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I am an ambitious woman in my mid-thirties working for a large multinational. My immediate boss is blocking my promotion because he resents me and is threatened by my talents. My strategy has been to find a mentor above him in the hierarchy. This seemed to be working: I have secured a true champion, who has told me repeatedly that I have what it takes to reach the very top. However, recently I’ve started to suspect he may have ulterior motives - he keeps on inviting me out to drinks on my own after work. Now I fear I’ve alienated my boss by going over his head, and risk losing my mentor if I refuse his advances. How do I get out of this tricky situation?

I have invited my boss and his wife to dinner, but am in a quandary over who else to ask. He is a formidable man who doesn’t find small talk easy. If I invite my most amusing friends I risk inflicting a boring evening on them. But if I ask some other dull people I owe hospitality to, I risk boring my boss. I could play safe and invite other colleagues, but that is politically complex and might make it look as if I have no friends at all. I’m also uncertain about the food: when we went to his house, dinner was very formal and served by a housekeeper. Should we get out our best china or do we deliberately make it a casual supper? And how do I stop my wife from divorcing me as she says she is dreading the whole event?
Manager, male, 34

I have been in the same job for seven years, but in the last twelve months have started to feel stale and tired and bored and somewhat burnt out. I used to love the challenges of the job but as I get older I find I’m becoming more cynical about the work itself and am also losing respect for my peers and about the  people I manage. I also fear that I may be doing my job rather less well than I used to, although no one seems to have noticed anything. Indeed, my bonus last year was the biggest I have received to date. I could go and work for another company, but I think that as the problem is inside me, I’d just be moving it from one place to another without changing anything. I could stop altogether, but I don’t have any hobbies in particular, and in any case I have two young children in private school and am reliant on the (generous) salary. Is there anything I can do to get my enthusiasm back? Or are there any consoling thoughts that make working without enthusiasm more tolerable?
Senior manager, male, 49

I work in a mainly male dominated environment; when I attend the weekly
management meeting with my peers (I am the only female) my colleagues assume
that it is my responsibility to ensure that the Minutes and Agenda are
printed and circulated in advance of the meeting (when the PA is on
holiday/ill) or ask me where the documents are if they are late arriving - I
think this may be because I am the only female within the group. How do I
rebuff such requests without sounding like a "jobsworth" - whilst keeping my
reputation in tact?

- Commercial Manager, female, 39

I am a journalist working in a large media group. I have just received a very friendly message from the chairman (whom I have only met once) asking me if his nephew can do work experience with me for a week.

I’m not at all keen, partly because it is extra work having to take a teenager to press conferences, but also because I don’t want this kid reporting back on how I am doing. However, it might be mad to say No. Ours is an organisation that lurches from one crisis to another and we all live in constant fear of redundancy. Surely no one fires someone who has just done their nephew a good turn?

Journalist, male, 36

My wife and I are due to buy dinner for a client on Saturday night, by way of thanks for a stay in France. We have a booking at a top London restaurant - but it coincides with the Rugby World Cup final. I think England’s remarkable progress in this tournament is worth witnessing to the end - a view not shared by my client or our respective wives. I wanted to delay the booking, but my pregnant wife vetoed this as too late. It is the story of my life to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Is this destined to be another example, or is there a polite way for me to extricate myself and watch the final?
Male, company director, 43

I work for a large, multinational organisation and my team employs a placement student every year. Our new student joined us in August this year and it has become very obvious that her thumb-sucking is more than a few private moments of "self-soothing". She sucks her thumb during meetings and at her desk. She also sucks her thumb at the lunch table. I find it very hard to take her seriously, but not only that, I feel that the personal hygiene aspect is making it difficult for me to work with her; most recently, when handing me some work, I got treated to a wet thumb on my hand. Can I say something or am I being unreasonable, as most people have personal traits and habits?

Participants: We don’t require your name, but please provide your age, gender and occupation.

I work closely with someone I think is less able than I am and a lot lazier. In the past I’ve wondered if I should point this out to my manager, but have decided not to as I like my workmate and don’t see what is to be gained by making a fuss. However, by mistake I have just opened a payslip that I thought was mine but was his. It turns out that he earns nearly 30 per cent more than I do. I now feel furious and want to do something. If I tell my boss that I know I am paid less than my colleague he will tell me to mind my own business. How can I get more money and recognition without looking like a creep and a spy?
Analyst, male, 31

I head up a small team in the financial sector, and am currently looking for an additional member. At present all six team members are male. The two strongest candidates I have interviewed are both very high-calibre, one male and one female. Of the two, the male looks slightly better on paper and seems more easygoing. I would offer him the job without more ado.

However our bank is keen on promoting women - indeed my own performance and bonus depends on this to some extent - "values diversity" is one of 15 key behaviours that I am judged against. However it is my main task to ensure that my team delivers the very best performance possible. To choose a woman just because she is a woman when there is a (slightly) better male candidate available goes against everything that I have based my career upon, and I don’t know if I have the heart to do it. What should I do?

Banker, male, 39

Participants: We don’t require names, but please provide your occupation, age and gender with your replies.

I work in a creative advertising agency. We are a young team and it’s all very informal. My boss (who is quite cool and who I get on with well with) has just asked to be my friend on Facebook and I don’t know what to do. It’s not that I’ve got lots of sexy pictures of myself that I don’t want him to see. It’s just that I feel invaded - I’m passionate about my work but want to keep it separate from the rest of my life. I definitely don’t want him spying on what I say to my friends. He has also asked two other people in the office who have said yes and they seem to think it’s fine. But I don’t want to. Can I say no without damaging my career?

Advertising creative, female, 26

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