express fear, anger, frustration etc and although you can’t blame them for doing it, it is unfortunate that you feel it is directed at you.

Bottom line is : there’s nothing you can do about it, but you can choose to laugh, weep or ignore it.

When this happens to me I think of John Cleese’s performance in the “Argument clinic” and it lightens up my spirits.
Posted by: coco, 36, male, COO | October 16th, 2008 at 11:56 am | Report this comment
It depends. If you spent the last dinner party with the same friends bragging about your new Murcielago, your last holiday in Gstaad, wore your Patek, and generally behaved like a Master of the Universe - you have obviously received your just desserts. And, frankly, should have expected as much. So lie through your teeth in future; at least for such time as you remain an investment banker.

Otherwise, why be embarrassed by a choice that you consciously made and obviously enjoyed (until now)?

As for your wife -if she didnt defend you - shame on her.
Posted by: Ken, 44, Male, Solicitor | October 16th, 2008 at 12:24 pm | Report this comment
You are going to have to accept that for as long as the mass media is covering this story, you will be greeted with animosity. But, why are you so bothered what a few ‘chin strokers’ from the art world think about you, especially at age 42?
Posted by: Mark, 25 Printer | October 16th, 2008 at 12:24 pm | Report this comment
I don’t think you should lie about waht you do, everyone will always have something to say and in times of crisis the will always look for someone to blame.

Are you soley responsibily for the state of the financial industry at present? I believe not, then don’t stand by and take the blame.

If you enjoy what you do and are proud of it then fight your corner. If those around you are too ignorant to see you as individual then you ought not be in their presence… or maybe they are not worthy of being in yours.

An Arts & Events Management Graduate.
Posted by: Emma Harry | October 16th, 2008 at 12:31 pm | Report this comment
Bankers create nothing, they just push paper around. The ones that create are engineers, designers, artists, computer system designers, architects, etc. Where are their huge bonuses?

And by the way, a first in economics is nothing these days. Just about anyone should be able to manage that. There are a lot of people walking around with PhDs, medical degrees, etc. that haven’t been rewarded like you have.
Posted by: Jim Vernon | October 16th, 2008 at 12:44 pm | Report this comment
In your position , I’d worry more about being an ex-investment banker.
Posted by: Phil | October 16th, 2008 at 12:47 pm | Report this comment
And an actual librarian
Posted by: Phil | October 16th, 2008 at 12:50 pm | Report this comment
What schadenfreude! As an academic researcher with a hard-working partner in the public sector, we’ve had twenty years of being sneered at by investment bankers at dinner parties, as some kind of tax-financed parasites. At least we’ve always had the consolation of loving our work, and knowing that it made a real contribution to knowlege creation and social welfare.
Male, Research Director, 53
Posted by: Nigel M | October 16th, 2008 at 12:58 pm | Report this comment
Well, I am now in the ibanking business for years. During this time I have learned that from time to time a white lie is always a blessing. And this holds true for your business as well as private life. In particular, afterjob parties where material girls are fishing for their jackpot, it is always great fun to convince the girls that you are not an ibanker, but instead a sociologist. Unfortunately, they often caught me as I was wearing my Rolex and a Hugo Boss suit. Very bad timing, I would say!!! ;o)))

Nowadays, we have a total different story. We have to accept that our profession is the evil in person and that only being a child abuser is worse than being an ibanker. But who fu**ing cares!?!? I love my job and my life-style! So, why should I try being someone else?

In such moments I remember the quote of my most favourable insane Mr Caligula (former Roman Emporer) who said “oderint dum metuant” - let them hate, so long as they fear!!!

So long!
Posted by: Metty | October 16th, 2008 at 1:01 pm | Report this comment
It’s all part of today’s rather curious culture of inverted snobbery, which allows even Wykehamists and Harrovians to stigmatize Etonians as elitists. They are directing fire at you because they fear your superiority, but of course they now think they have good moral cause for doing so. Try to win their sympathy by saying you went to a run-down state school and grew up on a council estate.
Posted by: Neil | October 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm | Report this comment
Bit surprised you were invited to dinner in the first place.
Posted by: Michael Reid | October 16th, 2008 at 1:12 pm | Report this comment
It is ridiculous to judge someone’s character simply because they are a banker, although when one reads the comment posted above by ‘Metty’, it is not entirely surprising why bankers may have a reputation of being vacuous, arrogant, immature, self-mythologising individuals. However, that is a huge generalisation - every person is different. Surely there are many artists, civil servants, academics - you name the profession - who are selfish, patronising, unkind…
Posted by: Eleanor | October 16th, 2008 at 1:14 pm | Report this comment
What you should do is find a couple of adders and steal a panther from the zoo, take a large burlap sack, put the creatures into it, climb in yourself, stitch the sack securely shut and then ask your wife to throw you into the Thames. I also suggest you put Metty into the sack with you.
Posted by: Cato | October 16th, 2008 at 1:19 pm | Report this comment
I thought that Hillary the communication consultant’s response was hilarious.

