The World

I know it’s for my own good, but I am finding airline security-measures increasingly irritating. The endless standing in line and the constant packing and unpacking would be marginally more tolerable, if the security demands were a bit more consistent. But they vary a lot, depending on which country you happen to be passing through.

The Americans are shoe-fetishists. It is impossible to go through an American airport without being asked to take off your shoes. The British go through shoe phases – but are permanently obsessed with liquids. So at Heathrow, sometimes they ask to x-ray your shoes, and sometimes not. But they always want to take a look at your toothpaste and deoderant – the British Airports Authority have developed a nice line in selling clear plastic bags for travellers to put their toiletries in. Meanwhile at Frankfurt airport yesterday, I wasn’t asked to take off my shoes or put my liquids in a clear bag. But they did want me to take my belt off. Perhaps they were worried I might try to hang myself?

Attitudes to computers also vary. Some airports insist that you take your laptop out; the real obsessives ask you to turn it on. Others seem happy to x-ray it in the bag.

Why all this variation? It seems to depend on which plot has been aimed at which country. The fact that the failed shoe-bomber made it to the US seems to have made a lasting impression on the Americans. The plotters who were alleged to want to make bombs out of liquids came from Britain – hence our interest in toiletries.

This seems silly. First, there is a distinct stable-door aspect. It seems unlikely that the same methods will be tried twice, although I suppose you can’t risk it. Second, since airline travel is international – perhaps the various regulators could put their heads together and standardise what they are looking for. Then, at least, one could go through security on autopilot.