It is half term and I have sent my 10-year-old son off on his own to an adventure camp. The centre called last night to say he is really homesick, and I have spoken to them again this morning and he is still miserable. I would like to get into the car now and pick him up but if I go today it will mean being out of the office, and missing my annual appraisal with my boss – and she is famously disapproving of women who let their children interfere with their work. Should I let my unhappy son wait another day? Or should I go and get him now? In which case, do I tell my boss the truth – that my son isn’t even ill, just homesick – or do I pretend to be ill myself?
Manager, female 39         Continue reading "‘Should I risk my annual appraisal over a family emergency?’" »

I have been working at a financial institution in New York City for two years, and have a problem: I’m not given any work to do. I find myself asking my boss for work or offering my help in projects team members are working on. Even now, with quarterly reports, everyone in my group except me is submerged in work. At first I liked being slack, but now it is affecting my career and making me emotionally stressed. In a recent restructuring others were fired but I wasn’t. I don’t understand why this is happening and what I should do. Why would a superior do something like this to his or her subordinates if they are not going to fire them?
Analyst, male, 26

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A new recruit recently joined my team – an MBA graduate fresh out of London Business School. To the annoyance of all other team members, he is living up to the MBA acronym, Mighty Big Attitude. I am all for supporting up-and-coming leaders, but not to the detriment of others. He assumes he is on a fast track to senior management, name-drops his MBA theories, and is reluctant to do tasks he considers beneath him. How should I approach him about his manner in the work environment? I have no doubt he is a skilled worker but his cocksure demeanour and lack of team awareness must surely be addressed?
Manager, male, 51

Lucy’s Answer

There are few sights quite as ugly to someone with your length of experience as a jargon-talking young whippersnapper who thinks he is destined for the top.

Alas, one of the reasons the sight is so horrible is that the whippersnapper is likely to be right – I fear this one may advance far faster and further than you ever have. He talks the language, he has the ambition and people like him have a sickening way of doing really well.

I am assuming that you didn’t hire him yourself? If you did you are very silly: obnoxiousness is one of the few things that show up clearly at interview. It sounds as if you had him thrust upon you by someone senior, who saw promise, rather than a cocksure idiot jabbering about strategic initiatives.

In this case there is no point in wasting your time trying to coach him. He isn’t going to listen to you, as you are on the wrong side of the culture gap. You think he is pushy; I bet he thinks you are a has-been and a failure.

As his line manager it is simply your job to ensure that he does what he is supposed to do, whether he thinks it beneath him or not. If he refuses you have every right to come down on him very hard.

Either way I don’t think this situation will last long. Probably he will get promoted on to someone else’s team and you won’t have to think about him any more.

If he doesn’t, there is a good chance he’ll quit. It is encouraging that everyone else on your team dislikes him. Unless he is really thick-skinned, he may find that being ostracised in a job that he thinks is below him is not really a compelling value proposition. 

With any luck he will take his awful jargon to a management consultancy, where both his words and his attitude would fit in nicely.

I recently submitted an expense report following a routine trip to Frankfurt. Instead of attaching the total bill, I mistakenly attached a fully itemised printout. Unfortunately, this was returned to me, copied to my boss, with one item – “Private Room Entertainment: Adults Only Movie” – highlighted as an illegitimate business expense. I ordered the film more out of curiosity than habit and am usually meticulous over my expenses. I work in the finance department and am a loyal and trusted employee. The form was seen by my secretary, though, and I am anxious that it may become a topic of conversation with her lunchtime colleagues. How do I salvage the situation?
Manager, Male, 43

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My husband’s large aerospace company "went virtual" a year ago. He now works at home from 6.15am to 4.15pm Monday through Friday. He never takes a vacation and is in the house all day long. He has started complaining to friends and co-workers that being with me 24/7 is driving him crazy. It is driving me crazy too and I don’t know what to do about it. I could walk the streets all day - which might at least make me very fit - or I could sit in Starbucks all day and chat with other grande latte drinkers who have nowhere else to go. These don’t seem ideal solutions but I don’t see how we can continue to be in the house all day without destroying our marriage.
Housewife, female, 66

I work for a company in Russia and have an exceptionally attractive young woman on my team. She is 28, blonde, and quite beautiful. The problem is that my boss has developed a crush on her. Actually I think it may be rather more than a crush. I am almost certain that they are having an affair, depsite the twenty year gap in their ages and the fact that he is married. She is bright and capable, though somewhat over-promoted, and this is making it very difficult to manage my team. Most of them are males, many of whom also seem to have crushes on her, but now resent her too. Any ideas on how to manage the situation?
Manager, male, 35

I have been suffering from depression on and off for about 10 years. Recently it has got so bad that I have had to take time off work. I was forced to tell my ultimate boss, who has been fairly supportive, though clearly knows nothing about mental illness. I work at a bank, where the culture is macho. My persona at work is aggressive and upbeat, so I fear that if anybody finds out I am severely depressed they will conclude I’ve either gone mad or can’t hack the job. So far I have told them I’ve got a virus, but I don’t know if people believe me, and I think they may be talking behind my back. In some ways it might be easier to tell the truth, but I fear for the consequences.

I work for a  TV company which is in the process of refurbishing its building. For the last ten years I have had my own office, but now I am told that the new layout will be open plan. The chief executive will have his own office (as well as a desk on the floor) but all the other directors will no longer have any  private spaces.  I feel really upset about this. I stopped working open plan 10  years ago, and  I need the  privacy of my office. I hold constant meetings with clients, and I don’t see why my PA should spend her entire life booking meeting rooms. Moreover I feel too old and experienced to sit surrounded by 20 year olds.

My question is this: should I kick up a huge fuss? I think I have a reasonable chance of getting my own way. But at what cost? I am concerned that the six other directors are pretending to welcome open plan, and if I am the only one who protests might I seem like a status conscious dinosaur?  Also if I decide to fight but lose the battle then my card might be marked as far as my boss is concerned. But equally this is an issue that matters to me and to lie down and take it seems, frankly, feeble.
TV executive, male, 52

I am an ambitious woman in my mid-thirties working for a large multinational. My immediate boss is blocking my promotion because he resents me and is threatened by my talents. My strategy has been to find a mentor above him in the hierarchy. This seemed to be working: I have secured a true champion, who has told me repeatedly that I have what it takes to reach the very top. However, recently I’ve started to suspect he may have ulterior motives - he keeps on inviting me out to drinks on my own after work. Now I fear I’ve alienated my boss by going over his head, and risk losing my mentor if I refuse his advances. How do I get out of this tricky situation?

I have invited my boss and his wife to dinner, but am in a quandary over who else to ask. He is a formidable man who doesn’t find small talk easy. If I invite my most amusing friends I risk inflicting a boring evening on them. But if I ask some other dull people I owe hospitality to, I risk boring my boss. I could play safe and invite other colleagues, but that is politically complex and might make it look as if I have no friends at all. I’m also uncertain about the food: when we went to his house, dinner was very formal and served by a housekeeper. Should we get out our best china or do we deliberately make it a casual supper? And how do I stop my wife from divorcing me as she says she is dreading the whole event?
Manager, male, 34