Nothing could be better guarenteed to enrage a dinner party guest, not least behaving like Robet Peston…
Posted by: Elliott, 29, Analyst | October 16th, 2008 at 1:38 pm | Report this comment
Well it was going to happen wasn’t it?
How much were they going to understand - you may not be personally responsible for the global economic meltdown, but at that table you symolised all that was wrong with the systems that ‘were’ responsible.
At your age, if you couldn’t see how sensitive the subject is and casually announced that your job, then more fool you.
I would stick to telling people you work in IT and keep it buttoned.
The most interesting part of your post is that in finding yourself under attack you feel the need to distance yourself from the other guests…’friends of my wifes’…’from the art world’… that doesn’t make them stupid you know.
Posted by: Mel | October 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm | Report this comment
Your fellow guests made a very common error in that they confused ‘what you do’ with ‘who you are’. Just because you work as an investment bank does not mean you are a bottom-dwelling-scum-sucking-leech. Based upon the other dinner guests you are obviously a patron of the arts and a supportive husband. You need to remind your ‘wifes friends’ of that.
Posted by: Gary, 51, Male, SR Manager | October 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm | Report this comment
If you are that concerned how people think about you, retrain as a nurse. The rewards of investment banking surely (even now) offset these issues..

Saying you’re M&A is not likely to make things any better to non-bankers, either - “Aren’t you the guys that made fat fees from closing my brother’s employer down?” is not likely to get the evening off on a light note…
Posted by: Peter Dunkley | October 16th, 2008 at 1:52 pm | Report this comment
I am not an investment banker, but have worked in controversial issues. The best things is to show understanding of their position. Then, say they raise valid points that you have thought about your self too. Third, you may raise a defense by challenging en passant one or two (not more) of their assumptions, of course in a very polite way. But before they lead an angry charge at you, seek an armistice.

If all this fails, change strategy: show you are unrepentant and worst comes to worst begin attacking other peoples professions.

Hope these helps, but I still think I will meet all investment bankers who worked between the late 1970s-2008 in hell (just a cheap joke!). A bientot….
Posted by: agustin | October 16th, 2008 at 2:16 pm | Report this comment
Forget it!!!
Don’t waste your life time in explaining the mob what your are exactly doing. There are people out there who think that a Hedge Fund Manager has something to do with landscaping.

Be proud of what you have achieved so far, even if it is only the number of digits on your paycheck. In the end, if you are not doing the job, there will be someone else doing it and earning your money.

Therefore, ladies and gents: “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!”
Posted by: Metty | October 16th, 2008 at 2:25 pm | Report this comment
You should not have to lie about what you do; it is not as if you single-handedly brought the industry to its knees, so don’t feel as if you need to apologise. If you know you are a good person then don’t worry about what other people think. Also, it’s not as if you have to see those people every day
Posted by: Isabella, 22, F | October 16th, 2008 at 2:29 pm | Report this comment
You are either extremely lucky or unsually talented. The fact that you cannot deal with criticism from a bunch of artists suggests than you lack the very thick skin that almost any successful senior M&A banker has. You must then have survived in the M&A jungle because of some special talent that is not obvious from your letter or sheer luck. I you are unable to identify such special skill then you might as well say you are a librarian. Your job is unlikely to stay with you for long. If on the other hand you can identify that very special talent then, by all means, take the critics on using it to your advantage. You are unbeatable!
Posted by: Ricardo Ex-M&A investment banker, 46 male | October 16th, 2008 at 2:31 pm | Report this comment
You could always change your job. Teacher, maybe? But perhaps you aren’t thick skinned enough.
Posted by: Sheila 58 F | October 16th, 2008 at 2:36 pm | Report this comment
An investment banker brokers and creates. However, it sounds like you have a guilty conscience. Perhaps your hands aren’t as clean as you’d like to think.
Posted by: Brian | October 16th, 2008 at 2:42 pm | Report this comment
The art people are always stupid and emotional. No offense to some people here. So what do you do with them in the first place?
Posted by: Z, male, 30 | October 16th, 2008 at 2:43 pm | Report this comment
Jeez - suck it up cry baby

As an I-Banker I am sure you have handed out plenty about other people and their professions (or lack of them) round dinner party tables over the years.

Nobody likes a smart ass, especally once they are shown to be not so smart. And IB’s have been some of the biggest SA’s around for an awful long time.

So now its payback time.

But you will still have a big fact pay check compared to virtually anybody else. Whether you’re worth it is moot. Buy yourself a nice new toy to salve your pain and move on.

If you get laid off due to current debacle, people will be kinder to your face (and smirk about it behind their hands).
Posted by: James, 44, advertising | October 16th, 2008 at 2:54 pm | Report this comment
The funny thing is that nobody takes blame: I have spoken to many people working in hedge funds and investment banking, including credit traders and everybody refers to the creators of this crisis as “they”. Nobody, including myself who was an internal auditor at the time and could have written some findings about the riskiness of these instruments, feel that we could have prevented the crisis, although we do think that people collectively (perhaps except for ourselves) could have done something different.
Posted by: Consultant | October 16th, 2008 at 2:56 pm | Report this comment
A little bit of humble pie always goes a long way but you might also want to ask your arty friends who it is that caused the surge in art prices and what it was that funded it all all of which these friends seemed or should have benefited from. Or are they those horrid creatures who think money is beneath them and moan about how it is all so vulgar?
We are all culpable in this saga - my two year interest free sofa and their overdrafts.
Just one question - what did you do with the city bonuses you received? How much if any if it made its way back to needy causes and people? If you have done the decent thing on that you can smile secretly to yourself that your conscious is clear. If not - shame on you with hot coals but it is not too late to redeem yourself.
Posted by: Stuart, 43, Assistant Director, London | October 16th, 2008 at 3:09 pm | Report this comment
Next time say that you are a terrorist or you work in the gun-industry, you do scientific experiments on willingness animals etc.

