April 5, 2008
Dear Economist: Should I bring good wine when invited to dinner?
Dear Economist,
When invited to dinner, I am often unsure whether to bring good wine. If I take an expensive bottle, it may go unappreciated – either through lack of appreciation or people not seeing what I’ve brought. Taking plonk means I can get a free ride on others’ largesse, but my tightfistedness could get rumbled – what do you recommend?
Alex, Geneva
Dear Alex,
A simple bit of game theory will produce the optimal strategy. If this is a repeated interaction with people who know their wine, it’s best to produce a good bottle. Reciprocity for your generosity will make this a good approach in the long run.
You will need to work out whether your dining partners do indeed understand wine. That is easy enough. Bring them something decent and see if they remark upon it. Then observe what they bring the next time you dine together. If your dinners are isolated invitations, or your hosts know nothing about wine, you may cheat with impunity. In short, vary your actions according to circumstance.
There is a deeper point here, though. You need to establish what is giving your fellow diners their utility – good wine, or the pleasure of one-upmanship? My fellow columnist, the economist John Kay, points out that economists “win” gift exchanges by spending less than everyone else, but most people “win” gift exchanges by spending more.
If your fellow diners are economists, then my analysis will apply. Otherwise, as the sole economically minded diner, make sure your wine is a little less assuming than everyone else’s. Everyone is happy, you save money and they feel smug. The moral: never forget to look for gains from trade.
Questions to economist@ft.com
You might also factor in the likelihood that your wine will actually be served. The problem is that the more likely it is that your host would actually appreciate a good wine if you brought it, the less likely it is they will serve it(and thereby bring it to the attention of the other guests) because they will have chosen their own wines to dovetail with their culinary choices. Indeed, such hosts are liable to see wine as an inappropriate gift and would be more impresssed by flowers (how much you should spend on those is another question.
Posted by: Craig | April 5th, 2008 at 6:54 pm | Report this commentRegardless of the fascination it brings the Undercover Economist–and our fascination with his answer–Miss Manners gave an even more insightful answer to the same question when it was asked years ago.
She pointed out what Craig also did–that hosts nearly always prepare wine to go with the food. She also reminded the Uncertain Guest that one does not bring wine out of concern that the host hasn’t any, hasn’t enough, or hasn’t anything suitable–it is not for you and your fellow guests to enjoy that evening. Just as one does not bring flowers because one pictures the venue to be bare.
The wine is for the host(ess) to enjoy another day, just as the flowers are for enjoyment in the succeeding days. The same reason why some thoughtful guests choose to bring a basket of, say, baked goods and jam–that after a long day and late evening preparing the food and drinks, serving, entertaining guests and cleaning up, the gracious host is spared having to rise early to prepare breakfast.
Posted by: HKLivingston, 26, investment banker | April 6th, 2008 at 4:17 pm | Report this commentAdults should never bring wine as a gift in the expectation that it will be served that evening. If your hosts have any discrimination, they will already have chosen suitable wine. The implication that they cannot do so is insulting. If it is bad wine, they will be doubly insulted. If your hosts have no discrimination, why are you visiting them?
The right thing to do is write a thank-you note after you return home. If you enjoyed the evening, send flowers or some other present, perhaps even a good bottle of wine.
Posted by: Martin Wolf | April 6th, 2008 at 8:31 pm | Report this commentI was taught it was always good manners to bring a gift when you are invited to dinner - so Martin’s follow up note/flowers wouldn’t cut it in my mind.
Posted by: blu-k | April 8th, 2008 at 4:45 am | Report this commentThe other downside of flowers is that is the time that people are going for dinner is not usually the time when flower shops are open. If I’m going for dinner at 8pm on a thursday, I’m much more likely to find a bottle shop on the way than an open florist!
But I guess that shows that I’m not a wine conossieur, as if I was surely I would have some at home!!
[…] reply is here, but the FT’s Chief Economics Commentator, Martin Wolf, offers his own view: Adults should […]
Posted by: FT.com | The Undercover Economist | Free advice! | April 9th, 2008 at 6:27 am | Report this commentWell from a young student’s perspective you should not be bringing wine in the first place. A jug of red beer, followed by a water pistol filled with gin for indiscriminate punishments is all you need for a decent night.
Posted by: Stephen | April 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm | Report this comment