The World

I keep being told that there is no such thing as the rule of law here in Russia. And now I know it’s true. That was never a penalty.

For those of you who have not been following events in Moscow, I refer to the Russia-England football match, and the unjustly awarded spot kick that turned the game. This evening I had decided to give maximum space to my inner moron – and so quietly excused myself from a dinner with Russian NGOs, in favour of watching the match on television. All England needed was a draw – and with just 20 minutes to go, we were winning. Wayne Rooney – that epitome of all that is finest in English manhood – had put England ahead. But then came the imaginary penalty, awarded against poor, bewildered Rooney. Then another Russian goal (fluke) – and we had lost.

After this debacle, I can feel my attitude to Putin’s Russia hardening. I feel pretty sorry for myself – but even sorrier for the English supporters. My flight over to Moscow was stuffed with them. Who are these people with the money and the time to fly to Russia in the middle of the week to watch a football match? Not many of the fans on the plane struck me as the kind of people with private incomes. I asked one of them, why he was doing it and he replied  – “We are England” – an impressive, if bafflingly terse response.

In response to Pacifist’s taunting question – no, I didn’t have a bet on the match. I couldn’t find a branch of Ladbrokes on Novy Arbat. (There are plenty of McDonalds however – although that will be of no interest to you, given your boycott of American products.)

And in response to any questions my editors might have – yes, I am working hard. I have had all sort of high-level meetings of a secret nature. I will be writing about those in due course.