Once they are over that shock, you can say ‘No, I’m kidding, I work in a bank’. End of conversation.

Enjoy.
Posted by: Derek, 29, male, Online Marketeer | October 16th, 2008 at 3:21 pm | Report this comment
Dear Lucy:

There is nothing to be ashamed about being an investment banker. The buck stops at the CEO and the Board and if they encouraged you and through their oversight committees authorized you to overstep the line from sound business practice, and failed to monitor the results, then they are the ones who should be ashamed and fired for having abandoned their responsibilies.

Keep at it as one day your skills will be needed again. Meanwhile and for some time to come, its back to basics and sound loan to value ratios. FSA and other regulators have a major role to play in establishing and enforcing the norms under which bank depositors funds may be lent or invested.
Posted by: Peter Hanney | October 16th, 2008 at 3:36 pm | Report this comment
Well this is funny. Burt alas, I think your situation is difficult indeed, since Investment bankers are seen like the root of all evil right now; altough, to be honest, I think is just stupid.

dealing with the mass stupidity of people is usually hard, so I think that lieing will be your best option for now
Posted by: Jonthan | October 16th, 2008 at 4:00 pm | Report this comment
Why don’t you just claim that you are a paedophile? They will never believe you anyway, and when they discover the truth it will not seem so bad as your initial answer.

Alternatively, just be brazenly unapologetic. Do not forget the deep held feeling of shame these arty types must feel. Banking may well be a fraud but art is even worse. You know, I know it and you can bet they know it.
Posted by: Bob the Racehorse | October 16th, 2008 at 4:00 pm | Report this comment
If I were you I’d get a new wife and/or new friends. I generally find that “arty” people, for all their assumed liberal nature and moral superiority, are far more closed minded and judgemental than the even the greediest city player. If they are simplistic enough to assume that everyone who works for an IB “parcels up sub-prime debt” then quite frankly they’re not worth bothering with.

Next time you meet them I suggest you behave as boorishly and arrogantly as possible just enjoy annoying them.
Posted by: Jon, 29 | October 16th, 2008 at 4:17 pm | Report this comment
I agree and disagree with Derek. yes the Board are responsible - but a 42 year old investment banker is an old hand by anyone’s yard stick and fostering the blame solely on the grey shirts on the top floor is not taking responsibility for your own actions. Using the “i was only doing what i was told” arguement is wearing a bit thin these days. Giving advice on M&A is an honorable profession - parcelling up dodgy investments and selling them to the first mug who comes along isn’t - quite simple - regardless of whether the mug should have known better.
I count my wife’s friends as my own - what does that say about the relationship you have with your wife? What does she think about yours?
Posted by: Stuart, 43, Assistant Director, London | October 16th, 2008 at 4:43 pm | Report this comment
ps sorry - anyone else agree with Derek that it is back to basics and old fashioned sensible loan to value risk taking? It means banking becomes rather boring and conservative again - isn’t that what we need our bankers to be doing with our money?
Posted by: Stuart, 43, Assistant Director, London | October 16th, 2008 at 4:46 pm | Report this comment
I think you should just use some more focused terminology. Investment banking is quite a wide ranging description, which can apply to the demonic subprime mortgage disaster. Therefore, you could perhaps use something more specific, to illustrate the harmlessness of your actual role. How about “corporate finance”, “corporate advisory” or “Mergers and acquisitions”, or “I give businesses financial advice that maximises value for its stakeholders”.

A lot of life is about first impressions. I’m sure you wife’s arty friends are quite high on the list of people that are aware of that fact.
Posted by: Ben, 24, male, private equity executive | October 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Report this comment
What i find most intersting about your problem, is not the reaction of the guests at the dinner party- but yours. It appears that you have an obvious lack of awareness of how you appear in the wider community (hence your shock at the venom being directed your way) when describing your work in M&A.

In your role i assume you observe and analyse all the possible outcomes, think about the courses of action you can take and their subsequent effects….and you measure this in risk.

Did you never consider that the banking community is being seen as the ill of the world at the moment, the cause of all thing evil? And as a memeber such ill-feeling would be directed your way? - From your reaction i guess not!

All is not lost though, you were not expecting such an attack (just some good wine and converstion) and it took you by suprise, knocked you off your feet a little- this is the tactical advantage of the ambush.

Now you are better prepared, you now know what the reaction to your job will be from your wifes friends, and now you can deal with it. Think how you will approach it, how you will deal with the venom, what startegies and comebacks you have at your disposal..

You are a big boy now, life is not always going to go your way, there are dips and times when people don’t like us……we deal with it and move on.

