At last, we can reveal why Gordon Brown sold Britain’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market. The prime minister is a poor trader because he is too in touch with his feminine side. How do we know? From the length of his fingers.
Researchers have found a strong statistical link between the profits made by traders at a London bank and the ratio of index to ring fingers on their hands. Those with a lower “2D:4D” ratio were exposed to more male hormones in the womb, making them much better at playing the markets. The traders with the longest fourth digit in relation to index finger made 11 times more money than those with the highest ratios.
So how does the prime minister measure up? Brown’s digit ratios look pretty feminine to me. His index finger is clearly longer than his ring finger. Surely this is conclusive proof that he was never cut out to sell off Britain’s gold.
Making shrewd trading calls is only going to become more important for prime ministers in coming years. Think of all those bank stakes that need to be sold. Which brings us to the key question: should you trust David Cameron any more with your money?
The answer, according to the rule of finger, is no. Dave’s hands are no more manly, and could even pass as dainty. Crucially, in terms of the “2D:4D” ratio, there seems to be nothing to differentiate the two main party leaders. What happened to choice in British politics?
So, who can voters trust with their money? Need I say it?
Jim Pickard
Kiran Stacey