Soon someone else will take the place of IBs has the bottom feeders of society, ride the storm till then.
Posted by: Scott Male 36 | October 16th, 2008 at 5:28 pm | Report this comment
Disappointing in extremis that you lacked the audacity to remind them the art world has been playing on ego, greed and sleight of hand since before investment banking was invented. As have some in medicine, religion and anthropology, among other fields.
Posted by: Alan, 59, male, capital markets consultant | October 16th, 2008 at 5:56 pm | Report this comment
what goes around comes around … perhaps for a while people will treat you like so because bankers treated the world like so, or so i hear they did; redeem yourself next time, talk about philanthropical activities you were involved in, not just where you got your chequebook out but where you dug a garden for homeless persons or taught schoolkids to read, talk about community and cultural cards up your sleeve for the following months ahead, you lived a full and fulfilling life … remember to smile, feel and express genuine warmth and compassion towards mankind
Posted by: Harsh Male 35 City Solicitor | October 16th, 2008 at 6:13 pm | Report this comment
I am not a finance / banking bod, so for those that are this may seem a dumb question. But how is M&A not part of the problem we now all face and are paying for?

Don’t most M&A deals involve financing through leveraging up the purchaser balance sheet. Isn’t that largely what IB M&A specialists are for - sorting the finance?

Weren’t M&A specialists at the fore of encouraging companies to over gear themselves on (then) cheap debt buying other businesses at ridiculously full prices? You had fees and more to the point BONUSES to earn after all.

Isn’t the massive deleveraging now being forced on business worldwide at the route of the global recession we are all heading for lock, stock & barrel.

As different as this may look from Contrary Wharf believe me it is not about a few 10,000s of ex bankers being out of work. We are all paying to keep the banks safe now, because the banking system “is essential”. But others just have to sink or swim.

So how is this IB any less responsible than the other types of IB alluded in comments here? And why should M&A expect any more sympathy or understanding from anybody other than bankers?

Or is just that I am dumb and do not understand your very clever and complicated world?

Of course we in advertising are also often snake oil salesmen, but compared to you lot we would be cheap at twice the price!

And the arty types will of course be blaming you for undermining their own mini boom of selling over priced bits of paper, metal and other “innovative” tat to willingly gullible punters (with more money on paper than sense) as well, many IB’s included,
……you all said it would last forever….its not fair….

What price a convertible bond or a Damien this week?
Posted by: James, 44, advertising | October 16th, 2008 at 6:25 pm | Report this comment
Tell them investment banking is like art, it is an absolutely improductive activity, but that unlike art, these days it is the most convenient way to expose the absurdity of our contemporary society. Then slowly drift conversation on your audience’s own compromises with the golden calf or dictatorial regimes and end conversation asking yourself out loud whether a pile of excrements with a price tag on it is still art, unless it is modern finance?
Posted by: Charls | October 16th, 2008 at 6:29 pm | Report this comment
get a sense of humor fast. Every weak child learns the bullies will focus on him. Some discover that making ‘em laugh sets one free.
Posted by: mitch | October 16th, 2008 at 6:53 pm | Report this comment
Parts of this one don’t specifically apply to the M&A guy but to most people in the city who are in a similar situation.

As an ex-city worker I often get asked for my opinions on finance and investment.

For the last three years I have been telling people to get out the stockmarket because it was all over-geared and over-priced. Right now I’m telling people to get back in. Do my friends hate me as an ex-finance worker? No, they appreciate having someone around who can help them a bit.

Question is, have you been giving similar general advice to your friends and thereby protecting them from the 40 percent fall in the stockmarket, or were you caught by surprise like most of the rest of the herd-thinkers you work with?

If the latter then your friends opinions of you may make sense. If the former then you can say that part of what city people do is to protect people from those problems.

Also, they get them off the idea that governments are spending this money on rescuing banks. They are lending money to banks which they will get back with interest.
Posted by: Samec, 30 | October 16th, 2008 at 6:55 pm | Report this comment
Oh the self-delusion. You think everyone hates you because of the credit crunch? Wake up. Everyone hated you already. They only came round for the fine burgundy and the chance of a commission.
Now that the herd has sensed weakness, they’re turning and moving in for the kill.
Mind you, on the bright side, I wouldn’t be too worried about the people from the art world. Once your burgundy dries up they’ll be off and you’ll find out who your friends really are.
Posted by: Mr CC | October 16th, 2008 at 6:59 pm | Report this comment
[…] Professional Slacker everything that goes around comes around « “Das Wichtigste ist jetzt, das Vertrauen wiederherzustellen” “Dr. Sommer” in der “Bravo” war gestern - Lest “Dear Lucy” in der Financial Times Oktober 16, 2008 Es ist einfach zum Niederknien, was man dort lesen darf: “Should I be ashamed for being an investment banker? At a dinner party last Saturday I was asked by a fellow guest what I did and I said I was an investment banker. I might as well have said I was a paedophile… […]
Posted by: “Dr. Sommer” in der “Bravo” war gestern - Lest “Dear Lucy” in der Financial Times « Professional Slacker | October 16th, 2008 at 7:09 pm | Report this comment
Guiltless? Don’t make me laugh. So all your M&A work was 100% equity funded? No sorry, it was financed by Shariah capital wasn’t it? And you didn’t so much as touch a leveraged buy-out did you?

David Townsend, 36, Private Equity Principal
Posted by: David Townsend | October 16th, 2008 at 7:11 pm | Report this comment
It is hard to muster any pity to feel bad about you. And worst of it is you don’t even have the self respect to address the problem like a grown up.
If that’s any solace, you won’t have these friends anymore because there won’t be any investment banker to buy their animal heads in formadehyde.
Well done. Pride should fill you. (And hopefully life as a librarian expect you - no way, too good for you)
Posted by: male, latin america | October 16th, 2008 at 7:12 pm | Report this comment
Up until 2 months ago you were the smartest guy in the room, now you are a villian. Be proud of your career selection! You, and not them, have mastered this trade and like it or not, the fundamentals of bringing the food you ate at the party to the table were seeped in your industry. This too shall pass…their interest in you is as good as up to the start of Madonna’s divorce trial
Posted by: Allan Howell | October 16th, 2008 at 7:20 pm | Report this comment
I think you’re being overly sensitive about the situation. As an i-banker, you’re sufficiently well-compensated to mitigate the occasional awkward social situation. Since you’ve stated your occupation in the present tense, implying that you’re still employed, be happy about that.
Posted by: Eric | October 16th, 2008 at 8:05 pm | Report this comment
Whores and thieves aren’t ashamed of what they do, so you shouldn’t be either.

If you prefer, you can always say you’re a male prostitute.
Posted by: Alex | October 16th, 2008 at 8:12 pm | Report this comment
You’re much more matured than you make out, and you already know how to deal with this type of situation. I think your just bating us to gauge an opinion or testing Joe public’s response. And now you have an answer(s). Not much support and generally unhelpful?. I used to do a lot of M&A work merging corporate IT infrastructures and it was hard work, one needed to be thick skinned and robust. The justification of most M&A activities is to add value and save money and that means efficiencies and…. reducing staffing levels!. You can’t do that being wet behind the ears. And I’m sure you’re just as robust. Good luck for the coming year, I hope you can keep your job, I was not so lucky.
Posted by: Peter, 45,male, IT consultant | October 16th, 2008 at 8:59 pm | Report this comment
Now all other asset classes must share the sins of credit derivatives. let’s face it ..the culture within investment banks and the slavish pursuit of profit at the expense of logic led us to this present demise.

Perhaps if employees questioned their business unit heads more even at the expense of their bonus; maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation.

fondly; a bemused recruiter; who knew this could be the ultimate outcome.

BTW- pls feel to contact us if you are an infrastructure finance Latin American expert
Posted by: Jackie , 32, recruiter | October 16th, 2008 at 9:13 pm | Report this comment
Confess and beg for another glass of wine.
Posted by: carla | October 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm | Report this comment
I think if you work for certain type of job/company then you should not disclose to other person otherwise you will be murdered. Example is London Underground/Metronet, parking warden, …..

Kazu, 38, male, unemployed(former banker)
Posted by: Kazu | October 16th, 2008 at 9:57 pm | Report this comment
Fear of what they don’t understand is fashionable, particularly in circles (like the art world) where folks pride themselves on being “alternative” yet hypocritically all strive to make millions by selling art. Artists, engineers, etc. are no better than you, and can lay no claim to “creating” anything more than an investment banker. They are just as greedy as the next one. So take pride in what you do, and pity those who criticize you for your important work. They are indeed the true neanderthals.
Posted by: Paul, 30, NY | October 16th, 2008 at 10:25 pm | Report this comment
I am most surprised as still a lot of people do not say that the first two bailouts that the UK had to engage in (i.e. Northern Rock & B&B) are as much the fault of Mr. Brown and the FSA and not just the banks’. Not to mention the fault of delirious greedy property-ladder-climbers that took a step far longer than their legs (that is: buying properties with no money) and defaulted on their mortgages. Sorry, for many of them I have no pity. That was pure greed and plain stupid, and I am referring to those who did this as a speculation not just out of need of putting a roof over their heads. There’s lots of blame to go around. As for Mr. Brown and Co. he did nothing for 10 years to stop the madness of our very own sub-prime. And neither did the FSA.
Posted by: Lucy, 34, Female | October 16th, 2008 at 10:36 pm | Report this comment
Get over yourself - Mr ashamed. We’re all to blame, and we all got rich. I think your wife’s friends sound like typical liberal know-nothings (and v bad-mannered - don’t dine with them again). Let them crow on, then go home to their grotty dwellings. I do hope your wife joined in the argument (on your side). If not, get rid.
Posted by: DML, 43, female, banker | October 16th, 2008 at 10:37 pm | Report this comment
Frankly I’m tired of this persecution against investment bankers and traders. Now that many of us are down and wounded we become easy targets. IB are complex organisations with employees involving in vastly different business areas, some completely unrelated to this credit crisis. To bundle everyone under the umbrella of “greedy banker” just shows ignorance. Sure there are those who regularly receive super-size bonus, and your average banker will probably take home multiples of the national average - but before you start throwing stones at them please know i) to get to that position most junior banker regularly slaves 100-hour weeks for years, ii) job is incredibly stressful, iii) there are no job security, banks tend over hire or over fire in business cycles, iv) big portion of compensation is in deferred shares with 2 to 3 year vesting periods, so a lot of them would have seen unvested share values plummet >50% this year, v) longevity is rare, few people stay in the industry for >10 years, either moving onto less stressful work or being replaced by younger competitions. Like other industry that promote star system (think footballer and entertainers), people are rewarded big money because they have exceptional performance. Statistically there is a survival bias, i.e. people whom you see in banks getting paid well are by definition those excel in their job and have survived in this business.

To me, this “credit crisis” is just a bubble that has burst. History of economic development are full of boom-bust cycles. Just like the dot-com bubble in late 90s when valuations of high tech companies have gone lofty and unrealistic, in this credit bubble the participants made overly optimistic projections on house prices, (low) corporate default rates, (low) mortgage delinquency rates and availability of cheap money - leading to unrealistic valuations. It just so happen that credit products is not a retail game but participants are other banks, hedge funds, money managers and insurance companies and other financial institutions. These professionals are no more greedy or reckless than the mom and pap who bought dot-com shares in the 90s. Sure because of the scale of the credit market, this bubble bursting could have more severe implication for the real economy but the underlying root cause is no different than other bubbles. The industry is going through a phase of creative-destruction and all these schadenfreude is starting to get old
Posted by: Alex Young, 33, Male, Credit Derivatives Trader | October 17th, 2008 at 12:01 am | Report this comment
For heaven’s sake. What kind of world do we live in when investment bankers are worried about what their artsy fartsy friends think?

Get over yourself, get out there and do some deals!
Posted by: Dave the American | October 17th, 2008 at 12:40 am | Report this comment
Nothing to be ashamed of as an M&A banker but I do believe a little white lie is helpful for those in situations like this. Furthermore as a banker, I think you should be readily armed and equipped to use that little white lie to direct the conversation to your own benefit. Make the arties understand why you need their services, direct the conversation to the fact that you enable companies to provide superior services and products, directly impacting every day what the arties need, namely those D&G ivory rimmed glasses the arties are wearing!
Associate, female, 27, M&A banker
Posted by: banker | October 17th, 2008 at 1:07 am | Report this comment
An old trick someone else I knew once suggested worked very well in avoiding the subject entirely. Keep your trousers loose so that when you turn to talk to them and say: ‘I’m an investment banker/master of the universe - and my trousers just seem to have fallen down, excuse me’. That will totally throw them, no need to talk about the awkward profession you have chosen.
Posted by: Bank On It | October 17th, 2008 at 2:25 am | Report this comment
This is not shocking. My own brother last week said “suck it up” when told my partner had been fired from his asset management job. Whilst I was angry at this unsympathetic comment (he did apologise), later I came to realise that all those Christmases with fancy presents and luxury holidays probably made family members jealous.

I think its a justified reaction, less fortunate, but just as hard-working and clever people are glad that bankers have receieved their come-uppance.

Simply, bankers are over-paid - why can’t people just accept that fact???
Posted by: Ashamed_Banker | October 17th, 2008 at 2:37 am | Report this comment
Either completely disdain to engage them, or take advantage of the happy fact that their views consist of presumption and populist ignorance to challenge them and show their opinions to be vacuous and of no weight whatsoever.

Really: I cannot understand why you are bothered in the least. If ever there was a field not qualified to comment upon arcane finance, and if ever there was a field for which it would be hypocritical to lay claims of others being parasitic upon wealth, claiming fantastical asset values, indulging in shows of luxury and the like, it is the high arts.
Posted by: Merchant banker, Australia | October 17th, 2008 at 3:40 am | Report this comment
Were you embarrassed when you were conning innocent men, women and wee children out of their futures? Of course not. Your work has been in an industry which, it turns out, is not far removed from that identified in earlier years by red lights on the front porch. You have been screwing the public and now that the police have raided your house of ill repute, you are exposed for what you have been. You have a simple solution to the problem you now have with those who once found your type of service enjoyable:
Tell everyone you weren’t just an employee in that failed financial whorehouse, you were the owner and proprietor and you are now being compensated handsomely by the government. That will impress everyone; success always does. Failure is not an option in the great game of deception.
Posted by: Wes Pedersen, Washington, DC | October 17th, 2008 at 5:38 am | Report this comment
The best thing to do is not to go to parties.
Posted by: Anthony Andrews | October 17th, 2008 at 6:05 am | Report this comment
If you’re asking other investment bankers the answer is probably no; otherwise its probably yes.
Posted by: bentoth | October 17th, 2008 at 6:56 am | Report this comment
I live in Eastern Europe, and we don’t hear people accusing other people of being overpaid. The reason, well in a capitalist economy everyone is paid the same, i.e. whatever someone is willing to offer based on the skills that person has or is willing to put in the time to learn.

In this country the rhetoric of “exploitation” and suchlike isn’t heard so often because people remember all too well what really happens when you move away from capitalism and you try to run a society where bankers earn the same as everyone else.
Posted by: Samec, 30 | October 17th, 2008 at 7:25 am | Report this comment
If it happens again, you can try asking your wife’s artist friends to stuff it up their .. um.. snotty noses.
Posted by: Venkat | October 17th, 2008 at 8:52 am | Report this comment
Tell them you work in a whorehouse, it’s only a slight difference. Bankers create nothing of any value, they are just middle men who have taken a huge slice of the pie. Not content with that have found ways to obfuscate everything, take out even more and then crash the whole system so that millions will lose their jobs and homes.

M&A, first put it together to make money then take it apart to make more. I’m glad the arts people can see it how it is, I was beginning to think the country was full of sheeple.
Posted by: tonyw | October 17th, 2008 at 9:21 am | Report this comment
I work in a rating agency. I didn’t have to wait for this crisis to be insulted in diners about my job. I just pretend is a funny joke. Talking about work is boring anyway, so just try discussing something a bit more entertaining to change the topic.
Posted by: Blandine | October 17th, 2008 at 9:22 am | Report this comment
A sensitive investment banker……….. whatever next?

Richard, male, 60+, voluntary worker
Posted by: richard lassen | October 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am | Report this comment
I work in banking as well, almost by chance, not being able to make a decent living as an engineer. From the beginning I was shocked by the low level of professional skills investment bankers have, and even more by their willingness to trade their integrity for a handful of coins. Investment banking drifted from a necessary, deal making environment, to a corrupt shameless run for money. People like you and I wrapped idiotic structures without any economic basis nto fancy called packages and sold them, for a big fat commission, to credule naive hard working people. Yes, you should be ashamed, and so should all of us, leaches with low skills and integrity sucking money from hard earned cash. Let’s not be fooled by rhetoric about long hours and so on, let’s be honest and admit how much we abused a system who trusted rotten greedy individuals dressed in fancy suits and expensive ties.
Posted by: Andrew | October 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am | Report this comment
Coming from the ‘Art Scene’ I give you my opinion.

I think somethings not quite right with the system. While everyone agrees that market dynamics are fundamental and necessary, and that Investment Banking plays its necessary role in this context it just can’t be that these people reap such enormous and unjustified profits without actually contributing something.

I think the bailouts are not morally and ethically right, they’re just a necessary evil because everyone’s dependent on the economic system. There’s simply no choice. But it revolts me that my hard-earned money is going to rescue a system with no morality and where the actual proponents of the disaster sit cosily in their luxurious villas and townhouses. It’s those guys who should pay.

Going back to Socialism and planned economy is of course not an option but there needs to be a realistic approach on how these market could be better regulated.
Posted by: Philippe Galowich | October 17th, 2008 at 10:10 am | Report this comment
Not a solution to your problem but an explanation for why investment bankers are not popular :

We start with two postulates, taken as true :
Knowledge is Power i.e. K = P ….. (i)
Time is Money i.e. T = M ….. (ii)

Power is defined as the Work done in an unit of Time i.e. P = W / T ….. (iii)

Substituting in (i), we get K = W / T
Further, using (ii), we get K = W / M

Solving for M, we get M = W / K

Which means that as K approaches 0, M tends to infinity, irrespective of W i.e.

As Knowledge approaches 0, Money tends to infinity, irrespective of the Work done.
Posted by: Out of the box, 44, Male | October 17th, 2008 at 10:11 am | Report this comment
You were harangued by people from the art world ? Are these the same people who duped former cash-rich bankers into thinking that the piece of rubbish masquerading as modern art that their 3 year old child could have painted was really worth £50,000 ? And you had neither the sense of humour to make light of the situation, nor the balls to stand up to them ? You are obviously in the correct social set, as you clearly deserve each other. You should invite them all to dinner at your house and report back to us on the outcome.
Posted by: Jules (Headhunter, London) | October 17th, 2008 at 10:36 am | Report this comment
You have my sympathies but it’s not going to get any easier for you. Read some books about France or Holland after the Liberation to get a better understanding of your current situation. Paradigm changes are always painful and unfair for some. Just like, say, Nazi concentration camp guards or the Vichy government, you were doing a job to the best of your abilities that was valued and encouraged by your political leaders until things predictably went tits up and they started looking around for scapegoats. Then the goalposts change and you start getting all the blame. I’d plead naivete and stupidity and hope for the best.
Posted by: Tam | October 17th, 2008 at 10:45 am | Report this comment
There is some staggering advice here by some people who assume the intellectual superiority of investment bankers. In my humble experience of investment bankers, reinforced by some of this advice, I find that they almost invariably have a grossly overinflated sense of their own self-worth and an intellectual arrogance in which are found the seeds of self-destruction.

Frankly, I can’t understand why they and artists should fall out in the slightest.

Army Colonel, 47.
Posted by: Jonathan | October 17th, 2008 at 11:08 am | Report this comment
You need to upgrade to a company wife.
Posted by: M Woolf | October 17th, 2008 at 11:08 am | Report this comment
I highly commend the post by: “Out of the box, 44, Male” about 5 posts earlier than this one

If only all the IB financial models had been as accurate and as well thought through as this one you would not be having this dinner party problem!
Posted by: Jack, 40, Research Director | October 17th, 2008 at 11:31 am | Report this comment
You could always tell them the joke that Jamie Dimon CEO of JP Morgan has been telling for the past 2 years (I guess he foresaw some of this). The Devil appears to an investment banker and offers him anything he wants, riches, fame, adoration, whatever in exchange for his immortal soul. The investment banker thinks for a few seconds then says: “OK, but what’s the catch ?”
Posted by: John - age 55 | October 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am | Report this comment
I thought Ben, 24, male, private equity executive was funny!

“How about “corporate finance”, “corporate advisory” or “Mergers and acquisitions”, or “I give businesses financial advice that maximises value for its stakeholders”.”

See Lucy - the bullsh*t industry isn’t dead yet! That UBS ad about breakfast being considered research still makes me cringe every time…
Posted by: aw, director, female, 37 | October 17th, 2008 at 12:11 pm | Report this comment
you have no reason to be ashamed, remember there are still tons of people who would like to be in your shoes. Asset bubbles come and go, and the blame game starts to turn, but recall despite the collapse of banking, there still are double the size of people who still view it as a very enticing career, and that s the glory of this profession. bankers are the lungs of the economy and they have the capability to make a difference to the economy, there will be mishaps but the significance of banking cannot fade.
Posted by: vash | October 17th, 2008 at 12:26 pm | Report this comment
oh dear, so no-one appreciates you outside your own precocious little circle any more. I am sure you’ll feel better after a good long lunch with a few mates, hey?
Posted by: Richard, 48, director | October 17th, 2008 at 1:06 pm | Report this comment
Yes.

Gordon Ashworth
46, male, Finance Director.
Posted by: Gordon Ashworth | October 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm | Report this comment
A librarian? Are you mad man? They think that they are so clever just because they read books all day, not to mention the huge power trip that they go off on when it comes to hitting you for overdue fines. However, what really gets me is their zero-tolerance suppression of free speech. Open your mouth for a second and they are hushing you. Fascists.

Stick to investment banking. A far more respectable profession.
Posted by: Longman Oz | October 17th, 2008 at 1:35 pm | Report this comment
No. I’m an M&A banker and still proud of what I do - very few people could do the job, and I’m being serious. 65 hour weeks minimum, over 100 hours if you have a deal in need of some love; requiring precise analysis and level-headed advice under pressure. Clients pay us well because of all these things.

M&A has very little, if anything, to do with the excess lending which has caused the financial market crisis (in fact I do think the banks are getting too tough a time of it; we didn’t force people to take the money).
Posted by: Asif | October 17th, 2008 at 1:56 pm | Report this comment
“You should feel guilty. The City is a casino..nothing less and everyday you sat down at the wheel.
You invenetd ever increasing complexity and lost common sense..all to chase the extra point of return.
Your industry, and its lax regulation by the authorities, have caused untold damage.
Also..you guys are massively overated..not least by yourselves.
Welcome to the real world now buddy. You will find its a pretty tough place.
Good luck.”

You smarmy, ignorant prat. If you don’t like the economy, go and be a subsistence farmer. Like it or not, your own lifestyle has benefitted from the work that these people do. You are just too stupid to understand it. The FT is not the place to regurgitate whatever half-arsed claptrap you read in the Express this morning.
Posted by: Rick | October 17th, 2008 at 2:18 pm | Report this comment
Dear Ibanker,

You have nothing to be ashamed of at all. If explaining how you were not responsible for the financial crisis does not rest the aggressive tones, dont bother explaining further.

Anyone who invests should at the very least know the risk - return tradeoff involved. So they lost money! Remind them of how your job made them all the money it has. Many seem to have forgotten that profits / returns were never Guaranteed. Perhaps its time for people to start reading the long lists of disclaimers.

As a fellow Ibanker, I have tried explaining to many about what has happened and how I have no reason to feel stupid about the crisis. If they cannot understand different roles then here is the bright side: today’s investor did not know enough about the investments he/she made (or the industry losses they speak of) and we have reason to believe that tomorrow’s investor will be more sophisticated and help develop a better and more stable market. Plus, had it been you or I who really screwed up - we wouldnt have the same jobs right now would we?
Posted by: Moose | October 17th, 2008 at 2:19 pm | Report this comment
Sadly you are at fault and you will just have to muster up the courage to accept it. You aren’t the only one at fault and, indeed, many of those artists whose company you shared are also at fault, but they don’t know it.

Might I suggest you do what I do at parties, not because I’m an investment banker (perish the thought) but because my real occupation is too complicated to explain. I have written a few books of erotica along with my partner. We refer to it as mid life mischief. So, when I’m asked at a Harley Street party what I do, I reply simply:

“I write porn.”

It either effectively deflects someone who was bound to be boring or conjures up some spirited and entertaining dialogue.

Good luck working for the government.
Posted by: Stephen | October 17th, 2008 at 2:47 pm | Report this comment
I’m staggered you’ve got to 42 without - apparently - ever having to see the value of what you do from other people’s perspective. And if you’re unable to put up a convincing case for what you’ve done for two decades, how on earth can you persuade clients to trust you?

So two options. You might create a believable, true, story that won’t arouse ire. Or understand the value of what you do, and develop an elevator pitch for it to use at parties that’s as convincing as the one-minute summary every entrepreneur d

ft.com/dearlucy

Should I be ashamed for being an investment banker?

October 16, 2008

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